Help!!! I have a Problem and I hope you all can Help

[Krusty_47]

Well this is going to be a very long post so please bear with me.

 

I met this girl a year and a half ago. We started dating soon after we met. At that time she was pregnant from a rape but we stuck through everything with that. She had an abortion so that was tough on both of us. At anyrate the relationship goes on and we break up. then she gets with this other guy. one of her exes. then she dumps him and gets back with me. Everything was going great until she got pregnant. We decided to give the child up for adoption even though we didn't want too. Well, this guy decides to stick his nose where it doesn't belong saying he'll marry her and take care of the kid as if it were his. Stuff like that. Well, she turns him down and stay with me. I had been a huge a$$-hole for a long time and not even realizing what I was doing. I feel really bad about it now and I wish I hadn't because shortly after the birth and adoption of my son she broke it off and got back together with this other guy who is completely wrong for her it's really sad. Now they are engaged and planning their wedding. at any rate I did everything wrong in trying to get her back and now it's five months later and I think I've completely botched things. But I see glimmers of hope in her when see tells me to look at stuff like what is in Strategy for Getting Back Together w/ Your Ex. I just can't understand her some times. Just last week we slept together and that's when she said to go check that stuff out. but starting today I have started to nc rule and haven't told her yet. am I on the right track or is there something else I should be doing? PLZ Help

[makaw]

Try not to hang on to those "glimmers of hope". You might be reading something much more into this than she is. Maybe she used the book to get back with the guy she is now engaged to.

 

No contact is definitely the way to go. If she slept with you and engaged to someone else, you need to get out. Make her decide if it's you or the other guy. It HAS to be her decision. She could just be using you instead of trying to get back together. Don't let yourself be used as a yo-yo by her. If she truly wants you back then she should use the book on herself to get back with YOU.

 

I know you really care for her but this relationship cannot be one sided. If it is, you will never be able to trust the relationship. You will never be able to truly believe she wants you for you. Have inner strength, lots of it, and follow through with no contact. That's the only way you'll know for sure how she feels about you.

 

Good luck.

[Krusty_47]

thanks for the advice. I am really hoping to keep the nc up. I will have to call her though to get ahold of my friend who lives with her and her fiance because he doesn't have a phone but I think I should just call and tell her I want to talk to him. I hope that will work. ANy Ideas on this?

[makaw]

If you have to get ahold of her to get to your friend, go ahead. But try to find a way to reach your friend without going through her. Cell phone, scheduled time, whatever, just try to not hear her voice. No contact means NO contact. It won't truly have a chance to work if you have SOME contact.