please help me

[withoutanet]

To cut the B.S...

 

I am having the hardest time getting over my ex girlfriend. I am 32, she is 25. She has been through breakups many times before.I am clinically depressed, with no idea how breakups work, what one is supposed to do and not do. I am an emotional person who hates to see anyone upset, or any loose ends.

 

She has moved on very quickly, I can;t let go. Its been 2 months. I've felt like an outcast who never got to say anything to our mutual friends, etc. So I began to write letters thanking them for their friendship over the years.

 

I know I should not have done this, I wrote a letter to her mother thanking her for her hospitality, and to wish her the best. I know or have heard that this is usually not done and now I feel worse. Again, I have no idea what to do. I feel so helpless, I've attempted suicide twice since the breakup and am so crushed that I wish I could just be rid of all of it.

 

Obviously, the ex is not a fan of what I've done. We broke up under the guise of getting back after a break only to have her ponce off with someone she was talking to before we split. So now she has all the friends, our pets, all the support and here I am so hopelessly alone. I am in counseling of course, but how could things turn so bad so quickly?

 

Please help me, I cant get through this, I feel it's only a matter of time before I just give up.

 

I loved her with all that I had and now I feel like a leper. I have screwed everything up so bad, maybe its better that I end it. make everyone happy.

If this is what love does to people, I just can't take it anymore.

 

Time is running out.

[allgood]

you have to believe in yourself.....dont focus on her and focus on yourself....DONT END YOUR LIFE!!!!!!! It gets better!!!! Be strong man!!!! CONCENTRATE ON FIXING YOURSELF UP!!!!!

 

What you really should do man is do everything in life you havent done!!! EXERCISE!!!!! WEIGHTS/RUNNING/SPRINTING/BOXING/KICK BOXING/MIXED MARTIAL ARTS/BASKETBALL/SKIING/JU JITSU/MOUNTAIN BIKING/SKY DIVING/BUNJEE JUMPING!!!!! Do all of them!!!! Join a church or start going to church, find a christian group, help the poor overseas!!!

 

You can do so much man!!!!!! Do everything first before you give up (BY THE WAY NO GIRL IS WORTH YOUR LIFE)

Right now man your mental state should be SCREW HER!!! and you can make it be - NO FEAR ABOUT DOING ANYTHING NEW - DONT END YOUR LIFE!!!! IT GETS BETTER!!!! READ BOOKS "WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGES, CHANGE EVERYTHING" GET THAT BOOK!!!

 

YOUR NOT ALONE!!!! AT LEAST YOU EXPERIENCE LOVE !!! YOUR THINKING IS MESSED UP RIGHT NOW --- DONT THINK ABOUT HER!!! THINK ABOUT YOURSELF!!!! Seriously man you can make it!!!

 

If you have money saved up --- SPEND IT ON DOING THINGS OR BUYING THINGS YOU LIKE --- do everything to make yourself better!!!!

 

IF YOU EVEN WANT TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER (YOU DESERVE BETTER BY THE WAY) YOU HAVE TO BE CONFIDENT AND FIX YOURSELF UP -- STOP MOPPING AND GO FOR A RUN!!!!! GO FOR A FREAKEN RUN!!!!!!!!!! CRY ALL YOU WANT FOR AN HOUR AND USE YOUR ANGER ON TRAINING!!! JUST DO IT!!!! * * * * ING DO IT NOW!!!!!

 

PICK YOURSELF UP MAN!!!! DONT EVER END YOUR LIFE!!!!

 

THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WORSE OFF THAN YOU -- MAN UP!!!!!! YOUR STRONGER THAN THIS!!!

[adamt]

Believe me i have been through what you are going through apart from i have been NC since we broke up. Many people go through what you are at somepoint in your life. The good part is we all get through it and move on. It is very hard but we all come through it.

 

 

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Yes it is very hard, but you need to take small steps to bring back motivation. Catch up with old friends, take up hobbies and sports. Does not matter how rubbish you are, it will take your mind of the ex and you will start to enjoy it. Join a gym. It will make you feel better and get you in shape and bring back some confidence. Start reading books before going to bed, so you are not thinking about the ex when about to go to sleep. create some medium term goals to focus on.

[nem69]

I have not long been through this so know the hurt and the lose. It is true that you need to go out and find something new, in my case it was archery, it a case of just getting out there and not being cooped up in doors brooding.

[adamt]

I have not long been through this so know the hurt and the lose. It is true that you need to go out and find something new, in my case it was archery, it a case of just getting out there and not being cooped up in doors brooding.

 

Exactly, In the first week i couldnt handle the nights in during the week so i joined the local gym and go there for 2 hours each midweek night. helps break up the evening and you are not sat in on your own festering in you own depression. makes you feel better. now i am hooked on the gym

[BriarRose]

Please know it will get better. So many move on so quickly - most of us have threads running about just that - it's numbing, it's hard to understand, it's painful - we are not wired that way and can't wrap our brains around it, especially when we love someone.

 

From your other thread, I do know this woman does not sound like such a great person - not because she left - but because how she treated you during the relationship.

 

Please know she is not worth you thinking these awful thoughts about yourself.