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Is it possible to heal a depression-scarred friendship?


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Long story short: "Rachel" and I used to be best friends, but my depression has driven a wedge between us.


I thought she was someone I could confide in about how depressed I was, without her judging me or withdrawing from me. I was wrong.


She thought I was someone who could handle a run of bad luck without getting all negative all the time, and that I was someone who could be strong, for her, no matter what else was going on. She was wrong.


I'm not trying to assign blame. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to ask. What...umm...what happens now?

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Well...there is a difference or line between when a friend is a confidante and is "there for you" versus having the situation where they are your therapist or take on the feeling of feeling responsible for your happiness. A friend who is there for you listens to you and supports you - but if you are their only support - you don't seek out counseling, don't have a support network that includes a few additional people, or don't go out and even get some fresh air - it is tough on them. They may feel very drained or that they are responsible for making you better.


I think perhaps you burned out on each other. I don't know what I can advise as repairing the friendship at this moment.

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Compared to SOME depressed people I'm in excellent shape. I haven't missed a shower or a day of work, and I'm getting about two hours a week worth of counselling. (And an equal amount of exercise.) I'm just finding it quite a bit more difficult to pretend to be a positive person than I used to.

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I wouldn' t give up on the friendship, maybe it will just take a bit of time for you both to kind of get past "the wedge". I think all great friendships involve hard times as well as good, just like any other kind of close personal relationship.


Do you two still spend time together ?

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