relationship problems during pregnancy

[dazguy]

Me and my partner have been together for 9 months an planned the pregnancy. she is 27 and i'm 28. we were so happy and close at first and she is now 10 weeks pregnant. she has been suffering from morning sickness in a bad way. she is stubborn an moody on a good day but i love her and would never leave her. for the last month she has argued lots over what seems nothing. i said to her today we seemed to be ok the last week or so after an argument the week before and she said do we. she says i'm doing her head in all the time and my voice is annoying her to an and i feel like i don't exist. i tell her i love her, cook an clean, rub her feet at night an all she seems to do is sleep. this is our first baby. i never get replies from tx messages hardly and am feeling really insecure. we live together and are due to be going to portugal in 8 days. everything was so so happy until she was about 5 weeks. i try to talk an its never a good time. would love to hear her say i love you an have a hug. is it me just being a bloke or is this hormones?? how long do i have to bite my tongue for? help!!

[Scorpion Fury]

ehhh give it time. meanwhile, give her the space she wants.

[dazguy]

i called her 10 mins ago to say hey, she had a go because my voice an i was doing her head in as i called her for no reason, to which i said do i need a reason to call you? i said we go on holiday in a week an the break will do us good, she said she don't care to which i replied do you want to be with me an she said i don't know anymore. i said this can't go on an how can we sort this, she said stop calling her for no reason and doing her head in. confused ent the word right now!

[dangletsbang]

her hormones are raging right now..this is something you're going to have to understand..my friend's wife was literally the devil when she was pregnant. Quote for quote..this something that came out of her mouth.."I was so miserable..I wanted him to feel as miserable as I did."

 

I really hope pregnancy isn't like that for me when I decide to have kids.

[dazguy]

hormones raging? i said that an she said it isn't her hormones. i'm so depressed an fed up over this. we were inseperable at first and everything was ok. does she mean she don't want me anymore? all she does at the minute is work an go home an sleep which is fine. i feel so alone though. its a mess an all i want is for things to be settled an us to be ok and happy again. hoping the holiday with mutual freinds sorts stuff an gets us back on track

[SamiJayne]

Yeah her hormones are raging, but it doesn't give her the right to treat you like this. Yes you do sleep a lot during the first an third triemester, as everythings changing. The second trimester is the best.

 

But seriously, your girlfriend shouldn't be treating you like this. It's a condition not an illness.

 

Getting grumpy, or snappy some of the times .. But saying your voice does her head in.. Thats just wrong.

 

I really feel bad for you. It's sweet that you ring her.

 

Try it her way, back of the way she wants. Don't ring her or text her unless needed. She'll soon whine that you don't care. Don't let her treat you like this though, this is my second pregnancy. And I wouldn't dream of saying that to my partner.

[dangletsbang]

she may think it's not her hormones, but honestly it probably is. Like SF, give it time..and give her space..smothering her will make it worse.

[dazguy]

i don't smother her, i don't think. but i've become really insecure recently. before we knew she was pregnant everything was perfect. around week 4-5 she has been so ill. morning sickness. i won't tx or call her again tonight but have to go home to her when i finish work as we live together. praying the holiday brings us closer together. am i jealous of the baby because i'm not getting the attention??? the more i try to be there the further i go. i gave advice to my best mate about something similar a year ago, why don't we listen to our own advice? lol. i just wanna go home an she says she loves me, then i'll know we are fine an i won't feel as bad. maybe i'm just to much an the honeymoon period is over? hate feeling this way though. i'm the sort of person that won't go to bed on an argument where she will just go to bed an the next day its fine. how can i go home tonight an sort this once an for all, other than leaving her which won't happen as i love an adour her so much.

[dazguy]

i am trying. after the bicker this morning she took me to work an hour later an we chatted in the car about her work. gave her a kiss when i got out an off she went. her grandads funeral was yesterday an i'm trying to understand what shes going through but it ent that easy. i'm really finding this hard an wanna go home to see her etc but also don't wanna go home cuz don't wanna argue anymore.

[dazguy]

am not gonna tx her or call her. will just go home an get on with it an bite my tongue. hopefully she'll come to me abit more an we can get on the holiday an that will be the turning point. fingers crossed!

[konstantine]

She is probably one of those people who really doesn't deal with stress well. She is probably feeling constantly sick, and yes, her hormones are raging. But cmon, use your head. DON'T say this to her! No woman wants to hear "It's just your hormones" because it makes their anger/sadness seem unimportant, silly, and unjustified. All you can do is give her the space she wants. Be strong and get through this pregnancy with her. After that, you can figure out what to do longterm. It's possible she is freaking out about the fact that she's having a baby and attached to you for life, when you haven't been together all that long. Babies always SOUND fun, but they are a LOT of responsibility.