What's going on?

[Freak of nature]

Well, I wasn't sure under what category I should post this. Anyway, here's the problem: There was a girl (let's just call her 1) last year that I liked, but we never talked. I do know her name, though. I made eye contact with her, but she appears to have noticed only at the end of the year. I am very shy, so everytime she looked at me, I just turned like any shy person would. Well, I know she is still in school, because I have seen her. I have made eye contact again this year, but she only noticed a little while ago. She only looks at me sometimes, but this time she must be 100% sure I also look at her, because we have seen each other in the eyes. Well, the problem is that she has a friend. Let's call her 2. I don't even know her name. But now, 2 also makes eye contact with me too. Sometimes, when I pass them both in the hallways, they both look at me (which is sort of overwhelming, because I am shy). Sometimes that happens, only 2 looks at me and 1 turns just looks straight ahead and keeps on talking to 2. Well, I am not very sure 1 likes me, because she only looks at me sometimes, and most of the time she turns her head the other way (or just keeps looking straight ahead) when I look at her. And I don't think neither of them is shy, so that's not the reason she does that. But 2 appears to look at me everytime she notices me. We may be at lunch, and she is sitting in the other side of the cafeteria, and still looks at me sometimes. This has also happened with 1, but very rarely. Well, I remember that last year, I was sitting in the library reading, and 1 sat beside me, but I didn't notice until she was leaving (she was already almost out of the library). Believe me, I almost dissolved into water when I saw the chance I had missed just for not checking out my neighbor. She hasn't been that close to me ever since. This year it hasn't happened, though. I don't think she likes me, or maybe she just expresses in a different way. But this year, 2 sat close by (but not beside me) and I noticed. Well, there is a classroom where 1 and I have a class, but at different times. Hers is actually just after mine. I used to sit in a desk next to the one she sat (but at different times, like I said before). I made an experiment. I wrote some sentimental stuff and wrote stuff like "I am sorry for being a jerk" in my desk. Then, the following day, when I was going to my next class from that same classroom, she was waiting outside, and looked at me directly in the eyes. I don't really know what to think. It's a little freaky for me, because I have never had a girlfriend, and until some time ago, no girl would even look at me. I have lost a lot of weight this last couple of years and I, off course, look much older. Now, there are a lot of girls that are nice to me, and some I don't even know look at me in the hallways. I hope it's not because I am a freak. There was this girl (she even was hot) that was standing in my way, I just said excuse me, and she turned and looked at me in the eyes, and I just felt a little shaken something like that had happened, because it was as if she was waiting for me to say something else. Well, my point is that 1 is the only girl I have ever really liked, but I am not sure she likes me. So, I am not sure who I should approach. Since last year, I have wanted to approach 1, but never could. Now, so many things have happened, I feel a lot more confident. 1 and 2 appear to be very close friends, because they hang out with each other most of the time. So, who should I approach, 1 or 2? Should I just go for the one I really like (the one that makes my blood feel like nitro-glycerine, and my stomach full of butterflies)?

[Stinkweed]

Well, I guess you should approach the one you like the most. I am very shy too (extremely shy, actually). So, in your case, I would also consider which one you know better. You say you even know 1's name. So, unless you are sure she definitively doesn't like you, then she's the one you should approach (I think Well, I have never been in a situation like that, so I can't really give you any advice.

[Freak of nature]

I still am not sure. Does anyone else have something to say? Please post if you do.

[Silent Man]

Dude it's also possible that 2 is only looking at you so much cause 1 DOES like you. They are good friends you said and girls are like that. The only thing that bothers me about my theory is...if that was the case 2 should have come to you on behalf of 1, cause you said they weren't shy.

 

If you decide on 1 maybe you should approach 2 and tell her you like 1 and see what she says. Maybe tell 2 your shy but you like her friend. Maybe she can help.

[SuperBoy]

Well, it sounds as if you like 1 but not 2, despite the fact that 2 notices you a lot more than 1.

 

Do you like 2 at all? Because since these girls are close friends, if you ask out one of them, the other will find out. Depending on their personalities, that may or may not kill your chances with the one you don't ask out.

 

I would advise you to just try to talk to them -- BOTH of them -- for now. Get to know them. Then you'll be able to figure out which girl you click with more and ask her out. Doing it this way will reduce the risk you take by asking one of them out.

 

If you're having trouble with working up the courage to talk to them, all I can say is take advantage of the next good opportunity to talk with them and DO it. I'm really shy around the girl I like, too, but my desire to be with her and talk with her is stronger than my nervousness. So you just have to make yourself go over and talk.

 

That's just my 1 cent.

[Freak of nature]

Well, the problem is that I almost never see them. Actually, I think it is easier if I approached 1, because I know where to find her (sometimes) alone. Well, I don't really know what to think about 2. But I am sure I really like 1. The problem is that I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of neither. If I approach 1, and she rejects me, I would then like to approach 2. But if 1 tells 2 (after rejecting me) I approached her, then 2 may develop a grudge against me, because after all, she showed more interest. Or maybe they both show interest, but 2 does it more openly. I don't know how to tell. After all, they are two different persons. Well, should I take my chances with 1? Because I really doubt I can work up the courage to talk to BOTH of them. I also need to add that I am not really sure if any of them is shy. I mean, I think they are not, but I wouldn't be able to tell. Maybe they both are, because I very rarely see them talking to guys. They hang out with this group of girls. They sit together during lunch. I rarely see 1 talking to guys. And, well, I can't say I have ever seen 2 talking to a guy. Well, I also have seen her a lot less than 1, because in the whole last year, I never saw 2. On the other side, there was this new kid last year, and 1 was one of the first persons I saw talking to him. Well, I wouldn't worry about him, because he is not in this school anymore. But, my point is that I just can't tell if they are shy. So, who should I approach? Besides, I would like to do this as soon as possible. Does anybody want to add something?

[BusyGirl]

Being a girl, I'd say you approach 1 since you've said you really like her and don't know what to think of 2. Approach her and talk to her, just casual conversation. It seems to me that 1 might like you. When you do make your move and ask her out, IF she says no, then do NOT ask 2 out by any means. If you ask 1 and she says no, there's a chance that maybe later when she gets to know you more she will say yes. But if she says no and you go and ask her friend- your chances of even getting to know 1 will be pretty much lost!

 

Hope this helps a bit.

[SuperBoy]

So you don't have enough time to get to know them. Hmm...in that case, it's pretty obvious what you should do. Ask 1 out. You clearly know that you like her, while you're not sure about 2. But to expand on what BusyGirl said, if you ask 1 out and she rejects you, DON'T ask 2 out. 2 will have found out from 1 what happened, so if you then approach 2, she'll feel like she's your Plan B (which would be true). That won't exactly encourage her to say yes.

 

It's interesting that you haven't noticed 1 talking with guys very much. That COULD be good, but it might also mean that she has a boyfriend and so doesn't want to hang around other guys too much. Or she does talk with guys, and you just don't catch it when it happens. My point is, don't go by who you see her talking with.

 

I need a little more to go on to figure out if she likes you. Does 1 ever smile at you when you guys make eye contact? Does she look down or in any way act nervous after you exchange glances or say hi?

 

Does she pretty much always notice you when you're around? What "vibe" do you get from her -- any gut feelings that there's something there between you two?

 

If the answer to at least 2 of those questions is a definite yes, then things are looking good for you.

[Shyness_overwhelms]

ask 1 out... do not say please... that will make you look desperate....just wait calmly for her answer... look into her eyes... even if u start to blush... do not look away....the perfect time to ask her out would be when she is alone, but if 2 is around with her is also a good time because 2 will probably not laugh at you... 1 will most likely be waiting for u to make the first move.... even if you dont know her, ask her out neways... that is the whole point... to get to know her better....

 

i am sort of in the ame place as you... there is this girl that hangs around with friends constantly, ... her friends always look at me, but thats because they all know me and i know them.... and me and the girl both like eachother, but she has a bf and is moving away at the end of school year.........

 

well.... nm... i guess im not in the same place as you..... but....still... go ahead... ask her out..... you have nothing to lose... its not like she will cut you from her life or anything.....

[Freak of nature]

Well, I just don't know if 1 likes me. I think she notices almost always when I am around, because she sort of acts different. The last time we exchanged glances, she was walking to the cafeteria with one of her friends. We just exchanged glances, and she was quiet for like 1 second, and then she turned her head and resumed the conversation with her friend. Sometimes, we walk past each other (mostly in opposite directions) and she just looks straight ahead. I just know she notices me. But I don't know how I can tell if she is nervous. She just completely relaxes her face, and sometimes walks pretty fast and speeds past me in the opposite direction. She doesn't smile at me, because I don't think she knows what I think about her. She hasn't said hi, because I haven't said hi either, and that is because I am shy. Until I tell her, I will not know for sure. And about the fact that she doesn't hang out with guys, well, most guys in my school hang out with other guys too. Only the ones that appear to have serious girlfriends are seen with their girl walking around the hallways. The others just sit together with their buddies in the cafeteria. And me, well, I just sit with random people I don't know very well, because the ones I know have lunch at other time in the day. And I talk to girls and guys alike. Actually, I find girls in this school more friendly. Because most guys just hang out with other guys they have known forever. And well, Shyness_overwhelms says I shouldn't say please. But what if I make it sound as respect instead of despair? That would show her that I have respect for her, wouldn't it? I don't want to sound too needy, but I want to tell her that I want to get to know her. Any tips on that?

[Shyness_overwhelms]

ask her out... you dont know if she likes u or not... this is a good way to know for a fact and if you two connect with eachother.... watching from afar can always seem nice, but getting to know someone throws in a second guess.... u might like the way she looks, ... u might see it in her eyes... she might seem nice, but once u get to know her better, she could be reaaly heartless.... i am of course not saying that she is... just from past experiences.....but ya... u should ask her out... find out if you two really do like eachother....

 

forget what i said about the please thing...... just be yourself.. u never know ... she might think that your shyness is cute and fall for u.... u have nothing to lose.... take a chance... if she turns you down dont seem sad.... just say "ok, no problem"... and pick up a conversation from there... because once you ask her out you will feel more comfiterable around her after all that weight is off your chest....

 

just asking, but when was the last time u had a gf??

[Freak of nature]

I actually have a good line if she rejects me. I would say "Well, it's not like I was asking you to marry me, or something". And well, I have never had a girlfriend Well, anyway, 1 is the girl I like most. And I according to what people in this forum have told me, I think she may like me, or does she? Well, I still feel a doubt about that one. I will find out when I ask her out.

[SuperBoy]

Hey man, let us know how it went after you do ask her out. It'd be so cool if she said yes!

[Freak of nature]

Indeed it would. I have faith. Today she sat behind me in the auditorium (there were some speeches given by the candidates for student elections), but I dind't notice until I was leaving. But, I think she did it consciously. Besides, she wasn't alone. But tomorrow, if I see her, I surely will ask her.

[SuperBoy]

It sounds as if maybe it simply wasn't meant to be, but I wouldn't give up yet. Just relax for the summer -- have fun -- and go into the new school year this fall with fresh resolve to talk to the girl(s) when you see them. Maybe take the advice I gave you about asking if it's okay to sit with them at lunchtime.

 

If it doesn't work out, don't be too dejected. For all you know, neither girl would be your type anyway, and somebody else is waiting for you in the future. That somebody else will be the perfect match for you.

 

I hope you have a great summer!

 

SuperBoy

[Freak of nature]

Ok, I feel I just blew everything. I just went to the library in my school, and there was girl 2, and she was alone. She does seem to still be interested in me. But I decided I was going to wait for a chance to talk to girl 1 instead. I don't know if I'll ever see girl 1 on what's left of the year. Do you think I made the right choice? I don't, and I feel so dumb

[Freak of nature]

Hello? Does anyone have something to say?