Need help, what should i do

[utzelf]

My first boyfriend of 3 years dumped me 3 days ago. We're both 18.

After Christmas he seemed confused about the relationship, every time I tried talking to him about it over the phone I would get a "I don't know" or silence after EACH question about it.

 

Meanwhile in person we always hung out with each other, had a great time and nothing seemed wrong like at all. We had a brief breakup in February. I was very upset I called him a lot and talked to him texted him etc. he eventually got back together with me before valentines day.

 

3 days ago we hung out,ate watched tv and slept together. When it was time for him to leave my house he seemed very upset so I asked him what's wrong? He just said "we're a weird couple" (I figured he didn't want to leave and wanted to spend more time together so I toke the train ride to his house with him) He then told me he didn't want the relationship anymore. I was upset and told him I won't call or contact him this time and that I agree with the breakup.

 

He promised me if ever regrets anything I would be the first to know and that he will make sure I get my delivery (I order things online and have them shipped to his house all the time). That's the last thing I told him before I left his house.

 

As soon as I got home I packed his ipod& a picture of us I didn't want anymore and express mailed it to him (so he definitely received it by now)

 

I haven't contacted him on the phone yet. I tracked my package and it was delivered to his house yesterday. He hasn't called me about it or anything (Which I find weird).

 

Should I sit back and keep waiting? My mom told me I was too available to him, called too much, hung out too much and never gave him space so he doesn't appreciate me.

 

What should I do? I know right now since the weather is nice he's probably playing handball all day and doesn't care that I haven't called him because he's busy playing Should I keep waiting for him to contact me and at least tell me that my delivery arrived? What should I do?

 

I have a gut feeling that continuing to leave him alone and wait for him to contact me first will do me good in trying to get him back, but I'm also scared he might move on.

[geekgirl4]

errr, its pretty obvious you guys have issues to work out and if he can't sit down and talk about them, he either thinks its not a problem or its not a problem he wants to deal with. Relationships will have speed bumps, if he's not trying at all, then I don't see the point. and i agree with your mother, you're making yourself too available and calling him often, you need to give him space. Send him an email saying that you want the relationship to work but you need him to start trying as well and that when he decides he's grown up enough to work things out, then he can call you, but for now, you're gonna go and live your own life.

 

And that's what you should do - live your own life. It seems you've been trying to repair the relationship for awhile but he just dodges you at every turn. If you're worried that he will move on, well, if he can move on so easily, then he's not someone you should be giving your heart to in the first place. You've been in a relationship for 3 years. Spend this time apart to figure out who you are without a bf - remember, you were a individual before him and you can be one again! You'll be miserable and thinking about him 24/7 but you have to be strong and get through it.

[utzelf]

Thanks for the post.

 

I think he's the one with the issue. He's confused : ( or really doesnt love me anymore.

 

It's just hard waking up every morning and rolling over to my cellphone and realizing that he has not

contacted me at all about the packages, about me or ANYTHING.

Every morning I just feel so miserable, especially when its nice and sunny out.

I just want to go back to sleep and not wake up. Ever.

 

But sadly I do wake up.

 

I wake up very confused. Sometimes when I'm busy showering or doing something playing game, tv or w/e i feel happy (a little)

I'm just like "He'll call me back he knows its his loss, he backed away from ME again and I'm not nagging him this time... NOPE."

I will never know if he misses me or not unless I actually give him space for once.

 

I believe he should because I know i was a great girlfriend, i was always there for him, thoughtful (bought him 1 small thing every time i went shopping),

cooked once or twice, listened, made him feel better when he missed school, gave him a guitar for his birthday the whole 9 effin yards.

(Hindsight- never gave him 100% space in fear of losing him probably 75% at most, but guess its all wasted efforts since he left me)

I seriously never saw this coming.

Never saw this coming because when I first met him I didn't like him AT ALL, I was very hard with him.

 

And sometimes I feel mopey so I can't get my work done . The amount of schoolwork that has piled up on me is ridicoulous.

Then I wonder what he's doing and start to cry and sleep.

 

Anyhow I'll keep updating (great relief). I guess i still feel horrible because its only day 5.

[utzelf]

I think I posted in the wrong section. I just found the "breaking up" section. How can i move my thread

[geekgirl4]

: ) It's always tough but you really got to stick to your guns and hang in there! Don't fall back! Your thoughts will be on him all day but eventually, if you hang in there, it will start to get less. I think you could find someone who will treat you so much better and you should believe in that!