Over one speed bump, now to face the others!

[INeedHelpFast]

I've been trying for the past few months to meet this girl I've seen on campus. I tried through multiple mutual friends which amounted to plans that eventually fell through. Mind you, she has no idea I like her. Anyways, I was at a party a couple days ago, and she walks in with her friends, and suddenly I get this thought in my head "meet her now, or never." So I kinda stayed in the same area she was in and waited until I knew someone that we both knew mutually. I introduced myself and such, and then started talking to her friend but her friend was very awkward and couldn't hold a conversation, so I kinda just played it off and said, "im sorry im drunk lol nvm my dumb questions" and we all had a good laugh and I left. However, for the rest of the night, she would just stare in my direction but it didn't seem like she would make any first moves. I had already met her and introduced myself, so I figured I would just friend her on facebook and start a conversation there, as she seemed a bit shy too.

 

I guess my problem now is that she seems shy, and I like her, so I keep telling myself to play things safe so i don't mess up anything. I guess my next step should be to friend her on facebook and start a conversation there, but I'm not really sure what to say to her, for some reason, I feel like I'll be put in an awkward spot like I was with her friend at the party. I keep running this thought through my head as to why she keeps looking at me whenever we are in the same social setting, I mean I don't think im weird or anything, but do girls just usually stare like that?

[toflyforreal]

don't do the facebook thing, and don't worry about "messing things up" there is nothing to mess up right now.

 

you've met before, now next time you see her just ask her some questions about her major or her hobbies, just chat her up and stuff!

 

if it goes well, ask her at the end if she'd like to go out with you for lunch or coffee sometime, then take her number and call her soon.

 

i can basically guarentee you that this will work, unless she has a boyfriend or considers herself a lesbian or something.

[INeedHelpFast]

don't do the facebook thing, and don't worry about "messing things up" there is nothing to mess up right now.

 

you've met before, now next time you see her just ask her some questions about her major or her hobbies, just chat her up and stuff!

 

if it goes well, ask her at the end if she'd like to go out with you for lunch or coffee sometime, then take her number and call her soon.

 

i can basically guarentee you that this will work, unless she has a boyfriend or considers herself a lesbian or something.

 

 

I agree with your plan of just waiting to talk to her in person again. However, although it is hard to explain, I don't anticipate seeing her again. The party I was at was just a random one we happened to pass by. Deep down though, I've been trying to meet this girl for a really really long time. It wouldn't be weird if I just talked to her on facebook chat or something at this point since I already met her right? If I knew that I would see her again, then I would wait to talk to her, but its not something I anticipate at all. Also, in person, she seems very shy and content to herself. I know she is single through mutual friends, but my goal wasn't to blatantly talk to her on facebook and ask her out, it was just to get to know her better, and based on that ask her out to coffee or something.

[toflyforreal]

well, that makes sense.. you would understand the social circumstances of when you're likely to see her, etc. talking to her on facebook seems like it would be fine. small talk on facebook walls or chatting can actually work just fine, come to think of it, haha and is a good basis for getting to know someone a little better before taking "the jump."

 

i just recommend that actual "asking out" be done in person, and followed up over phone! i have never taken an online request to go out somewhere with someone very seriously, not until they've picked up a phone and called.

[INeedHelpFast]

well, that makes sense.. you would understand the social circumstances of when you're likely to see her, etc. talking to her on facebook seems like it would be fine. small talk on facebook walls or chatting can actually work just fine, come to think of it, haha and is a good basis for getting to know someone a little better before taking "the jump."

 

i just recommend that actual "asking out" be done in person, and followed up over phone! i have never taken an online request to go out somewhere with someone very seriously, not until they've picked up a phone and called.

 

yeah hahaha i figured I'd leave that for in person. my situation right now is that I met her when I was slightly drunk, but I still met her. Is it creepy to friend request someone you met when you were slightly drunk? lol the first party i went to a few months ago, i saw her looking at me and then when I turned my head, she quickly looked away. and then a couple days ago at this party, she looks at me, and I guess waits for me to approach, but when I didn't she would continue doing her own thing, but she would still hold eye contact. I'm not sure what to think, but I feel like the only way for me to get to know her better would be to friend her on facebook and have small chats. I mean, i do remember everything she said, even though the conversation was really really short. I introduced myself, and found out that we live about 5 minutes away, at home, but we are in college right now. And that was about it.

[toflyforreal]

oh yes college. i am in college myself haha perhaps that is why your situation rings so true to me.

i think it is fine to do a friend request, you should probably do it sooner rather than later so she doesn't feel like it's "Creepy" or you've been thinking about it way too long or anything.

then just message her saying anything you can think of..

 

sounds to me like you have a blank slate where anything can happen!

i'm in a similar situation myself, although in this case we are already f.b. friends and have chatted only very briefly in person haha so i'd have to take my own advice and make a move to talk in person if i wanted a date to happen, or something more to develop.

[INeedHelpFast]

oh yes college. i am in college myself haha perhaps that is why your situation rings so true to me.

i think it is fine to do a friend request, you should probably do it sooner rather than later so she doesn't feel like it's "Creepy" or you've been thinking about it way too long or anything.

then just message her saying anything you can think of..

 

sounds to me like you have a blank slate where anything can happen!

i'm in a similar situation myself, although in this case we are already f.b. friends and have chatted only very briefly in person haha so i'd have to take my own advice and make a move to talk in person if i wanted a date to happen, or something more to develop.

 

 

i didnt wanna do it too soon in fear that I may come off creepy lol, but yeah i agree that waiting too long can have the same impact. i was thinking about taking the approach of friend requesting her, and then just facebook chatting her as opposed to sending a private message or something. that way, it feels more like a conversation. at the same time, im not sure how i would start off the conversation. maybe something that happened at the party? i know the alarms went off lol

 

i feel like at a college students' age, its weird to say "it was nice meeting you the other night" , personally i wouldn't know how to respond to that. and to some extent, im hoping that she will initiate something, but i cant seem to get the thought out of my head as to why she stares at me lol.

[toflyforreal]

don't worry about why she was staring at you. in the best case scenario she was interested in you and hoping for a chance to talk.. or in a more neutral scenario she was just glancing at people out of random curiosity. either way it doesn't seem like a bad thing!

 

and while yes it sounds formal to say "it was nice to meet you," since it is a genuine sentiment she'd probably be flattered to hear it! maybe you can open the message with a joke about the alarms or whatever, and then make some kind of joke about seeing her or meeting her again or something. if you just keep the tone generally flirty for a couple messages back and forth, she'll probably get your point and you'll be well on your way to going out or getting together some time.

 

private messages are good, i don't think it would be too forward as it is only facebook. bold moves can be a good strategy and esp. in this case, you have nothing to lose and lots to gain! online conversation may work, but it's a little less certain she'll be attentive to it and it's easier to dead-end on something like facebook chat.