Help me out here....please

[beco]

Ok it's been 4 months of being friends with my ex but still nothing gets an further. we're like a couple but without sex and now i'm starting to get frustrated and wonder if there really is any chance for me.

 

For those of you that don't know - me and the ex where with each other for 5 years split up in july 2003 didn't talk to each other for 5months I find out she was seeing someone and was completely heartbroken.

 

How should I approach this now? I can't go on pretending to be friends when we're sharing beds together ( sometimes hugging each other) going on w/end breaks, going for dinner with each other it's driving me mad we do everything apart from sex and kissing. I don't want to mess anything up here so whatever i do has to be right. please help

[pip]

I think you have to talk to your ex. Your relationship will never work if the two of you don't know eachothers' feelings and intentions. Ask her what she feels for you, and if there's a future.

 

I know it'll hurt if she says she doesn't want to be with you again, but think of it this way: the sooner you find out, the sooner you can get over it, heal and find someone else.

 

If your ex struggles to give you an answer and keeps playing you along, give her an ultimatum. I know that sounds harsh, but you can't continue existing in some "no man's land" awkwardness. You're either going out together, or you're not. The longer you hang around in this uncertain situation, the more you're missing out on.

[beco]

Thanks for the reply, i knew your right and i know i should do this but i really am very scared of the answer i don't want to feel that pain again like i did all those months ago i'm also afraid of losing a friend and i know friendship will be hard because i'm still in love with her

[pip]

I know how you feel. My ex broke up with me several months ago and I still love him. I've tried to work up a friendship with him but can't because my feelings get in the way. I think sometimes, in the fallout after a relationship, you just have to cut your losses and write some people off. I would dearly love to have a friendship with my ex, but I've come to realise that I'll probably just have to forget about him completely (well, for the time being anyway. Hopefully one day I won't love him anymore and we can be friends).

[beco]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope one day it will get better for both of us it has too.