have i scared her off?

[bluey]

i need some help especially from any ladies. i've been in love with this girl for 9 months. by love i mean real love proper love like if you found the girl that you want to be with forever. anyways we are good friends and she know exactly how i feel about her. so today i got my friend to ask her if she would ever go out with me again ( i went out with her for 3 days btw). he came back to me and said she would probably go out with me if i didnt like her as much. so, have i scared her off by saying that i loved her. my friend also said that to get eventually get her i should have a fling with another girl so she thinks i dont like her as much. could someone tell me first if i have scared her off and second if i should try doing that.

 

thanks

[ravishing]

hey i personally dont feel you should start looking at other gals to get this girl to love you. Just give her some space n time. Dont express all your feelings to her for a while. Talk to her as a friend. Get to know each other and then make a move from there. And also I think she might have been scared off by your fast moves. Take it slow..thats my advice.

[bzborow1]

Honestly I think you need to take a step back from all this, relax, and rethink how you're approaching this whole situation. You are probably confusing "love" with "lust" or "desire" or "infatuation". By this I mean you've dated her for all of 3 days!!! You can not tell me it is "love" having only dated her 3 days. I think you are making a bigger deal then it even has to be.

 

You like a girl, she says no thank you, so you move on. There are plenty of women out there to meet, date, have sex with, whatever...so why stress over this one particular girl? When this girl tells you "if you didn't like me so much" she's telling you that you cause her to be uneasy. This happens i'm sure because you act all weird around her...due to the fact you are stressing over her.

 

The best thing you can do is to avoid her for a while. Dont talk to her, don't e-mail, don't phone, don't MSN. Why? Because you clearly are not thinking straight. Never put all your eggs in one basket, at least not early on, otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

Another you should note, women are like 10th don super jedi masters at reading body language. This means that if you like her, are trying to hide it, etc....basically she can read your body language 'n tell instantly wut u r thinking and//or not thinking.

[bluey]

thanks for the advice guys. i know its real love not lust or desire because i don't really care if i get sex or anything like that out of a relationship with her, all i want is to be with her and hold and care for her. i know i cant get over her i have tryed loads of times. its not just the 3 days aswell i have been friends with her for about 2 years. what think i am going to do is try to think of her as a friend and get to know her. i think i do act weird around her compared to my other friends that are girls. so think i am gonna start treating her as one of my friends and not the girl i love. what you think?

[ConfusedGirl25]

I think what you just wrote yourself is probably your best bet. You don't want to force yourself on her because it really sounds like she's unsure. Being a girl's friend first is the best thing you can do. The benefits of friendship are enormous and the best relationships come from friendships. Also, that way, if you truly do care about her, you can still be friends if you were to start dating and broke up. I know my deepest feelings for guys have always been when I was friends with them first. I know what you're doing may sound hard and like a long time process but what you'll get out of it will be well worth the wait. Good luck!