Female signs of attraction/repulsion at work?

[johnnyp]

Easy question for the ladies here. How do you act around and towards a guy at work that you don't know but that you either…

 

a. Find very attractive

b. Think is the office weirdo

 

Yep you guessed it, I can't figure out which one I am. Please help

[HouseKitten]

If he's attractive? Blush, smile, make lame attempts at conversation, always have time for him.

 

If he's the creep - keep sentences short, discourage a lot of discussion and talk, avoid eye contact.

 

Basic body language a lot of the time. If someone repulses me I don't make an effort to engage with them in the same you would with someone who actively attracts you.

 

What kind of language are you getting from your co-workers?

[Cognitive_Canine]

a. avoid

b. avoid?

 

I don't want to be involved with an office romance.

 

As for a weirdo...what qualifies as a weirdo? I'd avoid them if I felt threatened by them but wouldn't if they were a nice guy who was a little off. Some of my best guy friends are "weirdos".

[KeepMe]

Easy question for the ladies here. How do you act around and towards a guy at work that you don't know but that you either…

 

a. Find very attractive

b. Think is the office weirdo

 

Yep you guessed it, I can't figure out which one I am. Please help

 

A: If I have a physical attraction, it depends if I want a romance or not. If I don't want a romance, but he is a great piece of work to look at, I wouldn't really change my actions. Of course I think most attractive workers get all of the attention, extra kindness, people pushing more toward starting a conversation, and willing to talk, and what not.

 

B: Anyone whose an office weirdo, people most likely try to avoid. I think if you are the one starting all of the conversations, and the other doesn't seem too interested such as: checking their watch/clock, not really looking at you while talking, a quick mmhmm, not very enthused, I would say they probably are not that interested in talking with you. I'm sure people would avoid the weirdo as much as possible.

[johnnyp]

Yeah, excuse my use of the word "weirdo". I'm not the kind to make those kind of generalisations about anyone....I just know a lot of people do and I wonder if I'm one of the ones getting called that word.

 

As for the reactions I get, I get stared at ALL the time (so much it's creeping me out), chatted to and smiled at quite a lot and women blush around me....BUT sometimes when I see them staring at me they roll their eyes and act like I'M the creepy one that was doing the staring and sometimes when I smile and say hi they'll just walk straight past me, glaring at me but not saying hi back. In one case I walked into an elevator and one of the women that stares all the time was in there and rolled her eyes and looked like "Oh great....this creep" and then rudely avoided all my attempts at conversation....even though she'd spent the past few months staring at me all the time and batting her eyelashes at me when we'd speak (I kid you not).

 

If I was the office creep, surely they'd all avoid eye-contact woudn't they? Most of my direct team are women and we get along great and laugh and joke all the time. I also generally do really well with women in terms of dates etc and often get described as good looking and all of these other office women will see me getting along great with my female colleagues so why the lingering stares followed up by cold shouders?

[jul-els]

If they're nice to you most of the time, then the times they're not I would just chalk up to a bad mood. As far as the elevator goes, I know some people who feel really uncomfortable sharing one. She may have been one of those. Maybe you're just overanaylzing it?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Rolling their eyes? I doubt people who dislike you will make it so apparent. They are probably trying to be cute and act like "I wasn't just looking at you, cute guy".

[johnnyp]

^^^

I hope so.....they just stare so much that it makes me feel very uncomfortable at times and I have pretty low-self esteem so I tend to think the worst. And yeah Jul-els I definitely tend to overanalyze.

[Cognitive_Canine]

^^^

I hope so.....they just stare so much that it makes me feel very uncomfortable at times and I have pretty low-self esteem so I tend to think the worst. And yeah Jul-els I definitely tend to overanalyze.

 

Do you have anything remarkable about your looks. Such as long hair, loud clothing, a beard...anything that would make you stick out. If not, it's probably because they think you are attractive. Do you think you are attractive?

[johnnyp]

Nothing really remarkable, but I guess I do dress with a bit more style than the other guys at my office. Most of them are quite plain in their dress such as plain jeans, hiking boots, black t-shirt (we work in a creative design and PR office by the way) while I tend to wear bright colours and am quite fashion conscious (not that I follow fashion.....just that I like to look really good).

 

Sometimes I think I'm attractive but most of the time I just hope I am and wish I was. Recently, on a date I went on, the girl I was with asked me how I'd rate my looks out of ten and I said I thought I was a 4 or a 5 and she laughed hard and said she didn't believe me for a second.....I took that as a compliment and didn't bother explaining that I was serious. The reality is I can get quite sad sometimes when I see my reflection and I tend to avoid mirrors when possible because of it. So this, combined with the fact with a lot of women have told me I'm very good-looking over the years and that most men I meet instantly dislike me and laugh at me behind my back, makes me overanalyze this kind of stuff at work (as I'm sure you can tell and wonder if I'm really creepy and unlikeable.

[Cognitive_Canine]

From what I've read, it sounds like these women stare at you because you are a good looking guy. Perhaps they feel that you are blowing them off since you don't approach them and that is why they have started acting huffy?

[HeartGoesOn]

Easy question for the ladies here. How do you act around and towards a guy at work that you don't know but that you either…

 

a. Find very attractive

b. Think is the office weirdo

 

Yep you guessed it, I can't figure out which one I am. Please help

 

Neither, I would be there to do my job, and not be there to rate your looks, or diagnose your behaviour.

[johnnyp]

^^^

Thanks for the comment HGO. You obviously have a lot more self-control than most people, as attraction and repulsion aren't usually so calculated and well thought out (for me at least).....they mostly just happen.