Why do men continue to text if they're not interested?

[lar]

So I was dating this guy and it seemed to be going ok, but recently he never seems to make plans to see me. I initiated the last couple of dates and now he doesn't seem to be proactive at all, but when we were together things were good. It's now 3 weeks since I last saw him so I am pretty certain that he isn't interested. I can deal with that, although obviously it'd be better if he just tell me straight.

 

But he does keep texting me. Not all the time, but very regularly and he'll add in "hun" and put a kiss or 2 at the end.

 

Is he just trying to string me along for when he is next bored or something? I almost wish he'd just cut all ties.

[sidehop]

He is definitely stringing you along...maybe other women in his lives. You're not the priority from what it sounds like. I'd cut ties with him completely.

[uhohlala]

I almost wish he'd just cut all ties.

 

Why don't YOU cut all ties? Don't reply to any text messages like that, and don't initiate any interaction. He definitely hasn't made you a priority, and I agree that he might well be seeing someone else and trying to keep you as a backup. Unacceptable, right? You've got better things to do, and can find better people to do them with.

 

You're worried that maybe something else is going on and that if you blow him off you might prematurely cut off something that you valued ... if something else was going on he'd tell you. Anyone looking at the situation from the outside can clearly see that no matter what he's not treating you well. So you've got nothing to lose by cutting ties yourself.

[HouseKitten]

He's seeing someone else, it's not serious yet though so he's keeping you on the line in case it goes bad and he needs a backup.

 

Basically, he's interested but not as interested as he is in someone else.

 

Stop contacting him. If he really gives a damn then he'll pick up his feet, but I think this one is a write-off.

[annie24]

He's seeing someone else, it's not serious yet though so he's keeping you on the line in case it goes bad and he needs a backup.

 

Basically, he's interested but not as interested as he is in someone else.

 

Stop contacting him. If he really gives a damn then he'll pick up his feet, but I think this one is a write-off.

 

i agree 100%.

[pinkrobot]

Also agree with HouseKitten.

 

As long as he sends you a text every now and then, he knows that you know he hasn't forgotten about you...that way, when he's lonely and horny and can't get any (to put it bluntly) he can call you up and have some fun.

 

Just stop texting him. He's wasting your time.

[lar]

Thanks guys.

 

I know you're all right. That's why I've kind of told myself that I know he isn't properly interested. It's hard to cut all ties because we have a few mutual friends, but I definitely won't be initiating contact with him again.

 

I know if this was happening to a friend of mine I'd tell them the same thing - it's always harder to see when it's yourself.

 

He doesn't live far away and he can't be thaat busy, so there is no excuse for not making more effort. I'd like to think I deserve better than that.