desert_rose26 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Ok, so there is this guy that I get along with pretty well. There is this chemistry between us. But I don't know what is holding him back. He's asked me numerous times to hang out but it was mostly always on the day..so I can't make it with such sort notice. It seems like he wants to hang out with me but doesn't want it to be anything other than friends. I'm so confused by his actions. for example..he wants to hang out with me but only at the last minute he asks right on the day. I don't know. I think my answer is clear. He's just not that into me. Or he has issues. I think it's more that he isn't looking right now...or he can't make up his damn mind. I don't have time for this. SCREW it.. Link to comment
Gabo Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I guess you answered your own question. Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 yeah...i guess so. Now the problem is I don't wanna see him again! Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 ugh...rejection hurts...i hate this feeling! any encouraging words? Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 I think he is playing a game with me!~ one day he sends me a message and said he dreamt about me. and then he says something like I have more than 1 way of getting inside his mind. what da heck? Link to comment
easyguy Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Yeah, don't waste your energy over games. Link to comment
Gabo Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Well, not really encouragement, but here are your options: 1) Just peace out and don't worry about him. 2) Start playing the games yourself and see where that takes you. 3) Confront him and tell him that you are interested but you don't want to play games. 4) Continue to let him play mind games and not stand up for yourself. I tend to do either 1 or 3. If I was fed up but really wanted to give the girl a chance I might go with 3. 4 will make you miserable. 2 appears to work for some people. Link to comment
YakasJourney Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Maybe he just doesn't like to plan things out as much as you do. Personally, I enjoy last minute outings. If I just started seeing a girl (after 2-3 official dates), I might call her up at 5pm and ask her if she wants to go to a happy hour. Or go out for lunch on Saturday. I view this an indication of whether you are willing to make an effort to see me in a casual way. This is just the way I am--I don't like planning everything out in advance. Don't take this personally, or think that he has "issues". It's just different personalities. Maybe he needs to find someone a bit more spontaneous. Link to comment
obs Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 He might just be afraid of rejection so he asks on the day of so that if you can't he leaves himself an out since you're already busy. Next time he asks you, and you're busy, just let him know that you would be like to go out some other time if he would just let you know a little in advance. Link to comment
Taikero Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You can't make it with such short notice? Why not? I know you have obligations but you can't ALWAYS be busy or unable to put something off if you really wanted to do something with him sometime. Have you tried to reschedule with him for another time to go do something? It's not all on him to magically guess when you're available. Communicate and work something out if you really want to. Link to comment
No1 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Okay, let me ask you, when you two see one another, how is his posture? How are his shoulders to you? Are they facing you, away from you? Does he touch you, reach out to you? Does he play hit? Kid around? make you laugh? Does he walk with you? Away from you? There are a lot of signs once you are with someone. Have you tried making the first move? He could be asking the same things about you. He could say.. I ask her out, she goes out with me but she doesnt give me signs she likes me other than a friend. Some guys, like myself, are horrible at hints, what you might think are ovious, he cant pick them up. so you might just have to hold his hand, you will have to be the aggressor.. Hey, what have you got to lose? Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Okay, let me ask you, when you two see one another, how is his posture? How are his shoulders to you? Are they facing you, away from you? Does he touch you, reach out to you? Does he play hit? Kid around? make you laugh? Does he walk with you? Away from you? There are a lot of signs once you are with someone. Have you tried making the first move? He could be asking the same things about you. He could say.. I ask her out, she goes out with me but she doesnt give me signs she likes me other than a friend. Some guys, like myself, are horrible at hints, what you might think are ovious, he cant pick them up. so you might just have to hold his hand, you will have to be the aggressor.. Hey, what have you got to lose? You're right.. I'm used to really aggressive guys and this guy just isn't...he's subtle! I took a risk..and I asked him out. So at least now I tried and that's all I can do. I'm putting my foot forward. Whether he responds positively is another updated thread. (thanks for the tips..will try to notice more) Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 He might just be afraid of rejection so he asks on the day of so that if you can't he leaves himself an out since you're already busy. Next time he asks you, and you're busy, just let him know that you would be like to go out some other time if he would just let you know a little in advance. Yea...let's hope that's it. my gut feeling tells me so.. Link to comment
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