after breaking up for abt 2mths, i started to miss him

[pika_blue]

hi, i dont know if what i am about write in here sounds normal to you all, but i feel weird lately.

i broke up with my bf 2mths ago,... i was the one who called it off... coz i dont see us being together anymore...

but now... after 2 mths, i'm starting to miss him

i miss whinging at him, talking to him and just do things with him,

i dont know if this is normal, coz i know that people would miss they love one a day or two after the break up, not two months later....

 

can anyone please tell me what is the best option for me at this time?

is it ok if i somehow start talking to him again?

[Rage]

If i was you, i'd explain your feelings to him.

 

Life's too short to fcuk about!

 

See what he has to say, and if you don't like it, apply the ''no contact rule''.

 

Good luck.

[kungfumaster]

Welcome aboard pika_blue,

 

Whether its 1 week or 2 months later, or even in some cases, a year later or more, it is normal to miss someone you have loved. My guess was that in the first 2 months after you broke off the relationship with him, you were just in denial of those feelings, and that's okay. Denial is a good short term tool to use when you think you're not ready to handle feelings that are overwhelmingly painful.

 

Before you do anything though, I think you should really sort out your feelings for him. I think you have to sit down, do some soul searching, think about your relationship with him, and decide for yourself whether you miss him just out of nostalgia for the good old times, or if you really want to try to get back together with him, for the long term.

 

I say this because if my ex decides to recontact me again (I am a dumpee of 5 months now - from a 2 year, 3 month LTR), I don't want her to be "wishy washy" about her intentions of recontacting me. If she just wants to be friends, honestly, I would not want her to recontact me, because although I care for her still, I still have feelings for her (as your ex still might have feelings for you - and this would just put your ex back to square one in their healing process).

 

If you want to contact your ex to get back together, then you have to make it clear to him, or else he'll just go nuts trying to figure out what your intentions are (as I would be if my ex recontacted me).

 

Anyways, that's one opinion from the other side of the coin. Dumpers? Any advise.

 

Kung fu

[purpledreams]

Yeah i broke it off with my gf 7 weeks ago. I felt it was the right move until about 2 weeks ago now im starting to be uncertain. She called recently and all those feelings were there, i'm totally uncertain adn while i am i'm just going to keep getting on with my life, keep building on myself. I really dont know what will happen and dont know whether anyone really does. At the moment though because im unsure i want to try again (which would be like the 4th time for us) im not going to.

 

If you think its right pika go for it and talk with him, he'll be missing you and if you make it clear what your intentions are you're giving it the best chance. The 2months thing would have been shock and denial. Good luck

[Belle]

Pika,

I was in your shoes a few weeks ago and I called my ex back after a break up 3 weeks prior to that. I came to realize a lot in that time period and I made a few mistakes that you can learn from. I called him and told him I missed him and he was happy to hear from me and suggested we get together the next day. He wanted to see me and it was clear. However, I went on to talk about the relationship and how I wanted him back and this is a BIG NO NO. The next day when he was suposed to come over he got really confused and we ended up talking on the phone instead and he was still resentful and very hurt about what had happened and told me he didn't know what he wanted. When I tried to get a yes or no from him as to whether he was closed off he wouldn't answer. He called several days later but I wasn't home so I called him back later. He didn't call me again and I called him 4 days later. He answered but I kept the conversation light and it was still clear that he didn't know what he wanted. I didn't hear from him for about another 5 days when he sent me an email link, I guess he was thinking about me and maybe wanted me to callhim I don't know. But I haven't heard from him since. Since then I found out that he's on the same internet dating site I just joined so he is clearly pursuing other women. Whatever the case, he has made no effort really since our initial talk to figure things out and talk. So my suggestion is to talk to him and tell him that you miss him and see what he says. Don't tell him you want him back. Just see if he wants to see you. People abuse power when they get it and letting him know that you want him back will make him probably act like a vengeful game playing schmuck even if he does want you back.

 

Best of luck,

 

Belle