I have an idea, tell me what you think

[Wonderment]

I think-- for my own sake-- I need to end our friendship and delete him off every. single. thing online.

 

Because, if I was healthy minded .. I wouldnt even WANT to be in a relationship with him, let alone obsess about it.

 

Im second guessing myself, and thinking *I* caused the break up problem, when really I know it was because of how HE was.

 

Im blaming it on myself that I "diagnosed" him straight to his face.. and asked him if he thought he had "issues." and that now he cant feel good about himself with me. and that, that is because of me.

 

Except, I never "argued" about anything that wasnt a very real thing that SHOULD have been argued.

 

Because-- his parents do not know about our son. He claims its because of different factors about our relationship and the fact that we're always on and off. When I was PG he wanted nothing to do with anything.. he explained it nice and I fell for it. He claimed he went into a depression after the baby was born and he wasnt a part.. I fell for it. He claims that NOW its been 2 years and "how can I tell them NOW?"

 

I argued this whole situation A LOT. To me, its simple. Okay-- we had a weird past. But now is now. He could have told them anytime.. and I preferred he tell them.

 

But also, Ive never met his parents. Im not sure whats so wrong about ME that I could never meet them. Probably the whole "we have a son together" weirdness.

 

But I just wanted to meet them and for them to know and to let him/ them be a part of each others lives. That cant be bad right? ( He had never said theres a reason that he doesnt want our son to meet them.. they're not alcoholics or weirdos or anything on their part)

 

I could never even go to his house.. never seen it.. for the first 2+ years I knew him. Eventually, he let me.

 

When the baby was 10 months old, I got a hold of him and very seriously told him that I'd like to try a real relationship. That I can let the past go and I'd like him to.

 

We had all kinds of issues. I blamed it on the past and that he must feel weird.

 

This went on until January when he all of a sudden left our relation ship behind and moved in with a woman he "was so in love with"

 

He told me I should be able to just be friends, like no biggy. Even though we were "together".

 

When she dumped him 2 months later, and I was fully moved on, he asked me if I would stop dating and we could " see what happens with us"

 

I was sucked back in.

 

Then all the current weird stuff.

 

Which is, after all that.. he's still never told his parents, never let me meet them, never called me his GF, would never change his Relationship status on Facebook, still has women friends who he see's.

 

and now its all my fault because I brought that stuff up and was hurt repeatedly by what he was doing.

 

and Im afraid that If I dont sever ties, I'll have to watch him make another GF run with someone else.. be hurt the whole time.. and then when I finally move on.. he'll attempt sucking me back in.

 

and he wont offer me anymore then I had just recently.

 

and I want to TELL him that I just ened to end it, and tell him that I know, logically, that if he wanted to fix any of these things.. he could.

 

and if he cared and was healthy minded.. he would know that I had every right to question those things and he'd want to fix them, right?

 

So.. ending it fully, would be best? and to quit talking? quit IMing? Get him off my facebook? and ONLY see him if its to receive child support or for him to see the baby?

[Wonderment]

and why I feel like its so important is.. Im freakin obsessing.

 

wondering what I can do to repair the nagging I did about those issues.

 

wondering what I can do to make him feel in love with me and want to fix those things.

 

and HE is not fixing them. and he could if he wants. But apparently he doesnt.

 

and "nice guy" or not.. these are some pretty weird/ bad character things that he's done in our relationship.

[furiouspsych]

I swear u sound like my ex up till the kid part and beyond. lol I think u know the answer but you want verification...I guess that would be an idea. You're worth more than this and you would do so much better by cutting the ties that you can. If he's not changing his status, he's not telling anyone he's in a relationship. It's crap. He's driving your obsession. Something has to change, right?

[shineyboot]

I'd delete him off everything and block all channels of communication and you will feel so much better.