My bf told his ex he wasnt over her right when we started dating

[kjf81088]

Right when my boyfriend and I started dating, his ex and him were flirting on Facebook. It looked like they had started talking again. Though she initiated this, it stopped a few weeks later, but I found out later she got another boyfriend at this time.

 

She sent him an email 2 months later after getting dumped- saying "Lets get married when we're 26 and single, we can work out our long distance fighting problems" (we're both 22 and seniors in college) He went and hung out with her. He said he couldnt say no when she asked and was being nice. He said he told her about me. The next month she sends a bunch of emails saying "whatchu doin?" basically and he said he told her he was seeing me and ignored her.

 

Fast forward another month or two, which was a few weeks ago. She wrote on his Facebook wall saying "sorry I didnt reply on Twitter I dont know how to use it!" I dont have Twitter or understand it but we were def together at the time this happened and he obviously tried to talk to her. Then me and my bf fought about the ex. He says he cant remember everything he said to her and when, this was when I brought up the flirting on Facebook and Twitter comment. He said she was crazy and upset with the "marriage" email. He said that she trusts him and hes not going to be a jerk and ignore her. He called me crazy. He then responded to her Facebook wall post the day. It was innocent saying dont worry Twitter is confusing but still he knew how much it bothered me. I said something to him- He says Im not going to ignore her Im being polite. He wanted to drop this, I did, though I didnt feel better about it.

 

However, a week ago I found out something. I went to this meeting for school. There, I met this girl and when she found out who my boyfriend was we had this long, awkward and intense conversation. This girl confessed to me she briefly dated my bf a year ago. She got pissed at something he did after they ended it and was mad at him. She fake IMed my bf on AOL right when we started dating, pretending to be his ex gf. She didnt know he even had an ex gf at the time but she just wanted to mess with him. My bf, before he figured out who it was and thought it was his ex, said "Ive never stopped loving you and I never fully got over you" a few times. Like I said, this was right around the time he asked me out and started dating me, though he had apparently had a crush on me for awhile at this point. I am 100% sure this girl isnt lying. She admitted she was crazy and really regrets doing all this.

 

My bf's ex dumped him a year before this incident I found out...and I know after they broke up he kept trying to add her again on Facebook and she kept ignoring his requests. The ex found out about this joke, how this girl pretended to be her, and IMed this crazy girl the next day. That causes my bf and his ex to start talking again I guess, which is right when we started dating. Then she added him on Facebook and they started flirting, so I was right when I thought it seemed like they started talking again.

 

Now that Ive found out about the "I cant get over you" comments and I have thought about it for a week...I cant let this go. Looks like I was right the entire time and he told me I was crazy.

 

My boyfriend is not expressive with his feelings, so if he said that to "her" on AIM he must have meant it. I also know from experiences that feelings like that take awhile to fade.

 

He usually treats me well. My friends have commented he seems to like me alot. But this has been bothering me. The whole Fake IM thing is so dramatic Ive been dreading to bring it up. He will want to know who this girl was and will say "I never said such comments" when he did I am sure.

 

Today he actually kinda blew me off for the first time. We were suppose to go to dinner bc he told me yesterday he wanted to. I waited for his call around dinner but he didnt call. My friends were planning on going out and I wanted to go. I called my bf but he didnt pick up. I assumed I was going with him and told my friends to leave without me. Then he called and said "Oh yeah sorry think tonight is going to be a guys night out" I got mad, and though he said "sorry should have told u sooner" I finally blew up and sent him a long email explaining the whole fake IM thing (his phone is off hes at the movies) and Im not sure I can let go of his "I still love you" comments. Should I?

[vertigoxo]

Honey, leave him. It sounds like you're the rebound girl and while he tried to move on from his ex, it sounds like he can't ignore/resist her anymore. Just leave.

[HeartGoesOn]

That little inner voice you have, is there for a reason...Listen to it.

[arcadefire]

This guy completely doesn't take you seriously. Blowing you off last minute, not being over his ex... these are all red flags. Find someone who wouldn't do this to you.

[sweetooth]

Ouch, yes I have to agree with the above posters. Forget him.

[kjf81088]

I just wanted to update. I told him I want a break, just a week or two of not talking. He is quite shocked I found this out I think but I didnt give him a chance to make excuses yet.

 

I actually saved this forum as a document (the URL wont work unless you register) and sent it to him. I told him to read all of it and think about it. However, Im pretty sure hes not going to say what I want to hear. There is a small chance Id forgive him if he did certain things but I think hes too much of a blockhead to realize what I want. So Im telling myself I dont have a boyfriend anymore.

 

Thanks everyone for their input