How to move on?

[rusty_boi]

There is a girl i work with who i really like, ive posted about her before. But basically i have never felt this strongly about someone before. We have so much in common, and we tell each other stuff we wouldnt tell other people. Now she has a boyfriend who works with us, and i do believe if circumstances were different then her and i would of been together. But there not, and thats the reality of it.

 

So last weekend i got extremley drunk at my 21st birthday and asked this other girl out, who turned me down.My problem is I dont remember doing it, or anything else on the night so i am worried if i told the girl i work with i like her.

 

Anyway for the last month i have been walking around in this huge pain, and heaps depressed because i cant have her, and i have been doing my best to try and accept it. But when i go to work i either see her or i am reminded of her, by her files, or work we have done togehter, people mentioning her in conversation.

 

Now i messaged her on wednesday to go running together in our days off, she said she would call me and we can organise it. Tomorrow is the last day off, and to be honest i dont think she is going to call. Which i guess isnt a bad thing, she is probably trying to warn me off her.

 

I have told her alot that she is a friend, and thats what the running, etc is all about as friends. She then said "I know."

 

Im kind of stuck because it seems like a shame to have her out of my life completley because we have a ridicuolous amount in common, but in saying that i do want this constant pain to go away.

 

So i have made my decision to get over her, i just dont know how. Normally with a situation like this i just do the old NC and the problem goes away. Thats not an option her because of work.

 

Any ideas on how to move on? or at the very least make the pain stop?

 

BTW, i have tried to meet other girls but no one else interests me.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

I think you need to bottom this situation. That means biting the bullet and asking her "What exactly did I say to you on my 21st?". Otherwise you're not going to move on.

 

I have been in a situation where I liked someone I worked with and things got awkward between us. I bit the bullet, cleared the air and moved on. I stopped dreading work, got a boyfriend a couple months later and just got over the embarrassment of it all.

 

When you get to the stage when it is affecting you this much, you have to just be a man and face it head on. Do it sober, do it at the end of a Friday afternoon before work ends, say sorry for making things awkward and have the weekend to unwind and switch off.

 

Yeah it sucks that she doesn't like you back, but you can't let that set you back like this. Sort it out and the sooner the better.

[groovygreen]

Your post reminds me of a guy i fell for, we like you and this girl too had "a ridiculous amount in common" too, i think that's always an EXTRA hard thing is moving on from someone who just wants friendship but when you both have so much in common it makes it even harder!

 

There's much that reminds me of that guy i liked and even though it's been over a year since i last saw him face to face, i have to say for me, it DOES get easier, but do i feel any closer to moving on?! NO! i guess the main reason is probably because even though he would probably say we are still friends, it's hardly believable, i like never see him (well we don't exactly live close to each other and NO mutual "friends"!)

 

i don't know if this would work for you, but shortly after i last saw him and was struggling alot that he had just "left" my life so soon after coming in, i decided to start a journal and no, it's NOT "all about him" although i do write about him from time to time. It does help me. It's hard sometimes when what might seem the littlest thing will remind me of him.

 

Just remember what you had, try for a friendship, but if it doesn't work out, as bad as it is, you do have to move on, somewhat! i hope things work out and you can still be friends/talk.

 

God Bless!

[cheng]

Hi there. Im in the same postion as you are right now. Im on a NSA relationship and planning to go NC because the guy doesn't want to commit. Its really hard and I want to move on but I dont know how.