Should I give in to circumstances?

[vontiki2000]

I posted here a couple of weeks ago about the girl that I was dating. So, to make a long story short, I will just paraphrase that last post. We had an instant, incredible connection...dated for a couple of months...she was completely overwhelmed by the hectic schedule that she has been dealing with...she said starting something with me now was too difficult and painful because she wasn't sure if she would even be living here in a few months. Well...she may not be. She was offered a job about six hours away. She told me that tonight during our long conversation. She emphasized to me that the feelings that we have are mutual and she really does wish that things could be different. I completely understand and I do not expect her to stay because of me...after all, this is her dream job that she has been offered. Even so, I can still sense that she is hesitant to go and I think some of that has to do with me. Let me strongly make it clear that I will not allow her to compromise her future and her happiness because of me. The more I think of that...the more it leads me to believe that I am in love with her. I don't mean school kid, giggly love either. I am talking about true, deep seeded emotions. Although I would be devastatingly sad if she accepts the job, I really do want her to be happy. It's a strange feeling. I've thought that I've loved other women, but this is different. I'm realizing that my past relationships were more of a mirage than anything else. I thought I loved these other women, but if any of them were in this position with me, I would make every effort to convince them to stay, foregoing their happiness for my own. Now, the problem is that I believe that her and I share a very special connection and it would seem like such a missed opportunity, perhaps the best I will ever have, to let it simply fade away due to circumstances. How do I let her know that, aside from compromising my integrity, selling my soul, or risk hurting her, I would do whatever it takes to make this work? I'm flexible...I have no current attachments...I can move if I had to. I worry about sounding desperate, although I do not feel desperate about her since I'm convinced that we share mutual feelings. This is the one relationship that I have had where I can truly say that I don't want to leave it with any regrets. So, I have to say something to her. Please help.

[hannah_k]

Put simply, just tell her without sounding anxious or creepy. Say that you're willing to try to make it work. And later, if it comes to that, discuss moving closer.

 

Step by step.