Finally healing?

[lisaria]

Hello everybody,

It's been nearly four months and I guess everyone pretty much knows my story since I've b@#tched, vented, rambled and pretty much cried on all of ya'lls shoulders so many times. Thank you so much for being here.

I think I may be healing finally. I sent an email earlier this week after wondering and questioning and asking everyone's opinion a million times, I did finally send it. It was a very nice email (I thought) and I took responsibility for my failures and the things I did wrong that helped end it. I told him that I had really good memories and I hope the bad didn't outweigh the good and I wished him all the best. I did not add the PS don't reply thing. That was a little much I thought and it would look like that was what I wanted. Not that it mattered since I've heard nothing.

Not a word which I think is probably the absolute best thing. He can't accept the responsibility for his actions and I realize that he probably never will. I don't think I want to hear from him. NO. I KNOW I don't want to hear from him. Now I can finally move on. I can finally accept that it is OVER. I loved him and gave him ALOT. He loved me (I know he did at one time) and he gave me alot in the beginning. BUT....it's over! I'm free! I do not ever have to worry about him again. I may still have bad days but it will be because I'm alone not because he isn't there.

If he were to contact me now, it would just hurt and he's done enough of that to me. I will not go through it again. I was hurt the first few days after sending it and no reply. Really down, but now I realize the awful truth and I can live with it. It's not such a bad thing to finally be free of him. I'm my own woman again. I have taken back my power and he will never know what he gave up. I never thought I would get to this point and even a week ago, I didn't think so. But one day you wake up and you can see things a little more clearly. You can think rationally again about the ex.

So hang in there everybody who has just started the healing and no contact phase. It will definitely get better and one day you will have the wonderful thought that maybe they weren't as much as you thought they were. That YOU DO deserve better and YOU WILL find better.

This website has saved my sanity so many times and kept me from begging and being a total dumba##. Thank you everyone for everything. I cannot tell you how much you have helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life. I hope maybe I helped someone in return. Thank you!!!

Lisa

[tiger_lilies]

Beautiful post Lisa. Good for you!!! I feel exactly the same why you described on your post. Take care and all the best to you.

[LukeYLuke]

once again its so good to hear someone in a similar situation getting on top of it! i makes me really happy for you and hopeful for me and everyone that is where i am that you can push through the pain.... take care of yourself xxx

 

Luke

[princesa]

Dear Lisa,

 

yes...that's the way to go!!! We h-a-v-e to realise when to stop, we can't go on wondering about and hoping forever. There's too much life and too many wonderful people out there we'll miss out in the meanwhile!!!

I tried the very last time too, and I don't know what that was the other day with my ex, some weird exchange of flirty e-mails, but I don't see it being anything else really. And if there is something I've learned during the last months of no contact...it's that I'm worth so much more!!!!!

 

We'll survive, yes there will be bad times, but not for long.

 

May the real healing start

 

take care, I'll be there for you,

Princesa

[lisaria]

Thank you tiger_lillies!!! We have survived, haven't we? Despite them.

LukeYLuke, Hang in there hon, there is hope. You will overcome and be wiser and stronger and the next relationship will be so much better.

princesa, We are fantastic!!! They can't see it because they are blind to the true beauty which comes from inside. We heal and grow. They aren't growing because they didn't see the pain we did. They kept going like nothing was wrong. They didn't get that kick in the stomach that we got when they left us. They kept right on with their lives while we GREW. Who knew?

We are all so much better and wiser and stronger. They are stagnant. Don't you love that word to describe the ex? Stagnnat. Pond scum. Algae. Fungus. Slugs. Torpid. Static. Standing still. A Growth on Humanity's backside.

Oops. Was that a little anger? Yeah. I didn't say I was 100% cured of that yet. (I like the little green alien when I think of my ex) 0X

If you think about it, they really did stand still. They will keep doing the same stupid things that messed up this relationship until they learn their lesson, which I hope is soon (oops, anger again). We learned a very valuable lesson that they will never learn. Sure, it seems like they got the better end of the deal, but we got the lesson in life that will never be wrong. LOVE. And think how much stronger and more powerful we are now. Love does that to you, even if it didn't stick around long enough on their part. We still got the lesson. Boy! Didn't the homework suck!

I'm rambling again. I just wanted to say thanks my friends and I wish all of us to get past those lying, cheating scumbags and have a great life without them.

lisaria