bebeblondie Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 This is sort of a spinoff from the Cuddling/Spooning thread. Would you guys cuddle with someone you didn't care all that much about? Just trying to see if wanting to cuddle has to with the person your cuddling with, or if some people are just cuddlers and others are not. Link to comment
unknownme Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I Think some enjoy it more then others. But usually when they have feelings for you its a way to be near you and touch you... Link to comment
Puddincup Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Well I'm a cuddler but I'm choosy about who I want to cuddle with. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I don't think I would enjoy cuddling with someone I didn't have "feelings" for (I would cuddle with my sister, mother, father or very good friends - not spooning though, but hugging, sitting close on the couch - in addition to a romantic interest/boyfriend). To me, that's just fake intimacy, and I think I would feel even more lonely, knowing that I was faking intimacy with someone whom I was not actually close to. That's just me though. I know women often try to read into their FWB's cuddling/spooning as indicating romantic feelings, when they are hoping it will develop into a relationship, and most often it's just the case that the guy likes to cuddle, or is doing it because the woman likes to. Link to comment
shuttlefish Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Typically guys do not do anything for anyone that we don't "care all that much about". It is the nature of men to be somewhat selfish. Except maybe Ghandi or the Pope or something. Of course it is the nature of women to over analyze things that men do....uh huh. Link to comment
orchidrose Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I probably would, though I'm much more likely to do it (and enjoy it) with someone I care about deeply. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 I don't think I would enjoy cuddling with someone I didn't have "feelings" for (I would cuddle with my sister, mother, father or very good friends - not spooning though, but hugging, sitting close on the couch - in addition to a romantic interest/boyfriend). To me, that's just fake intimacy, and I think I would feel even more lonely, knowing that I was faking intimacy with someone whom I was not actually close to. That's just me though. I know women often try to read into their FWB's cuddling/spooning as indicating romantic feelings, when they are hoping it will develop into a relationship, and most often it's just the case that the guy likes to cuddle, or is doing it because the woman likes to. That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved. I see it a little differently, but same conclusion: I think if you're the type of person who can separate sex from romantic feelings/love, then you're probably the type of person who can separate cuddling/spooning from romantic feelings/love. So if you enjoy cuddling, you'll do it regardless of how deeply you feel about the person. I'm very cuddly in relationships, but not interested in cuddling with someone I'm not very close to. Link to comment
orchidrose Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved. I do think it depends on whether or not you enjoy it AND whether or not you feel like it's something you do with someone you care about. For example, my ex both really likes it and sees it as an important way of expressing affection. When we were in a FWB situation, I could always tell when he was starting to fall for me romantically again because he would cuddle more often and get upset if I didn't want to. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 The guy I have a weird on/off relationship with will cuddle whenever... but, when he is not as interested in me romantically, he won't kiss me/make-out as often and passionately or try to sleep with me. But, will always cuddle. How weird right? He's the opposite of most guys. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I love to cuddle, however I won't do so with someone I didn't care much about. In my opinion, if that's the case, why bother? Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2010 Author Share Posted March 11, 2010 I love to cuddle, however I won't do so with someone I didn't care much about. In my opinion, if that's the case, why bother? I understand that it might be a bit different for woman, since woman are more likely to have sex only with someone they have feelings for. However men are different in that they don't need to particularly have feelings for a woman in order to have sex with her. So I guess that might be the reason woman interpret a man cuddling with them as having feelings for them Link to comment
Puddincup Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 Have any men answered on this thread? Link to comment
sidehop Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 Cuddling to me is generally reserved for people I care and love...which is my wife and daughter. I really can't see cuddling with anyone else, it'd be odd. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 12, 2010 Author Share Posted March 12, 2010 Cuddling to me is generally reserved for people I care and love...which is my wife and daughter. I really can't see cuddling with anyone else, it'd be odd. Well I think once you've married and have a child your perspective changes on this issue. Did you feel this way before you met your wife? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 That's why I ask, not that I'm in a situation like this. But in general I think cuddling/spooning just has to do with whether or not you're the type of person who enjoys it. Because I know there are many FWB situations that entail cuddling after sex but there's obviously not many feelings involved. Or so you think. Maybe his feelings for you were stronger than you realized. A man will not want to be particularly close to you (cuddling, etc) after sex if he does not have feelings for you. He will want to leave, usually. A man that has feelings for you will want to be close to you afterward. At least, in my experience. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 I don't agree. I think some guys simply like to cuddle. I don't think it means he has deep feelings for you. Well, it probably means he cares about you in some capacity and don't see you as a skank, but I really thing it shows any deep feelings. Link to comment
sidehop Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 Well I think once you've married and have a child your perspective changes on this issue. Did you feel this way before you met your wife? Honestly? Always. I feel the same question can be applied to kissing, I wouldn't kiss someone unless I have feelings for that person. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 Honestly? Always. I feel the same question can be applied to kissing, I wouldn't kiss someone unless I have feelings for that person. That's great...however, I don't think most men share your feelings on this topic. But it's nice to know at least one man out there feels this way Link to comment
sidehop Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 That's great...however, I don't think most men share your feelings on this topic. But it's nice to know at least one man out there feels this way Maybe I'm more emotional and love the physical affection from the person I love but I'm very sure there are plenty of guys out there like that. Link to comment
Jake Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I'm on the shy side as far as guys go so my opinion may not matter but for what it's worth I don't cuddle at all with anyone. Granted, I love my family very much but I show them affection through traditional hugs and kisses on the cheek for goodbyes. Cuddling for me is a direct correlation to a relationship with a signifact other. I've never been close to having a relationship and so needless to say I greatly lack that kind of physical affection. My lack of experience in this area impacts me in a way because I find myself, at random, longing for it at the worst times, like in the middle of the night. I admit I fill pitiful sometimes for feeling this way but I realize I may have a good reason for it as most my age are developing experience relationship wise, while I'm not, at all. -Jake Link to comment
BriarRose Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Jake, of course your opinion matters - just as much as anyone else's. I agree. That kind of affection is directly related to one's relationship with that person (at least for me, I can't speak for others - but it's been my experience so far). Link to comment
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