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How to tell someone you are interested in them?


Dorcas

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My situation isn't incredibly complicated, but it does make me nervous.

Dalton has been one of my close friends for a year now. We have everything in common, and talk about anything. We never fight, we just enjoy each other's company. But we don't really flirt either, which is why we haven't moved past friend-phase in a year (that and he lives an hour south of me, so I never really see him, we just text and IM right now).

 

Normally I might think that someone who doesn't even try to playfully flirt would not be very interested at all, but I know that he is not very good with flirting or thinking of anything remotely romantic so I don't take this as much of an indication of his feelings for me. I do know however that he doesn't like many people, and I happen to be a "confidante" to him, so clearly he trusts in me and likes to talk to me, which is a plus!

 

The only problem is, I don't know 100% that he shares my feelings, I only have a hunch. And I really value having him as a friend and I don't want to make it very awkward for him. So how do I tell a person that I am interested in them romantically, when there has never been any pre-romantic hints (flirts, dates, what have you)?

I feel like just blurting it out would be a little... out-of-left-field-ish.

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firstly, he needs to show he likes you that way which he hasn't shown, so i'm just going to assume he doens't.

 

but you can always just tell him your feelings. just get on the topic somehow and make it rain on him. just be ready for rejection if he doesn't feel the same way. how can you find out how he feels if he doesn't say?? he has to, perhaps you can ask him?

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Think you can start flirting with him a little...kinda subtly? See how he takes it and go from there? If you value the friendship, blurting out how you feel may hurt that...but I'm not a fan of bottling up either...well actually I ALWAYS bottle things up, but I know that's not the way to a lot of the time..

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"Hey... Why haven't we ever gotten together...?"

 

or, the beat around the bush..

 

"Would you ever date someone you were just a friend with?"

 

or the blatantly obvious...

 

Turn up naked in his living room.

 

beat around the bush would be the wrong thing to do, i think the poster is trying to say dont beat around the bush lol, but lead into it at the right time.

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firstly, he needs to show he likes you that way which he hasn't shown, so i'm just going to assume he doens't.

 

but you can always just tell him your feelings. just get on the topic somehow and make it rain on him. just be ready for rejection if he doesn't feel the same way. how can you find out how he feels if he doesn't say?? he has to, perhaps you can ask him?

 

Thanks, although I am pretty sure that he does like me. My point was that there hasn't really been any pin-point cases where I can be 100% sure. But I'm totally cool with rejection too, I just don't want him to feel awkward.

 

Mostly I am looking for a way to work up to the topic--- I'm hoping there might be a more subtle way of bringing it up and wording the phrase "I ADORE YOU". But maybe theres just not!

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"Hey... Why haven't we ever gotten together...?"

 

or, the beat around the bush..

 

"Would you ever date someone you were just a friend with?"

 

or the blatantly obvious...

 

Turn up naked in his living room.

 

I feel like asking a question like that might put him on the spot.

And I like the last idea, but he lives with others people. So. That could get awkward, and not with him, ifyouseewhatImean.

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Thanks, although I am pretty sure that he does like me. My point was that there hasn't really been any pin-point cases where I can be 100% sure. But I'm totally cool with rejection too, I just don't want him to feel awkward.

 

Mostly I am looking for a way to work up to the topic--- I'm hoping there might be a more subtle way of bringing it up and wording the phrase "I ADORE YOU". But maybe theres just not!

 

maybe get a dinner going or something, then just show him you like him, see what you're physical proximity is to him in situations where you want to hold him or touch him see how he takes your affection. there will need to be apoint where he tells you, but actions speak louder than words don't they?

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