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When you play with NC fire, you're going to get burnt

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After speaking with a friend yesterday who gave me different advice than everyone else, I decided to send my ex an email saying that now that several months had gone by I was hoping that maybe we could be friends like he said we could be at the time of the break-up. He lives on my street and I was hoping to just break the ice so that when we do eventually run into each other it wouldn't be so awkward.


He wrote back that he is quite aware that we probably will run into each other by chance and that he feels he will be able to have a decent conversation with me then but he would rather leave it to chance. He said that he is not at that place right now, wants to keep the past where it belongs, that he has moved on with his life and does not desire to have a friendship with me right now.


I knew when I sent the email that there was a chance that he would not be receptive to being friends but I really didn't think that was going to be the case. So of course I was really hurt when I got his answer but I have no one to blame but myself. At least now maybe I will give up on the idea that we would be able to remain friends and finally let go and move on.

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are you the dumper or the dumpee? ... are either of you in a relationship?


I was the dumpee. I am not sure if he is in a relationship but according to another friend he is still single as far as any of them know. However, he did have an affair last year and he ended it when I wanted to work things out. He told me after our break up that once she left her husband after the holidays they were going to pursue a relationship but except for 2 or 3 occasions where I saw her car at his house, I have not seen sign of her for a few weeks. He is her boss so I don't know if he came to his senses or if they are in a relationship and he just doesn't tell any of his friends.


You are probably wondering why I would even want to have him in my life as a friend after he betrayed me but I guess I am not able to hold onto anger and I would rather be friends than hate him.

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