Getting mixed signals from this guy... dunno if he likes me...

[Helz]

I met this guy at my dad's birthday party in May, he's the son of one of my dad's friends. I saw him stare over at me quite a lot at first (I'd never met him before) and towards the end of the night he was talking to my dad while I was nearby so I struck up conversation with him, then he spent the rest of the night talking to me, came over to sit next to me, he stood on my foot at one point and was so apologetic it was adorable! Anyway so as I was leaving he invited me out for a drink (the party ended ridiculously early!) but I had to go with my parents cause I was staying with them and they live in the middle of nowhere! So anyway, his mother was exhibiting work at some gallery in June and myself and family were invited, so I told him I'd see him there and he looked pretty happy.

So the day came of the exhibition, as soon as I saw him he smiled (slightly nervously) over at me, I smiled back but looked away quickly (I'm the sort who gets so embarrassed that the person I like will realise just how much I like them!) Well I did end up talking to him quite a lot but as a way to calm the nerves I ended up drinking too much and probably (in my opinion) spoke a load of trash but I did notice him staring accross the room at me a lot and smiling when I caught his gaze. At the end he asked me out again for a drink afterwards and this time I persuaded my parents to stay too so I could get a lift home! His face lit up when I said that I'd love too! While all his friends were there in the bar he talked only to me, pulled his chair over to me, and asked me loads about myself, told me about himself etc. He told me to add him on bebo as I left (unfortunately there was no kissing as both our parents were right there! ), he shook my hand and touched my arm as I left too. So I added him, we talked loads, then he started taking longer to reply, until he didn't reply at all. Then he dropped me a comment, I replied, he replied, I replied and then he just didn't reply at all. he would be active on bebo and talk to other people but not reply to me for ages. I hoped he was just waiting til he had time to think of what to write - his answers were always really long and enthusiastic. I haven't spoken to him in about 3 weeks now. I don't want to come accross as too pushy as I'm always the last one to comment and he just doesn't reply so it feels like the balls in his court. I dunno if its cause my comments aren't exactly answerable (I have noticed that the last comment I wrote couldn't really be answered, it's a bit of a hint for him to ask me out, but a bit too subtle I suppose! ) He seemed to really like me when we met, but now I'm not so sure cause he just doesn't seem to talk. He's a really sweet guy and from what I've gathered he's been single for years, i dunno if he's shy, scared of rejection or just not interested, what do you think?

Sorry for the length!

[Life-is]

I was in a similar situation as you are. The guy I posted about didn't reply to an email and I went absolutely silence. Finally he buzzed me almost 23 days later with invitations to hang out with him..

 

My advice--yes don't send any more messages if the last one was unreplied. But try to stage a face to face meeting somehow. Maybe visit his house with your parents or some other way to run into him..

[Helz]

Thanks for the advice, it's just difficult cause he lives so far away, so would be much easier online at the moment! It's very frustrating!

[Helz]

But from a guys point of view, why would he not reply? That's whats really getting to me!

[Life-is]

Helz,

 

That is exactly the question I kept scratching my head about. There are so many reasons:

 

1. He likes you but is afraid of going further and getting emotioanlly involved

2. He likes you but is insecure you will eventually reject him

3. He doesn't like you that much

4. He simply wants to see you in person

 

Whatever the reason is, you cannot fathom him just yet. Writing to someone without getting a reply from them is against my instincts, but perhaps after waiting a little more time (a week maybe) you could send him another message and just ask if he is doing well.

[Ebrithil]

Why leave it to him you could always ask him to come out with you, I was good friends with somone we were really close but the reason we both knew that the other wanted us around is because we didnt just leave it to one person to invite the other out.

 

You say hes been single for a while maybe he just doesnt get some of your hints, maybe hes to shy to act on his thoughts and what he really wants to do.

[Life-is]

If he is so shy he cannot be in touch with you, do you really want to be with him? You'd have to babysit his actions all the time. In my opinion he very well knows you are interested in him. You could try to gently prod him though, send him a question or an article. Something. Or maybe vist his house with your parents. So he feels comfortable asking you out. Or you could very casually drop a sentence about doing something together and see if he picks on that. Any more would be spoonfeeding IMHO.