...and then...

[investadime]

Follow up:

So I've been doing LC for a while now, and she's starting to notice my not being around. So much so, that she asked me 2 nights ago to watch tv with her (which I did).

 

Yesterday she said to me "I know our timing has been off, but I'm really glad you're here." I went out last night and got a text from her that read "hope you're having fun, see you when you get home." When I got home she wanted to talk, I listened to her sleepy voice half yawn "I don't want to be confusing, but I really miss having you around." Following this she mostly passed out, so I tucked her in and as I put out the light she asked if I was cold sleeping out on the porch, I said a little, she said it would be okay to sleep inside. I said goodnight and closed the door behind me...

 

f*ck.

[LillyLooWho]

I would ask her what she meant.

[investadime]

Update:

Last night I was hanging out with the other housemates (read: watching Sex and the City) and she came home to join us after work. We were through a full 2 episodes when she bid us goodnight and went to her room. I stayed for another one and then went upstairs to head to bed as well (I sleep on the couch on the front porch just outside her room)

 

Before I left she said to me "I didn't finish what I was saying last night, I fell asleep and you tucked me in." She smiled shyly and continued, "I want you to know I still think about you romantically. I'm really messed up right now and can't offer you anything. I really appreciate all the space you've given me but I miss sleeping with you, and I miss your kisses."

 

I was silent mostly. I asked if she wanted to watch something or talk and she said that ALL she wanted to do was watch TV with me and when we were downstairs all she could think of was asking me to come spend time with her. So we hung out. And then I got ready to leave to go sleep on the porch and she asked if I would sleep with her. I said "I can't, I'll want to hold you." To which she replied "what if I was okay with that?"

 

I woke up next to her this morning. We didn't kiss last night. Not on the lips anyway. We held hands and each other. She said 'I love you' at some point.

 

It was wonderful to fall asleep to the smell of her hair again..

 

Now I feel like i have to re-establish LC to ensure I don't undo the work I've done.

[guitargirl1607308056]

Now I feel like i have to re-establish LC to ensure I don't undo the work I've done.

 

Right. When you have strong feelings for someone (and we always romanticize after a breakup) it can be very hard to see a situation for what it is. But keep in mind that she's told you exactly how it is: she cannot offer you anything right now.

 

Dumpers are not unfeeling, their emotions ebb and flow after a breakup as well so that may have been a moment of weakness for her. But until she tells you unequivocally that she wants you back and that she wants to work out a plan to correct some of the past relationship issues, you are still broken up. Which means, your #1 focus still needs to be YOUR personal growth and healing.

[investadime]

Fair enough. Perhaps I am focusing too much on 'us'. I have been doing personal work as well, I'm feeling AWESOME about my new city, but I could definitely focus MORE on me.

[lavenderdove]

Just be careful not to fall into a friends with benefits situation where she lets you into the bed when lonely, but as soon as she meets some guy she's attracted to, you get booted out again.