Shes having another...

[Diggy51607306449]

Well first off, I couldnt find any forum that would fit this topic better, so here goes.

 

My ex from 8 years ago and I just recently both discovered that we still both have feelings for each other. This was a great discovery and I had a great weekend that I spent with her. Now, here comes the tricky part, We live about 2 1/2 hours from each other. We planned a weekend trip (this weekend infact) for her to come down here and visit me, in which i have been looking forward to since we talked about it. She already has a 2 1/2 year old daughter. Well I just found out about 15 minutes ago through an extreamly reliable source that she is pregnant again, and is about 3 months along, something that could have been brought to my attention when we were talking 3 weeks ago. Heres my question, this weekend, should I just keep my mouth shut about what I just found out and see if she says anything? or should I bring it up to her? We had been planing on becoming intamate this weekend, but now Im not so sure about that. What should I do? Thanks in advance for any advice!!

[Shy_Guy]

I guess the questions I would have, and you're probably asking yourself are:

 

What are her intentions? Did she seek you out, knowing that she was pregnant, looking for a......safe harbor, or was your reconnecting more...genuine? You say she's three months pregnant. Is the father still in the picture? Are you putting yourself into the middle of a situation that has no happy ending?

 

If the relationship continues, at some point she'll HAVE to say something ('boy honey, I sure have been retaining a lot of water' just won't cut it eventually!)

 

Can you handle the notion of becoming an instant father to two kids? Can you love them as your own, and treat them (and her) with the kindness and respect that the situation demands? If you can't get into the situation without the notion of.....not my problem.....you shouldn't involve yourself.

 

Personally, I'd wait for her to broach the subject, and see where it takes you. Not to sound cynical, but if she tries to pin the baby on you, knowing full well that it ISN'T yours, then I think you'll have the REAL answer regarding the depth of her motivations.

 

This is a real to life 'Step Up to the Plate' situation, can you handle the job?

 

Good luck,

[SwingFox]

I love the way Shy_Guy put his text together. That was hilarious!! Don't get fooled, though, Diggy, Shy_Guy has some VERY valid points there and I agree with him 200%.

 

Be extremely careful. If you are willing to wait with asking her, I think the best thing is to wait until the end of the weekend, and NOT go intimate with each other. Then you might want to bring it up yourself. The weekend will just be casual for you and you might discover what she is really looking for.

 

One good suggestion: take her off guard, talk to her in a serious way in the evening and then all of a sudden bring up the BIG question: "What do you expect out of this?".

 

Keep us informed ... I wish you good luck and lots of wishdom

 

~ SwingFox ~

[bleeder]

Yupz, ditto to the 2 good posts made.

 

Diggy, what matters most now, other than your feelings for her, is the amount of responsibility you are willing to shoulder. Humans do come with emotional baggage, but fathering someone else's kids is a different matter altogether.

 

If you think you cannot live up to that, then please do let her know early. It will only break her heart if you were to stall this.

 

Follow your heart, but do listen to logic and your mind too. Take some time to think about this. All the best to you.

[cookies]

i agree with the others...and feel that holding off on the intimacy this weekend would be best in this situation. She may be uncomfortable and maybe even embarrassed to let u know that she is pregnant at this point, as u both have re discovered new feelings surfacing.

 

As hard as it is going to be, you should maintain as much control over your sexual contact with her as possible,...to avoid "im pregnant" situations being thrown in ur face. Babies take 9 months to develop, and if she were to tell u that, and supposedly go into preterm labor (about 6 months)...well if u didnt have a little bird whisper her pregnancy in ur ear..ud be lead to believe the baby was your own child...

 

You dont know whats on her mind, or what her intentions are...and it would be terribly for the both of you to make assumptions or judge her without knowing everything for certain. I would personally say, dont ask questions, but wait to see how long it will take her to tell u...it cant be hidden forever... but if u feel the need to ask her about it and the chance arise...ask...

 

cookies