Mstamos Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 So I was just thinking about this. I am signed up for a few sites but nothing ever really panned out for me. Usually I will just exchange emails with someone and then that will just fizzle out. I never know when is too soon to ask for a date or a phone number. I know the sooner the better usually for online dating. What do you guys think? When and what is the best way to say to someone that you would like to talk to them or meet them in real life without sounding too creepy or forward? Link to comment
flash83 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 So I was just thinking about this. I am signed up for a few sites but nothing ever really panned out for me. Usually I will just exchange emails with someone and then that will just fizzle out. I never know when is too soon to ask for a date or a phone number. I know the sooner the better usually for online dating. What do you guys think? When and what is the best way to say to someone that you would like to talk to them or meet them in real life without sounding too creepy or forward? usually i will request a coffee date after their first reply as they already indicated their interest. i find it inaccurate to try to 'judge' someone through emails and i believe it doesn't do myself justice either.. so i try to get a date asap. I find it best to minimize the amount of emails it takes to set something up, so I try to get the most out of the way. A simple example after their first reply: Hey! [insert reply here about whatever you are talking about, but keep it short- you already have her interest. i keep the answers close ended.] Are you free sometime on the weekend for lunch or a coffee? Sunday perhaps? Where abouts do you live? I'm uptown. - Flash83 After she says coffee or lunch is fine, don't ask where she wants to go, instead you SUGGEST a place based on where she lives and time. As soon as she says OK to the details I send one more followup email with my number incase anything changes. The quicker the meet and exchange, the better. You can't let anything drag on including setting up the first meet itself. Zero contact until the meet. Link to comment
bronte Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 I hate it when guys ask for a date after only one e-mail--I would suggest exchanging a few and then saying, "I'd love to talk more with you in person" and then ask her out. If a guy has shown genuine interest in what I have to say, I won't find it creepy to be asked out at that point. Link to comment
givenup0083 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 After a couple of casual emails, I use this exact phrase: "Forgive me if this is too forward, but I was wondering if you'd like to meet for a drink/coffee, how does this time on this day sound?" Link to comment
orchidrose Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 After a couple of casual emails, I use this exact phrase: "Forgive me if this is too forward, but I was wondering if you'd like to meet for a drink/coffee, how does this time on this day sound?" This. This is what feels most comfortable for me, as a woman. Asking after the first e-mail is definitely too forward. Link to comment
Gnomex Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Meeting people on-line is never simple. I learned to be weary about some of the contacts I received. The famous saying is if it sounds to good, it probly is. However, with that said, meeting people is not that hard. I have found slow but positive steps is comfortable for most people. For example, taking email off the dating site to a personal account helps reduce some of the pre-dating stress. This will also show that you are willing to share some private information to someone new (trust). Second, attempt to have a phone conversation and enjoy yourself. Now, that first meeting will be less painful for everyone. Link to comment
flash83 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 lol i guess different approaches work for different people, but i swear my method works well for me. ive had weekends where i had to juggle 3-4 coffee dates/lunches after always asking for a date after 1 email. to the OP: you should judge from her response if shes interested or not or comfortable to meet earlier. itll be a dance between making her feel comfortable and making sure her interest doesn't fizzle. Link to comment
servedcold Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Upon receiving a response, I almost always ask for the phone number in my reply, then if the phone call goes well, I ask for a date. I don't do coffee meets for first dates, usually meet for drinks and something else, usually do some walking around or something active on the first date. Works for me. Link to comment
Gnomex Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 It sounds like everyone has their own version of a ice breaker. And I see positive aspects of each based on the situation and experience of the daters. Link to comment
knight_isa Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Usually after 2 to 4 decent emails later I usually find some event that is going on locally and ask if she'd join me. Otherwise, I have done the get together for lunch or coffee kind of thing which works just fine. Usually if I ask if she'd join me for a local event, I automatically get her phone number without having to ask at all. Link to comment
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