Do you guys also feel wierd about your friends after your break up?

[Blackey]

Ever since the break up, besides of the bad feeling related to the break up, im also facing weird rejection feelings towards my friends.

I have 5 good friends, 2 of them are my best friends for many years. When i was still together with my ex we would all hang together and have fun and always enjoy our time, and after the break up all of these 5 friends really helped me through the break up.

The weird thing is that after the break up i feel kind of that im tierd of all of them and i dont really want to see them, i feel like i want to find new friends and to meet new people and perhaps just to see my old friends less.

Perhaps it is because every time i see my these friends of mine, it always reminds me about my ex directly or indirectly.

I feel really guilty about even only thinking about the option of leaving these good friends of mine who been there for me for so many years through good times and bad times.

There is no way i will actually finish my friendship with them or do anything to hurt them or to be less of a friend i am to them, but it for some reason i keep on thinking that it would really help me to find new friends and to stop communicating with the current ones for a while. I feel really guilty about this.

Has anyone of you guys experienced a similar feeling?

[iBroken]

Yup - going through that now

 

And while my ex and I are working on getting back together, I still want new friends.

 

I feel like i just want to start over - a new chapter if you will.

[easyguy]

Eh, I don't think so. I mean, my close friends will always be there for me. In fact, friendships have gotten closer because of the break up with my girlfriend/ex. I'm spending more time hanging out with them, socializing, et cetera.

 

It's good to get out and socialize and meet new people (which can come about through hanging with your friends), whether you get to the depths of friendship with most of them or not. It can be very refreshing to just hear someone's story who you've never met and step outside your own tight-knit community or family of people you're comfortable with. You know, the friends you see on a regular basis who are like family to you.

 

I don't feel weird about my friends, I just feel the need to expand my social circle, so to stop becoming extremely dependent on them. Getting some new blood, new energy, and new perspectives is healthy no matter what. However, I know the close friends in my life will always be there for me (and likewise), and are who I socially, aesthetically, and spiritually align myself with the most right now. They always inspire me to be a better person, and they (my 3 closest friends) have honestly helped shape me (spiritually, mentally) the most in the past few years.

[soheartbroken]

This is a really interesting thread.

 

I'm going through the exact same thing. Being around 3 of my friends really reminds me of my ex, so I'm super hesitant to hang out with them.

 

I think that when one goes through a breakup, one tends to grow. This often means seeing subtle things in your friends that you don't want in your "new" life, or recognizing the need to branch out and expand. New people in your life help to boost your self-esteem and have no connections with your ex. It can be a really great feeling to expand your social circle. Also, sometimes when one goes through a breakup your friends really suck at being there for you, and so no wonder one would want to make new friends.

 

But I'm like you, in that I can't/won't get out of old friendships...at least not now. And, once the devastation phase is over, maybe these friendships will actually have grown and become comfortable once again. Once being reminded of my ex doesn't hurt anymore (if ever!), perhaps these older friendships will be healthy again.

 

Until then, I'm sort of in an avoidance phase.

[easyguy]

There's one friend of mine who is in a unique situation - he and I are starting to work together as musicians, but he is one of my ex's room mates (and is the friend who introduced us). I knew him long before meeting her, so it's not like the break up threw off my friendship with him. In fact, it's gotten stronger, but I still have her in the back of my mind when I'm around him. I'm not going to stop being a friend to him, but it'll take time to get used to hanging/working with him with the disconnect of my ex.