Best advice I got during break up....

[judgeinjury]

It's kind of funny really.

 

My girl of 4 years and some change left me back in February and while I am a lot better now, though we are unfortunately done forever, I was a wreck for a few weeks there.

 

Anyways, my brother has been through this and he gave me the best advice to ensure that you act "normal" infront of your ex. Guys, and girls presumably, spank your monkey like right before you see her, call her, e-mail her, etc.

 

I just did almost four weeks of no contact only to blow it all by crying on the phone tonight and calling her back too late sobbing like a weak douchbag. If I had just choked my chicken and achieved the "enlightened" sense of euphoria that accompanies whacking off, I would have been able to maintain my composure, and not feel like such a moron right now.

 

Crying is not attractive, it only guilts them, which doesn't get her back to you at all.

 

So if you are crying while you dial her number, writing up a 10 page "I still love you" letter, or putting together a 20k e-mail with some Browning poetry or whatever, stop it and get on this here interweb and take care of some bidness first. Hey it's all out there, no matter what you tastes are sailor, for free no less.

 

Then put down the phone, trash the letter, and delete that monster e-mail. Trust me, it wouldn't have worked anyway, I know from experience.

 

But if you must have poetry, here's a little couplet to help you stay cool in front of her the next time you see her:

If you want to get her back,

before you talk, take time to jack.

 

Good luck!

[JNZSFLA66]

Time is the absolute only thing that can heal U from a breakup/divorce. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years dumped me back in Nov. of 03. For 4 months I was a total basket case. I'm no kid..I'm now 38 yrs. old & been thru this before.

 

It was sometime in late March, about 7-8 weeks ago when I knew my feelings were gone for her, thank the good Lord. I ran into her & she was with a man, a date I presume. They were holding hands & making kissey face & I had no reaction ..didn't feel upset, angery..just nothing. I knew I was done & she is now only another chapter in my 38 yr. life.

 

So, remember..time & time alone is the only & I mean only thing that will take care of any feelings you have for an Ex. It's over & there is a reason so just ride the waves of time.

 

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS. HOPE IT CAN HELP EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST WAY

[QTpie87]

you are so totally right,

i found out that crying and begging for them to come back to you makes things so much worse, and makes them not want to see you even when you are over it and just want to be friends or see how they are.

i totally agree.

love QTpie87

[sachat]

hey i understand what you're saying. Me and my x just broke up and i am in the no contect period. Fortunately (or unfortunately) i have been on this road before, last year i broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, and no matter how i plead, argue, beg, cried or whatever he still broke up with me, the situation was made harder by the fact that we were living together and saw each other all the time.

 

So this time around, i have learn from my mistake and am not contacting the x for a while, and when i do i intend to act "normal" around him, being friendly and all, so he can see what attract him to me at first, you know the two of us together having fun. Maybe that's not right trying to be friend, just to get him back, but its the best way to get him back.

[lisaria]

Hey judge,

I really liked your advice. It makes sense to me, but unfortunately I can't use it. Whenever I get myself off I think of him and that just makes me feel worse. Which is bad since I miss it so much and I really enjoy it. Sigh.

But I'm going to remember your little poem and smile when I think of it. Thanks.

Lisa

[kungfumaster]

Judge - that's hilarious - I love it. I know what you mean though, but I also feel like Lisaria - it just makes me miss her even more - aaaaaeeeeeyyyy

[FreeAgain]

I broke no contact twice in the past week and i think im feeling the urge to call her now. Uh oh, i better act fast

 

very funny piece of advice judgeinjury. Now im leaving here with a smile

[healing]

...wow, I think I've heard it all now!

 

Hey, whatever works for you!

 

If it's over, it's over though. You will have to find a way to move on.

 

I suggest 'no contact' if you are serious about letting go and healing from this loss.

 

Good luck to you!