Need help with insecurity

[mtastic]

Hi guys,

I think I figured out the root of my problems: insecurity. It seems like i can't just let things happen, i have to think about everything that happens, and always worry and dwell on the negative side of things. I also tend to be the one to assume blame for everything, and usually veiw most bad things in my life as being my fault.

Anybody have any suggestions on how to change my outlook and be a bit more positive?

[BreArna]

hey sorry i cant help u become more positive, i also take blame for all the bad things that happen and worry about it for ages. I recently lost a good friend of mine because he said he didnt wanna be friends anymore ( long story behind it) i am totally heartbroken and naturally blaming myself and rackin my brain wondering what i did so wrong so i dont do it again in any other friendship.

I hope someone can help u anyway!

[Rainswept]

Hi mtastic

 

 

I'm sorry that your feeling this way ....I am one to know..I know what your feeling ...They say its easier to blame yourself...sometimes its closure for things that we grow so tired of pondering ...But if you do that..you'll just keep the pain at a close distance..

I sponged so much pain in my life...that it almost felt like a death in the family....it was so overwhelming that I wanted to just end it all....mtastic I think its great that you took a step in the right direction tonight by wanting to get better and improve....

As far as what worked for me....I started doing some independent things for myself..I joined a gym, by working out...or doing cardio...studies say you release a chemical that actually makes you feel better about yourself..and value life much more..You might suffer from depression aswell....I think counseling or talking to friends would do you wonders....Now I ain't a Bible thumper..So I ain't going to suggest religion..but from personal experience...it has changed me around completely..and I used to be very cynical...part of that was just me being upset with god for things I could not change....and then theres this site...just reading posts will sometimes give you the answers or support you need...knowing that your are Not Alone is priceless

 

Regards ~Rainswept

[ember]

lol, I know how you feel.. well I don't know how you feel... but I know how it feels (if you see where I'm going). sorry, I'm in an odd mood right now. anyway... yeah, one of my close boyfriends dumped me 'cause I was too depressed all the time & always blaming myself for everything that ever went wrong & it apparently was "bringing him down". It sucks... but I'm finally learning how to let go of things. I'm not sure if it'll work for you but you can always try: I started to really open up to people... showing them who I really was & how I really felt. I really hope that this will help. Taking in that much pain for too long can really hurt you (mentally & phisically) the best of luck to you... & if you ever wanna talk... I'm here. Ciao

[mtastic]

Thanks guys,

I guess lately i just feel like I screw things up alot, and have trouble feeling good when things do go my way. Like a few weeks ago i got a perfect score on the midterm for one of my classes, but instead of taking pride in myself and saying "yeah, I did a good job on that one," my first reaction was "this has to be a mistake, I never do this good." Even now, a few weeks later, it just seems like one little bright spot amogst everything else. The other big issue, and the cause of my post, is a girl I was seeing. It was my first relationship, we only went out for a month, but I felt happier than I evere had before and finally thought I was doing something right. Then a little over a month ago she said we should stop dating because all her pressure from work and school (we are both year round college students and she has full time job to boot) made it hard for her to devote proper attention to me, but still wanted to be friends. In retrospect that was probobly true, however i immediately went into my usual over-reacting and assumed "She doesn't want me anymore because of something I've done." And I've spent the last four weeks, including a total of 2 and a half no contact, being insecure, and as a result very needy, immature, depressed and generally bothersome. Saturday was the first time we talked in about 2 weeks, and then yesterday i majorly over reacted to an away message she put up,think it meant she didn't want anything to do with me anymore, and then apaologized and confessed to how insecure i've been over the past few weeks. Now, I don't know how she feels about me, and have even become insecure about my insecurities, thinking that because of my confessing them to her she probobly now thinks, if she didn't already, that i'm totally crazy and wants even less to do with me than she might have before.

sorry,thats kind of alot but i needed to vent.

Thanks for the advice/assurance, but i think i still need alot more help

[ember]

Don't think that; relationships can come & go; nothing lasts forever; and there will be more (and better) relationships. I could go with the whole "there are more fish in the sea" thing, but that quote annoys the s*** outta me. Smile, be happy! things will get better. I know that you probably don't believe me but it's true. if you ever wanna talk, just send me a message. ciao!

ember