Will I ever be able to trust again???

[thegoodgirl04]

Hi everyone,

I just ended a realtionship with a guy who would lie to me about very little things (and probably a few big things that I never found out about). I cought him lieing to me the first time when I was looking at his phone (he was right there) I nioticed there were two names above me (the same name as mine) when I asked who they were he said "your other numbers" which turned out to be a lie when I checked his phone later because I was suspicious. While checking his phone I figured why not look at his text messages. There I found that he asked a girl out to dinner while he was dating me. When I confronted him abot this, he said it was no big deal and that he just wanted to smooth things out between them (be blew her off when they broke up), he has a very hard time letting go of ex girlfriends and would alwyas bring them up in everyday conversation (so and so works there, so and so used to do that) it gets a little old after a while, like it was me, him and all the other girls he ever dated in the relationship. then he lied to me about staying at a motel when he was drunk with his brother, he said he stayed at his parents house. I cought him in the lie when the motel sent the receipt to the house!! Kmow I',m not sure if he was cheating on me (although I'm sure it sounds like he was) but why would you lie to some one about such stupid things if you weren't and they weren't such big deals? We were to be engaged but how could I marry someone that lies like that, when I talk to him he still doesnt get it and tries to blam everything on me???? I already ahve trust issues, will I ever find a guy that is trust worthy and will show me the respect that I deserve???

[woopsydaisy]

Yeah basically i think you..can if that answers your question...but i dont think its with this guy.Sorry to be blunt but to me been with someone who constantly lies is just going to wreck your mental health anyway...especially if you have trust issues in the first place.The reason i say that you will find a guy eventually is because there are some good guys out there who like you have trust issues and dont like been lied to.They see relationships in the same light as you...and believe in total honesty.And when you find a guy like this you will know believe me.

 

Hey this is just my point of view and i may be nieve in saying this...but thats what i believe.Its not nice to go snooping round though ...but in this case you had every right to ...and you was correct in thinking that he may be lying.Its in your hands what your going to do with this guy but i think you made the correct descion... i know a lot of people would find it difficult to stay with someone who constantly lies.Just give yourself a bit of breathing space ....and take good care of yourself..but remember there are good guys out there...and dont lose hope and dont think all guys are lyers cause we are not....take care

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks whoopsy, that helps, it's just hard to accept that someone who supposedly cares about you so much would lie.

[woopsydaisy]

Hmmmmmm it must be so frustrating..especially when you put all the trust in that person to be honest with you.The sad thing is some people are like that..i carnt understand it..i think at times its just an insecuritiy they must have about themselves...together with plain selfishness.I know i sound hard and im not perfect myself, it just would save a hell of a lot of hurt and pain if they were honest with how they really felt about things.

[thegoodgirl04]

I really think that it comes from this guys childhood, he was always trying to please his demanding father, so I think it carried over into adulthood, ANYTHING to please someone, even if it involves lying over and over which I don't understand, I would rather have the truth!!! It's too bad for him, cause he's 35 and he's not going to change, I feel bad for the person he ends up with, very scary situation there!

[woopsydaisy]

Thats it you need to count yourself lucky in a way and think positive...what would of happened if you ended up marrying this guy and you only found out about his lies then!!.Try and keep strong...and remember that there are good guys out there.

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks whoopsy, I know I'll be ok. As they say...that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger....