Biggest dilema of my life........... :(

[electric_blue_lightening]

hiya, i really need peoples opinions, as many as possible! i dont need opinions of what you think of me if you dont mind, because some people may not like what they hear but please just tell me what you would do if you were in my situation! you see im in a very big dilema and i havent a clue what to do! there is this lad, (i will call him sam for the sake of keeping identity hidden!) well me and sam have been really good friends for the last 2 years, and i have always felt something towards him, we went out for a while and we have sleot together quite alot, ita amazing sex and we both love it, but it was kind of a secret casual thing because we didnt want to commit be cause im 17 and hes 18. (dont know what tha ages have to do with it!) basically we didnt want to go out because it was fun to sneak around n kiss in secret and then when we were together with our mates no-one would have a clue! and we cud just smile at eachother, anyway we liked it that way, i was secretly hoping he would want more than just sex and the odd day of affection when we got the chance, but irt didnt seem possible.

Any way, last time we slept together was 6 weeks ago now, we both agreed at any time if one of us met someone else we could see them and we would stop sleeping together, which we did when i met frank. Frank is part of my crowd at college and so hes around all the time so i can see him when i like and he lives alot nearer that sam! we have been together a month now and i do really like him, he is so sweet, but i still have feelings for sam. i always have, we have been through alot together and we are still good mates,

SO after a month of goin out with frank, sam txts me and we get chatting and he admits he misses me, and i say i miss him too, (i dont wana go into too muich detail so il skip to my point)

Sam likes me alot, he misses me loads, and he says he wants a proper relationship, no more sneaking around and no more lying, he wants me! so what do i do? hes the lad of my dreams! i like him so so much, more than frank my current bf! so what do i do?????????

please let me know what you would do if you were in my position? would you leave frank to be with sam, the one person you have always wanted to be with? thing is because frank is in my crowd at sch i dont want my mates to hate me for hurting frank! its not fair! i know i want t be with sam, but how? what do i say? what do i do? frank is really sensitive and i dont know what to do!!! i know i shudnt stay with frank if feel something for someone else......... but i do like frank loads to!

PLEASE................

help me.........

[Mythical_Suicide]

Look at it this way.. All of a sudden this guy is saying to u that he wants a proper relationship only after you are in a relationship with someone else. More then likely he's just missing the sex!

Do whatever makes you happy but think about it, what are you gonna do if you break up with the guy ure with now only to find out the other guy just missed the sex and doesn't want a relationship?

You're gonna be the one that ends up hurt.

So just think about it. But also don't stay with Frank (sorry if i'm wrong with the name) just because you dont wanna break up with him... If u're not happy with him and wanna take a chance with the other guy, then go ahead! Just be aware that chances are you're gonna come out just as hurt.

 

-Mythical Suicide-

[electric_blue_lightening]

thank you .... i think thats what my mind was saying anyway, and i am aware of being hurt by sam, if he is only missing the sex, but he assures me he isnt missing just the sex, he misses me, and he has realised that im the right girl for him, and if theres anyone he wants to commit to, its me, we have got a history already so i do think it will work, im goin over to his to talk one day next week and were guna have a serious chat about "us" thank you agen, and if anyone else has any other opinions! let me know!

[B_C_R]

I just got out of a relationship that was very similar to the one your in, but in my case i was in the situation of "Frank". If you really want to be with "Sam" (which was the decision that my ex-girlfriend made if i was to compare this to my situation) then you need to find out for sure what he wants and see if you have similar desires out of a relationship. Since I don't know "Sam" personally i don't know his history or if he'd lie to you or if he's done anything like this before to someone else. It is always possible that he MAY be in it just to get some booty again.

 

On the other hand it's not fair to "Frank" to leave these feelings hidden or burried at the chance that they may suddenly re-emerge when you're out with "Sam" having a good time together as friends. That will hurt ALOT worse than breaking it off with "Frank" now. So be honest with "Frank" if you do decide to break it off, also don't be like every other woman that has broken up with me and try to make it sound like you don't know and that you're really confused. You need to be certain about this and be definate with your answer and that you want to be with "Sam".

 

If you do want to be with "Frank" you're going to have to sever ties with "Sam". If for any other reason then because of the one I just mentioned before about possible emotions resurfacing down the road. If "Frank" is a nice guy that you want to be with then go for it. In my opinion, he's the one that would be the logical choice. Since it took "Sam" a month to tell you that he wants to be with you and see you, to me it seems like he's trying to keep you on the side so he can get a piece every now and again.

 

Ultimately, you know how you feel and which way you are leaning towards so go with how you feel and only worry about your self on this one. Don't make a decision based upon other people's feelings otherwise, you regret it and then you'll lose both of them.