I don't get it

[rican4u2002]

My fiance came online today because we were going to start looking at wedding stuff. And we were talking and you know did the usual hey how are you type of deal. Well he goes brb cause he had to add someone to facebook so of course I said okay. Now probably a half hr goes by and I send him a message saying you're always making me wait clearly joking. And he said sorry he had to add his friend and he was cleaning out his facebook and I was like oh it couldn't be put off? and he said no it couldn't which it did kind of take me back because over where he is, it is my birthday and we talked last night about him coming on and looking at wedding stuff. So of course it didn't start off that way.

 

I did express how I felt and he said sorry and we both moved on. Now last night he was at a barbque for his co-workers and boss and of course got drunk. Now I said to him last night not to get too drunk since we will be looking at wedding stuff. And he was like okay yeah I won't and this and that.

 

Today he has a hangover and too tired to look at any wedding stuff. I know he was with his guys and doing guy stuff but can't I be a little upset at that? I was looking forward to it, but now he's gone to sleep and I'm just kind of left here.

 

At this point, its always one thing after another and it kind of makes me wonder if he even wants to get married....I honestly don't know and don't get it. Any advice would be grateful

[thetruth]

It's a lot of stress - as you obviously know.

 

Don't jump to the conclusion that he doesn't want to get married, that would be bad and nothing points to that.

 

however, you have to look out for yourself as well, and make sure he is committed. I think you have to have a flat out honest talk and explain your feelings. If he can't accept them and work with it... there's a problem.

[rican4u2002]

I was trying to tonight but he kept falling asleep he said and I just said just go to sleep I guess. I told him to text me when he's awake so I don't know...

 

Your right, but it's hard to think that when things are starting to point in that direction..

[ayekasong]

Well, just going off of what you posted here, I don't think its so much him not wanting to get married as him not caring so much about wedding stuff. Men tend to not care about the details of a wedding like we women do. It was a huge chore to get my husband to discuss anything wedding related - I had to practically drag him into the tux shop! He often found something "better" to do when I wanted to talk to him about wedding stuff.

 

Now, is there something else that is making you think he doesn't want to marry you? If you're intuition is telling you something is wrong, then it might be.

[rican4u2002]

Well that's the thing, it was his idea to look at stuff. Not mine.

I don't know, it feels like he wants to but other things are more important than me and this and it gets in the way...

[thetruth]

well you don't necessarily have to talk to him about it now. in fact, if he is hungover and tired it is the wrong time to do so. But it needs to be soon.

 

It really doesn't seem like he wants out , i know you are wracked with emotions right now but try and calm down, and talk things over with him. you guys are going to have to be able to do that anyway, perfect test.

[rican4u2002]

Well I can't now since he's sleeping. But yeah I know.

 

Alright I'll try, but it's just hard to be calm but I'll try