My partner at work declared his love for me!! what do I do??

[Johy]

Well,

I've been in similar situations before, but this time is different,

 

I just started this new job, and it is the opportunity of a lifetime...

Our job requires us to work together...and the worst part of all this is that he is a great guy, successfull, nice, a gentleman, good looking, I mean everything a girl can want...

he is in his late twenties, and is in that stage where he wants to settle down, and all he needs in his life is a girl to complete him...

I just came out of a 2 yr relationship (two weeks ago) I moved out, I'm broken hearted, and my partner(work) has been there to support me when I;m feeling down...we have gone out to eat after work, during the week, and he knows all my relationship turmoils, he gives me great advice, and has been very supportive.

I like him as a friend, and right now I'm not ready for a relationship, AND, my job is my life right now.

I'm in love with another man, and we can't get it together, he's one of those bad boys, AND THEN this great guy in the wrong place at the wrong time (literary) comes nockin on my door

Last night he declared his feelings for me after a great dinner, and I was very understanding about his feelings...but I let him know that I want to be friends.

Idon't know how work is gonna be next monday, but I don't want to hurt him either..................

[vitalcoaching]

Congratulations. Looks like you followed your instinct and said exactly what he needed to hear.

 

Trust your instinct with that. You say:

 

"I like him as a friend, and right now I'm not ready for a relationship"

 

Trust yourself with that. Your instinct is guiding you right.

 

Monday? be straight, direct and behave exactly the way you did before, What happened has no reason to shift the ground of your friendship.

 

Stay confident and empower this friendhip even more. I think you have all the skills to find the right moves. Don't apologize, don't make yourself smaller, or feel guilty.

 

In a situation like that, he might expect some form of explanation. It could be wise to meet him again out of work in a week or so, go for a drink and take a moment to tell him why you can't start a relationship with him right now (needing space after a break up is something I am sure he can understand and respect).

 

Tell him how much you value his friendship and that for the time being you would like this to stay.

 

Does this make sense?

 

good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[Johy]

yes, it makes sense,

He actually just called, and apologized for telling me this last night...

and I told him that it was OK, and not to apologize, he was just being himself.

I just fell really concerned because from what I know and from what people tell me, he has not had a g/f for 6 yrs, I mean "A REAL G/F" he's dated and seen other people, but the feelings of a true relationship he has not felt for that long, and last night he said that finally he knew that he can still love, because those feelings had been forgotten...ISN'T THAT DEEP???!!!

And for some strange reason I believd him....

 

Anyway, thanks for your advice, i now know I made the right move...

 

chao

[nenez]

Dear Johy

Its always the way isnt it? Just when you cant cope with one a really great guy comes along.

I think you did exactly the right thing but listen to the wind here....

Forget the bad guy. Give yourself a little time. Love yourself again.

Look at the good guy. He may be just what you need,

Thers nothing like being told you are loved to spark a girls interest...

anyway, be well, be happy

Love nenenz xxx

[Ivy1]

I think I know what your kinda going through. I'm from a REALLY small town so word gets around really fast. I found out this guy at work liked me and at first I didn't him but unlike you now I kinda do. As I read more of the advice by others I beginning to think that you just got to be honest with yourself and him, you done a good job being honest with him now he knows that you guys will only be friends and nothing more, that's not so bad.

[Francis]

It is true you should be honest with him and tell him you are not ready yet. If he is a true gentleman, he will wait. However, you should simply STOP right away seeing bad guys forever and engage in a good relationship with this guy. Good men are hard to find. It is good that you won't attach to him fastly. Get to know him first.

 

Good luck!