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Cuddling/Spooning Spinoff


bebeblondie

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This is sort of a spinoff from the Cuddling/Spooning thread.

 

Would you guys cuddle with someone you didn't care all that much about?

 

Just trying to see if wanting to cuddle has to with the person your cuddling with, or if some people are just cuddlers and others are not.

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I don't think I would enjoy cuddling with someone I didn't have "feelings" for (I would cuddle with my sister, mother, father or very good friends - not spooning though, but hugging, sitting close on the couch - in addition to a romantic interest/boyfriend). To me, that's just fake intimacy, and I think I would feel even more lonely, knowing that I was faking intimacy with someone whom I was not actually close to. That's just me though.

 

I know women often try to read into their FWB's cuddling/spooning as indicating romantic feelings, when they are hoping it will develop into a relationship, and most often it's just the case that the guy likes to cuddle, or is doing it because the woman likes to.

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Typically guys do not do anything for anyone that we don't "care all that much about". It is the nature of men to be somewhat selfish.

Except maybe Ghandi or the Pope or something.

 

Of course it is the nature of women to over analyze things that men do....uh huh.

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I don't think I would enjoy cuddling with someone I didn't have "feelings" for (I would cuddle with my sister, mother, father or very good friends - not spooning though, but hugging, sitting close on the couch - in addition to a romantic interest/boyfriend). To me, that's just fake intimacy, and I think I would feel even more lonely, knowing that I was faking intimacy with someone whom I was not actually close to. That's just me though.

 

I know women often try to read into their FWB's cuddling/spooning as indicating romantic feelings, when they are hoping it will develop into a relationship, and most often it's just the case that the guy likes to cuddle, or is doing it because the woman likes to.

 

That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved.

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That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved.

 

I see it a little differently, but same conclusion: I think if you're the type of person who can separate sex from romantic feelings/love, then you're probably the type of person who can separate cuddling/spooning from romantic feelings/love. So if you enjoy cuddling, you'll do it regardless of how deeply you feel about the person.

 

I'm very cuddly in relationships, but not interested in cuddling with someone I'm not very close to.

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That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved.

 

I do think it depends on whether or not you enjoy it AND whether or not you feel like it's something you do with someone you care about. For example, my ex both really likes it and sees it as an important way of expressing affection. When we were in a FWB situation, I could always tell when he was starting to fall for me romantically again because he would cuddle more often and get upset if I didn't want to.

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The guy I have a weird on/off relationship with will cuddle whenever... but, when he is not as interested in me romantically, he won't kiss me/make-out as often and passionately or try to sleep with me. But, will always cuddle. How weird right? He's the opposite of most guys.

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I love to cuddle, however I won't do so with someone I didn't care much about.

 

In my opinion, if that's the case, why bother?

 

I understand that it might be a bit different for woman, since woman are more likely to have sex only with someone they have feelings for. However men are different in that they don't need to particularly have feelings for a woman in order to have sex with her.

 

So I guess that might be the reason woman interpret a man cuddling with them as having feelings for them

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Cuddling to me is generally reserved for people I care and love...which is my wife and daughter. I really can't see cuddling with anyone else, it'd be odd.

 

Well I think once you've married and have a child your perspective changes on this issue. Did you feel this way before you met your wife?

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That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved.

 

Or so you think. Maybe his feelings for you were stronger than you realized. A man will not want to be particularly close to you (cuddling, etc) after sex if he does not have feelings for you. He will want to leave, usually.

 

A man that has feelings for you will want to be close to you afterward. At least, in my experience.

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Well I think once you've married and have a child your perspective changes on this issue. Did you feel this way before you met your wife?

 

Honestly? Always. I feel the same question can be applied to kissing, I wouldn't kiss someone unless I have feelings for that person.

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Honestly? Always. I feel the same question can be applied to kissing, I wouldn't kiss someone unless I have feelings for that person.

 

That's great...however, I don't think most men share your feelings on this topic. But it's nice to know at least one man out there feels this way

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That's great...however, I don't think most men share your feelings on this topic. But it's nice to know at least one man out there feels this way

 

Maybe I'm more emotional and love the physical affection from the person I love but I'm very sure there are plenty of guys out there like that.

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I'm on the shy side as far as guys go so my opinion may not matter but for what it's worth I don't cuddle at all with anyone. Granted, I love my family very much but I show them affection through traditional hugs and kisses on the cheek for goodbyes.

 

Cuddling for me is a direct correlation to a relationship with a signifact other. I've never been close to having a relationship and so needless to say I greatly lack that kind of physical affection. My lack of experience in this area impacts me in a way because I find myself, at random, longing for it at the worst times, like in the middle of the night. I admit I fill pitiful sometimes for feeling this way but I realize I may have a good reason for it as most my age are developing experience relationship wise, while I'm not, at all.

 

 

-Jake

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Jake, of course your opinion matters - just as much as anyone else's. I agree. That kind of affection is directly related to one's relationship with that person (at least for me, I can't speak for others - but it's been my experience so far).

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