Im so lost

[NewBreedGirl]

okay my life sucks right now ... i really like this guy ... and whatever we're like "good friends" and he like conciders me as "a sister" ... yea i knwo total ouch ... but i dunno i always thought that things might change for the better ... they still have yet to do so ... i was just wondering like # one is it hard to get out of the "friend zone" and how to do so ... and like if I'm a guys friend would it be weird to like hook up with him .... basically is there any hope for me at all?!

 

-i'd appriciate your advise ... THANKS

-kat-

[KatieCutie0]

Hey,

This is always the hardest thing. It's great that you two like each other in that sense, and your friendship is a great thing, don't disregard entirely in hopes of reaching the next level. My advice for you is to continue like you've been, don't be pushy because it'll only push him away. If you truly care for this guy and you want a lasting relationship, than take your time. patience is hard, but it is a virtue. Believe me from experience * i know that if you are patient with him (and your self!) then things will workout for the better.

*Experience is the worst teacher, it gives you the test before the lesson.

Good Luck with you and your friend. i wish all the best. ttyl. bye.

[Shifty101]

Here is an article from a college newspaper. It describes men a "platonic friendships" with women.

 

Being here for the last 7 months i have heard the term "platonic friends" used over and over again by females, but never by males. Why is that? It's because deep down, guys dont want to be JUST friends with a girl they find attractive. A male's only true platonic friends are grossly overweight females that have the power to consume damn near an entire case of beer in two hours. Otherwise, he's just playing the platonic friend card while secretly wanting to hit it in the worst way. Guys are horny. Guys cant be friends with someone they want to have sex with. Sex is the leading space-taker-upper of the male mind. Think about it, anytime women ask for advice about some guy they're crushing on, their guy "friend" will always put down or make fun of the other guy hoping the troubled babe will like them more. And guys, face it, all a platonic male friend is to a woman is a "dick in a jar" we're there if they're desperate or just need some lovin'. The sad thing is we're OK with it, because we're always horny. Sorry to let the secret out ladies, but any guy that you think of as a platonic friend would probably sleep with you in a second if you asked him. Unless you're a beer-guzzling ogre of a gal, then you have no "dick jar". Now all you ladies out there know why boyfriends get so jealous when you're out with your guy friends, because we know how we think.

 

There is no "friend zone" for men so there is always hope. Hope this at least brings a smile to your face if nothing else.

 

P.S. Take this article with a grain of salt please.

[Wander The Way]

If i would consider anyone my sister..

it's either They are

or

I really care about them, like caring as a sister.

 

i would really doubt that woud effect his decious on going out with you

 

Yea i just got dumped so I doubt i could give any advice right now.

( i feel a bit crestfallen these days )

 

but really you should at least try to ask him out.

[NewBreedGirl]

okay this is all really good advise and and stuff .... the thing is like i think he does have a friend zone i mean like he always tells people when they mention if he likes me "that he just doesn't look at me that way" ... and that it would be like "checking out his sister' and stuff like taht ... and okay this is where it gets good .... he's starting to like my x-best friend that i started to talk to cuz we're in track together ... biggest regret cuz now he likes her and shes like MISS FLIRT ... so shes all "hehe .. omg im so giggly and hyper and cute and OMG can i flirt with you some more cuz i mean im not all over you enough as it is" ... god it makes me want to hurl .... so yea i don't know what im gunna do ... im in a MESS

[sebaot]

When I listen to you and hear about him, it sounds to me that comparing the two of you, he's not looking for anything serious. I'm not saying you are looking for something serious either, but compared to him, you probably are, you know. Seems like he's looking for something shallow, or maybe he's just an idiot. I think I can relate on the former. I feel myself in the "friend zone" with some girls that I talk to, but am really looking for something shallow that doesn't enter the "friend zone". Somebody giggly and flirty fits the bill. My reason is just having exited a relationship and not wanting something that I'd possibly have to worry about and not wanting something that lasts more than 1 month. Kinda how I feel. I'm guessing he's kinda the same way. Don't waste your time on him. I know, easy to say, but I've been in school and know how intense things can get, so take it from my experience and don't spend your best years waiting for some guy to come around. (I spent some time like that in high-school instead of having fun, and I regret it.)

 

By the way, I'd agree there is no "friend zone" with guys. You can't associate with an attractive girl without getting attracted to her. Or maybe I'm just a caveman. I dunno. I know I called it the "friend zone" previously, but it's really a "comfort zone" or "potential women zone."

[NewBreedGirl]

haha thank you donna for that lovely post ;o ... ohh and sebaot .... i really don't think hes just looking for like a little thing ... hes like never really "had a girl" ... its pretty sad since hes like a junior ... but what can you do ... so i really don't think he knows this ... and i feel taht if he gets his heart broken hes gunna have this awful idea of what girls are ...and its gunna make a bad imprint ...

[sebaot]

What can I say ... bad things happen to good people? I can relate to what you're saying (been there), and in my experience, talking to the person won't really take them down from their high. I guess he'll make his mistakes.

 

Another thing about guys is they always want what they can't have. If you're into it enough, maybe you can distance yourself from him for a while so he gets to "miss" you and your presense. It's like what I said about the "comfort zone". You're in the comfort zone and a safe bet, so I think he gambles with this other chick (because he can afford it). We don't see what's good for us ... for real.

 

Anyway, have fun in a good way. And I've got a question ... "expensive diesel *WHAT* " ?!

[KatieCutie0]

Exactly sebaot! it's called

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law: prov. The correct, original Murphy's Law reads: "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it." This is a principle of defensive design, cited here because it is usually given in mutant forms less descriptive of the challenges of design for lusers. For example, you don't make a two-pin plug symmetrical and then label it `THIS WAY UP'; if it matters which way it is plugged in, then you make the design asymmetrical.

OR ... (aka)

If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.

But thats only for the superstitious. Yes, bad things do happen, but there's also ying and yang, everything's balanced. theres an equal good for the bad.

i hope things work out. ttyl.

bye.