im having trouble meeting or getting attention from girls

[orly05]

hey guys im a 24 year old guy ,im 6,2 185 ,muscualar above average looks...im sort of like a 7.5 or 8 and basically im writing because im frustrated at why i cant hook up or get significant attention from girls..i mean im good looking..great personality..not conceided i swear!..i go to college ..and yet i havent hooked up or gotten attention in quite a while...

i must admit i have been looking to find a girl either for a relationship or just to date...since i broke up with my ex like a year and a half ago, and everytime i go out, i go out with the mentality of hooking up or getting a number.tonight i went out with my friend and he is also a good looking guy like me and as we were walking down the street where all the college kids were at partying etc...alot of the girl were looking at his direction and not mine..i might have just gotten one look..but it frustrates me...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????......i know i dont have alot of confidence right now,as a matter of fact i must have like 40% self confidence...alos my friend which he has a girlfriend also,still gets other girls chasing him or flirting with him...DAMN what is wrong with me then????!!!!....geez its like im destined to never hook up...or just to continue with my low self esteem...i want to know how to gain high self confidence and how to get girls to notice and flirt or look at me more....someone please help!!!

[persoconfide]

Hey-

 

This may sound funny but check it out.

Try not doing much of anything to your hair.

Dress nicely, yet conservative.

If you're having a good day- then that is the day to get ladies.

Smiling is a big plus.

Your friend gets ladies attention easier because he isnt as concerned about getting it. When you dont give a damn, The ladies will.

To boost self-esteem, even a little online chatting or IMing can help alot.

Since you get to practice saying things and say what you really want without up-close-and-personal consequences.

Dont worry! It will come when you least expect it!!!!

[SwingFox]

Hey there orly,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for posting your comments and questions on this forum.

 

I would like to explain to you that being attractive is not always about looks, in fact ... I think it's not at all. I don't see myself as a very attractive guy, but how it works is to get into action. Talk to the ladies and show them that you're interested by asking them what interests them and giving them compliments.

 

I would like to invite you to our "Conversational Tips" section. I hope you'll find some helpful hints there. I never assume that the ladies come to me ... I'll step up to them.

 

I wish you good luck and lots of fun in the dating circuit!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Alien777]

Hello - I believe the both of us are in very similar positions. Its interesting when I read your statistics: I am 24, 6 foot 4, weigh around 205 pounds, but I havent had a g/f for about 5 years (oh yes I have been told by many people that I am good looking). This is the thing: Dont go out there with the mentality that you are looking for someone. My best friend is far shorter than me, looks quite plain (nothing special), does not have a great build, but he ALWAYS scores or at least gets a phone number. Heres why: He has 100% confidence in himself, never lets rejection or rude comments get to him, always gets 10 points for trying and never hesistates to go and talk to someone. You also need to slowly build your confidence up, so thats why your friend who has a g/f gets attention and flirting etc - so its not all about being good looking.

I hope I have shed some light on the subject and good luck...

0X

[vso79]

Hey orly,

 

I sounds like you are really frustated but don't let that ruin your journey in the dating scene. From a lady's point of view, I can suggest that you don't try so hard on looking or acting perfect because you are showing self-consciousness or concided in some cases. Just relax, go with the flow, smile and try to engage in conversations where girls can see that you are interested in them for what they are, not only for hooking up with just anybody crossing your path.

[jujigatame]

Ditto all of the above.

 

One more note: Try not to go out LOOKING for girls. Girls at parties, clubs, bars, and the usual places where guys go to "fish for some a$$" are notoriously defensive. You seem like a smart guy, so go to some kind of class or a museum or something. Anywhere but where you are now! Heck, even Walgreen's or the laundromat can be fertile ground for meetings between singles. Basically, anywhere where you have an opportunity to approach and casually chat with women is good. Long line at the checkout? Keep some girl company while you wait. See a cute girl at the supermarket? Offer to help her inspect her melons, and maybe you can get her to check out your zucchini... Okay, I just couldn't resist. Oi, such an opening! Gotta love a bit of poorly-disguised innuendo. I was serious about the general idea of meeting at the supermarket, though.

[TIMFEST1607306451]

I'M A 21 YEAR OLD MALE WHO IS CONVINCED GIRLS ARE FULL OF S... AND GAMES! GIRLS ARE F....... C....

[Turboz]

Hey pal I recognise this situation because I'm curerntly in it myself so please excuse me for giving "Expert advice" here..

 

Ok, I know this is going to sound stupid coming from me who is in the exact same situation (friends that pull the girls, no confidence etc) but I can see where I've been going wrong for so long.

 

When you go out just be your happy self. Don't get wound up and depressed start looking miserable etc cos the girls just won't bother. Be the happiest most positive man alive. Your life is wonderful, you have a wonderful day everyday (even if most days are crap), you are a person and you are important. Go out with these basic ideas and it's better than everything else you been trying.

 

I followed this advice myself, and last week I actually had a few women giving me the eye in the nightclub! - I couldn't believe it (stupidly I didn't make a move on them [nerves]).

[Rocky_Stallone]

There is a lesson to be learned when trying to pick up women:

 

Women don't come to you, you have to go to them

 

Enough said.

[bryan]

I am a true believer that love will find you when you are least expecting it. Search desperately for it though, and it may never come.

[ozsurfer]

I can relate and offer advice. - im 25, just out of a 6 year relationship, good looking,fit and well adjusted (& modest ). Have had 4 dates with different girls and they all didnt work out. WHY ?? BECAUSE IM A NICE GUY. Period.

 

Start to show some sort of interest in a girl and they run a mile.

 

..So to all those guys out there who have been brought up with good, old fashioned values and manners like me,, what can i say?? - We may a dying breed.

 

Chins up fellas, and remember to NEVER sacrfice your integrity as an honest, genuine guy for any girl. A good friend of mine told me, "the jerks stay as boyfriends,, the nice guys become the husbands".

 

Later.

[Micky101]

I am also in mid 20's 6'1 and in good shape and in very similar situation, I've been a looser for past 2 years. I like to express some of my comments.

 

for some of you who says don't try so hard, and that love will come to you when you expect least, I'm not sure if I can agree. first there are absolutely on women around me and no women come to me automatically. All the women I came in contact with are only because I approached them.

 

My experience is that is 50% your effort and 50% fate, you can do your part of approaching them, but you don't have any control over their response. but if you don't try you don't even come in contact with them. the more girls you approach the more is the chance that you will come accross someone.

 

yes in clubs and bars, women are defensive but unforutnately for me those are the only places I can look for. I have absolutely no other way, no one in work and my friends . I am almost convineced that it is not in my fortune.

 

It is so difficult to start conversation, I just feel too sober everytime. I would really appreciate some suggestions on this Issue.

[symatrixx]

I think what it really is is you might have just gotten pickier, perhaps - are you absolutely sure NO women have checked you out and you maybe sent out a "not interested" vibe, so that ultimately nothing happens? I've been known to do that and it can mislead you to think something is wrong with you, when in fact, you've been the one setting up the boundaries.

 

Which is not a bad thing in and of itself - as I get older, I get less impressed with women's looks and more impressed with their minds. Maybe you're the same or maybe something else about women interests you - the point is that you may simply be finding the pickins a little slim.

 

I have found that if I really, truly want to meet someone - whoever they are - I will. I'll bet these women your friend meets are not your type or wouldn't hold your interest for very long anyway.

 

If worse comes to worst, you can always move. You'd be surprised how a change of state or locale can affect your lovelife. A major life change can do it too.