depressed

[brit]

i had such a good evening with my ex last night and tonight saw him at a party. as i was leaving, i saw him with this girl he dated before me. he was kissing her and they left holding hands. should i give up? i don't want to get all crazy. we have been getting along amazing.

[pip]

Well, you say you've been getting along really well, which means he's probably open to talking to you about things that are bothering you, etc. Perhaps you should actually say to him, 'look, I need to know if there's any future for us'. Be really open and honest with him.

 

If he says no, then it's time to move on. It's unfortunate, but it's better to suffer that disappointment now than spend the next few months going crazy, wondering whether you'll ever get back together.

[brit]

i just don't think it's time to do that. it will only scare him away and damage the friendship i've been trying to build. i want to keep hanging out with him, so that he has so much fun, that we end up getting back together.

[Hannibal]

How long ago did you guys break up? You shouldn't worry about telling him your feelings, he should be understanding. If he gets scared off because of what you tell him then quite frankly he wont be a very good friend to you.

[kungfumaster]

Hi Brit.

 

I hope you are doing better. While all the things you're doing now is a good way to get the ex back, I am worried that you are too concerned ABOUT HIM and HIM only, i.e., you don't want to scare him away, you want him to have fun, etc.

 

Keep doing the things you're doing, i.e., keep hanging out with him and be friends - no relationship talk, have fun - that is all good - BUT - you have to take this time to INVEST IN YOURSELF TOO!! Please. Many people in the stage of trying to get their ex back FORGET ABOUT THEMSELVES!! and are just tiptoeing around their ex, hanging on their every word or action.

 

You see, if your ex sees you improving yourself, taking care of yourself, bettering yourself, having a good time with your friends and family, WITHOUT HIM, he will begin to remember why he fell in love with you in the first place maybe, and then the ball will start rolling maybe. If you are always there for him or always available to him, you are not investing in yourself, you won't be growing.

 

If you invest in yourself, you will win both ways: if you don't get back together, you will have become stronger and a renewed sense of self; if you guys get back together, your relationship will be better because both of you are feeling good about yourselves.

 

That's just my advise Brit. Please, take this time to get reacquainted with your friends and family. Invest in yourself.

 

Take care.

Kung fu