Ex contacted me...

[freaked]

My ex and I broke up just about 2 months ago. I have tried to be NC for 1.5 months. He came by twice and picked up some of his stuff and we talked for like 2 hours.

The last time confused the heck out of me. He walked in the door and gave me a hug and kissed me on the lips. I was in shock, if he doesn't want to be with me why do that? He kept telling me if I wanted to talk to just call. I told him that he wouldn't hear from me, if he wanted to talk he should call me. Nothing for 2 weeks... then yesterday I get a text. It was innocent enough he just wanted to make sure that I heard that some friends of ours had their baby. I text back two words "That's great" Well then he kept texting me, asking questions about my life and flirting alittle bit. I admit that I kept answering him, but why the sudden contact...

 

How do I find out why he contacted me? Why do you think he contacted me?

[floridafan]

How do I find out why he contacted me? Why do you think he contacted me?

The only person that is going to know the answer to that is him -- all we can do here is speculate, so make sure to take all speculation with a grain of salt. I guess my question for you is: what do you want? You're on the healing forum so I don't know what your thoughts are on reconciliation. If you are just looking to heal and move on, maybe take a little solace in the fact that he is at least still thinking about you and you were able to remain 'on good terms'. Is a friendship something you want, or maybe just a civil aquaintence? Where are you at in the healing process? I think these are questions you need to know the answers to before trying to interpret this gesture.

[HeartGoesOn]

 

How do I find out why he contacted me? Why do you think he contacted me?

 

 

There could be a number of reasons, maybe he wants to see if he still has you as a safety net, and maybe not. I would stop responding, and give him the gift of missing you, and start living your life,which can't be done while you're still responding to small talk. If he decides he's serious about wanting to try at the relationship again, I'm sure he'll "up the ante."

[vertigoxo]

I would be very careful about this. Some exes get back into contact for a night of "fun", if you catch my drift. You can say hi back and be nice and all, but don't, I repeat, DON'T return the flirting. Just be friendly and if he gets too friendly, just quickly say you have to go and hang up.

[freaked]

I guess my question for you is: what do you want? You're on the healing forum so I don't know what your thoughts are on reconciliation. If you are just looking to heal and move on, maybe take a little solace in the fact that he is at least still thinking about you and you were able to remain 'on good terms'. Is a friendship something you want, or maybe just a civil aquaintence? Where are you at in the healing process? I think these are questions you need to know the answers to before trying to interpret this gesture.

 

Those are great questions.

If there is a chance for reconciliation I think I would try to. I can't live my life holding onto the idea that he might come back though. It would just cripple me emotionally.So without a clear "Let's try to work this out" from him I am at this point trying to heal and move on. I still love him and I think part of me always will. As far as friendship, I think we eventually will be but I am not ready for that yet. So I will fade back into NC and see what happens.

 

I can understand him just trying to be friendly, but why continue asking questions all day? I know he isn't asking me to take him back, but is he starting to open that door? I know you guys can't give me a definite answer but it is nice to hear peoples opinions on the situation.

[AutumnBorn]

I can understand him just trying to be friendly, but why continue asking questions all day? I know he isn't asking me to take him back, but is he starting to open that door? I know you guys can't give me a definite answer but it is nice to hear peoples opinions on the situation.

 

I enjoy a little speculation as much as the next person, so let's over analyze, shall we? Sounds to me like he's trying to feel you out, see where you're at, test the waters. Is he seeing anyone? Did the relationship end badly? Who initiated the break-up?

 

Since he's not talking about the relationship or what happened, I think you should return to NC and see if he is willing to dip more than a toe in the water. You're open to reconcilliation, so why not see if he actually wades in?

 

Here's an exercise: Write out the reasons you'd consider getting back together and the reasons you shouldn't consider it. I'd like to see the list.

[freaked]

Is he seeing anyone? Did the relationship end badly? Who initiated the break-up?

 

Here's an exercise: Write out the reasons you'd consider getting back together and the reasons you shouldn't consider it. I'd like to see the list.

 

As far as I know he isn't seeing anyone else, I think I would have heard about it from friends of ours. I asked them to give me a heads up so I can be prepared. He iniated the break up saying he needed some space/ time to figure some things out. The relationship didn't end badly. We both were really upset (crying hard) but I held it together and didn't freak out.

 

I like the exercise. I am going to have to sit down and really think about it. Until the time he comes right out and says "Let's work it out" I will keep up NC and continue to heal.

 

P.S he contacted me again last night. Asking if I went to see our friends baby. Then another one telling me to have fun on my girls night tonight.