FenwayFaithful Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy who rarely has free time. His life is very hectic and he never really has time just to chill. He can also be very emotionally distant/apathetic, especially when he is stressed. He has been VERY stressed lately and seems fairly unhappy in general. This of course affects the way he treats me. He doesn't really have much time to talk and by the end of the day he's exhausted. Sometimes days can pass without us talking at. He rarely calls and when he does we don't talk very long. Most of our communication is through AIM. I'm thankful for the moment I get to talk to him but I miss that honey-moon stage where we talked all the time. I constantly feel unloved/uncared for. I've talked to him about this and he says he loves me and he's just busy and I shouldn't worry so much. In my head I know he's busy and I want to be secure enough with myself/our relationship to be able to go few days without hearing from him or go over a week without talking to him on the phone and not freak out. However, I'm finding that very difficult. No matter how hard I try, I can't help but feel like he doesn't really love me, that I'm doing something wrong, that he doesn't want to be with me... he does sometimes have an attitude that causes me to feel this way but that may be due to how stressed and busy/tired he always is. Anyways... if he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't be... just because he doesn't always want to talk on the phone or is busy shouldn't mean he doesnt love me but in my heart its how I feel. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 How often do you get to see him? Link to comment
FenwayFaithful Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 How often do you get to see him? It varies. We just spent two months apart, before that it was about twice a month and we spent three weeks together once when he was on leave. I saw him three weeks ago, and am hoping to see him next weekend. The first 6 months of our relationship were much better, we talked a lot more and got to see each other more often. (Like every other weekend almost although not always for the whole weekend) These insecurities started in the two months we spent apart. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 wow if you hadnt mentioned the part about leave id almost wonder if you were my girlfriend. Our relationship of us seeing each other consisted of her visiting me for a week me moving in with her for about 2 months while i did a job near her home town then me coming back out for a 1week in our 7 months. My biggest advice would be grateful for the time you get...dont nit pick him or nag on him for the time you dont get and let him know you miss him terribly. You can let him know that you understand this cituation and just wish you could talk/see him more but that you understand. If he is anything like me, him being busy has nothing to do with his own personal choice but rather the circumstances he is being put into. See it from his shoes that he may be giving you all the free time he has and it still doesnt seem good enough because you still want more which actually in turn makes us want to call less. just some advice from someone on the other side. Link to comment
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