My brother's keeper

[blossom88]

Hi guys,

 

I hope you can give me some feedback on this situation. I wonder what you guys would do in this situation.

 

for starters, my boyfriend ended the relationship about three months ago. It was basically summed up as "not working out". I was doing fine even though the break up hurt me a lot. I ended up accepting the whole situation and his decision.

 

that is until the crumbs started: a phone call here, texts etc. He even came to meet my family when they came from overseas to meet them. Sucked upto them etc. I know the best way to deal with this would have been with NC. but i thought that i could handle it. In truth i was far from handling it I was living a dream.

 

after receiving a series of anonymous calls from a woman the crumbs of calls and texts from my ex stopped. during this time i confided in my brother all that was happening. so after 2 weeks of silence he came to our religious gathering with a woman. I was truly hurt and shocked. I tried my best to hide it but to see them sit together as we once did was painful.

 

Any way throughout out all the break up I have been confiding in my brother. I told my brother about ex coming with this woman and my brother was enraged. He called my ex and politely called him out on his lack of consideration for my feelings. i had no idea my brother would do this.

 

well my ex called now he wants to talk tomorrow. I'm kinda scared but I have agreed to meet him. don't know what its about. if its about him seeing another woman it's kinda obvious. if its about me not having any hope in getting back i get that too!! well any i will update you guys tomorrow and let u know the outcome.

[headwreck]

What do you mean what would we do?

[LivingToday]

Confiding in family is good, probably not the best way your brother did it but as long as he doesn't get physically violent it should be okay. Obviously he loves you and was hurt that you were hurt. If you still don't want him involved, politely ask him to keep out of the situation because the drama already hurts enough. I think he'll listen.

 

Unless your Ex is afraid that your brother will do something to him, which I doubt will happen, the talk tomorrow should be fine. He will probably want clarification of what happened via phone, you can explain if you want. I probably wouldn't explain much, just that you spoke to your brother about the situation and he reacted. Might help you to find a way to get a No Contact (NC) going with the Ex to begin healing. Can also tell your brother that your NC involves friends and family keeping NC too so that you can fully heal.

 

But yes, keep us informed.

[blossom88]

well the ex and i had a talk and i felt much better afterward. firstly, he apologized for the anonymous phone calls saying he had an idea who it was and it would not happen again. and if they were to happen again i should let him know. secondly, i explained that i would prefer it if there were no more texts and phone calls etc (for the time being). i explained that crumbs will just hold me back. finally, we parted on civil terms. he was kinda freaked out by my brother's intervention LOL but he took it all in good faith.