Wonder If I'm Disadvantaged...

[LoneRider]

I'm an Asian male in his mid-twenties. I am currently in the service right now and hold a bachelor's degree. I just wonder if I'm disadvantaged in the dating department because I tend to fall for Caucasian women as opposed to fellow Asians (no offense intended)?

[pivotal]

I'm a Caucasian male and find Asian women the most desirable. I've had no problem attracting them.

[DEANRI]

I'm half korean and have dated more caucasion women than asian. I don't think it really matters. You're attracted to whoever.

[LoneRider]

I dunno for some weird reason there don't seem to be too many white girls attracted to Asian guys. Usually it's the other way around. It's a white man dating an Asian woman. Rarely have I seen the reverse.

[onewithbooks]

I dont think so, just remember though, keep your options open. Dont limit yourself to one type of person. Maybe if you are worried about it, try making a list of a the qualities that you want in a partner and look for those versus just seeing the outer shell of a woman.

 

Also to I want to say thank you for serving in the military. What you guys do is not easy and you make a lot of sacrifices. I just want you to know it does not go unappreciated. Thank you.

[onewithbooks]

I dunno for some weird reason there don't seem to be too many white girls attracted to Asian guys. Usually it's the other way around. It's a white man dating an Asian woman. Rarely have I seen the reverse.

 

One of my good friends in college was an Asian guy. He was sweet and funny and super smart. He wound up marrying his HS sweetheart and she was white.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think it is a bit rarer to see asian men dating caucasian women. But, it isn't unheard of.

 

Unfortunately, most the girls I know who date asian men are super into anime and just want their own little Jpop looking boyfriend.

 

Your chances increase greatly if you are an americanized asian (no accent, less focus on tradition, into more american things) yet still retain the asian "coolness". I really can't describe that coolness...I just know it when I see it.

[LoneRider]

Well. I am a lot more Americanized than most Asians. I was born and raised in the US my whole life and because I majored in literature I speak English with no accent.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well. I am a lot more Americanized than most Asians. I was born and raised in the US my whole life and because I majored in literature I speak English with no accent.

 

Then you being asian won't limit you very much. At least, not in my book.

[DEANRI]

I agree that you do see more white men dating asian women. I've actually only been with one Asian woman (filipino) and that is my soon to be ex wife. Granted, I'm half caucasian but I have very Asian features.

 

Don't let it deter you. You'll find the right woman and color or race wont be an issue.

[furious]

According to Wikipedia about 4/5 of White-Asian marriages are between a White male and an Asian woman. The men in question in these relationships make up 1% of the Caucasian male population of the U.S. Do some math and statistically you have a pool of .2-.25% Caucasian women. Out of context that may sound really grim, but only 1.5-2% of both genders are married interracially, so relatively it isn't so bad.

[tom1607307597]

I think it is a bit rarer to see asian men dating caucasian women. But, it isn't unheard of.

 

Unfortunately, most the girls I know who date asian men are super into anime and just want their own little Jpop looking boyfriend.

 

Your chances increase greatly if you are an americanized asian (no accent, less focus on tradition, into more american things) yet still retain the asian "coolness". I really can't describe that coolness...I just know it when I see it.

 

Actually I've noticed alot of asian men who are FOBish (fresh off the boat) tend to have alot more success with women who are also the same way. I guess they have alot in common maybe? Not so much luck with american women though.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Actually I've noticed alot of asian men who are FOBish (fresh off the boat) tend to have alot more success with women who are also the same way. I guess they have alot in common maybe? Not so much luck with american women though.

 

This is true. I see this a lot with the korean community at our school. Traditional korean men and women like to date each other. We don't have very many japanese, chinese, nor southasian girls nor men...so I can;t comment on if that's a trend I see for them also.

[ghost69]

why deny your attraction? it's not different going for brunettes over blonds like i do.

[LoneRider]

I don't deny my preference for white women over my own race but it seems that there are few to choose from in this world. I almost never find white women that like Asian men. It's just so rare.

[flash83]

interracial relationships are definitely the minority here, but its not uncommon to see them. you don't like asian women? im sure there are plenty where you are.

[Mutley]

According to Wikipedia about 4/5 of White-Asian marriages are between a White male and an Asian woman. The men in question in these relationships make up 1% of the Caucasian male population of the U.S. Do some math and statistically you have a pool of .2-.25% Caucasian women. Out of context that may sound really grim, but only 1.5-2% of both genders are married interracially, so relatively it isn't so bad.

 

Well, ahem, I know some Asian men who will only date Asian women...so maybe Asian women are more open? Just a thought.

 

I have a friend on this board who is like that.

 

Plus, my gf is of Chinese decent....her adopted son is of Korean decent and refuses to date non Asian women. Strange.

[LoneRider]

I don't like Asian women. They remind me way too much of my relatives to elicit desireability from me.

 

I personally prefer white women over Asian women. I have for a long time mainly because I've been raised in the states. The trouble is I can't seem to find any white women that like my race.

[flash83]

well, ahem, i know some asian men who will only date asian women...so maybe asian women are more open? Just a thought.

 

i have a friend on this board who is like that.

 

plus, my gf is of chinese decent....her adopted son is of korean decent and refuses to date non asian women. Strange.

 

..................

 

 

[ghost69]

well, it might lessen your chances on finding someone, but don't you want to be happy?

[createhappiness]

I dunno for some weird reason there don't seem to be too many white girls attracted to Asian guys. Usually it's the other way around. It's a white man dating an Asian woman. Rarely have I seen the reverse.

 

i know a good number of asian male/white females who are dating and married. it's common - where i'm from (liberal culturally diverse bay area, california).

[Imprecision]

Now, personally, as a Chinese man, I can only ever see myself with a Chinese woman - as of now, anyway. When I was a kid, I grew up in a community where my family was the only Chinese family, and everyone else was white. Back then, I was more open to the idea of dating western women.

 

However, responding to the OP - in my experience, where I have picked up and dated western women before, and where my Chinese friends have dated or are still dating western women - race should not affect your chances.

 

Some examples:

 

-One of my friends is extremely westernised. He can't speak more than a few phrases in Cantonese. All his life, he has only dated western girls - four long-term relationships so far.

 

-Another of my friend is also very westernised. He dated this one blonde girl since four, five years ago. After one, two months, she moved in with him. Still together. They are probably the most stable couple amongst all my friends. (Why she likes him, I don't know... He's the most insensitive jerk ever.)

 

-Another of my friend is living in Hong Kong right now. He grew up in Canada and is also quite westernised. For some reason, even though he's living in Hong Kong, he only ever dates white girls.

 

-A white-girl friend of mine went to Hong Kong. She ended up dating a local boy, even though he hardly spoke English, and she spoke no Cantonese. They split up only because she had to go back to Canada.

 

-Another friend of mine lives in California. He grew up in Taiwan, even though we met in Hong Kong. He's only ever dated white girls, too, except one black girl he dated for a while. When I asked him why he never dated Asian girls, he said it just happened that way.

 

-I myself grew up in the West. Until I was seventeen or eighteen, virtually all my friends were white (since I lived in an all-white neighbourhood). Things change, people change - These days, most of my friends are Chinese.

 

However, even though I'm fluent in western languages (French, English) and culture, I consider myself 100% Chinese. I believe in and live by traditional Chinese values, and one of my greatest life goals at the moment is to go back to China and establish my career there.

 

Anyway, I too have dated western women. And yes, they liked everything about Chinese culture, history - or at least when I told them about it.

 

So there you go - you can be as westernised as you want, or as traditional as you want, and you can still date western women if you want to.

 

Men lead, women follow. So as long as you're enough of a man, then there should be no problem.

 

P.S. Back in the 90s, there was a popular Chinese show called Foreign Babes in Beijing. It was about two American girls, a good girl and a bad girl, dating two Chinese guys. You might be interested in it.

[dr_styles]

I'm the same, except in Australia. Chinese parents but born/raised here. I'm attracted to both asian and caucasian girls. I've been attracted to more caucasians because of numbers (seeing more in a western country obviously) and I would want someone a little taller than the "average asian".

 

I do see myself as being disadvantaged. The Asian male mix relationships are a lot rarer (both the talked about average and my own eyes in the world) so the chances are lower. The fact you're asian, or any other physical aspect, will already exclude people who aren't attracted to those features. On the same note it means you'll have an advantage with people who prefer those looks. Now unfortunately in this case the advantage/disadvantages don't work in our favour imo.

 

Just to put in my usual whinge, I should clarify that all my preferences and my beliefs here have not played a part from my end because I've never had anyone like me anyway.

[capbit]

Being Chinese born and raised here in the states, I personally have not sensed any disadvantage. Sure, there are guys who are taller, stronger, and more attractive than myself, but that goes the same for everyone no matter your ethnicity. Some girls are attracted to Asians, and some aren't. There may be less girls who would be willing to date an Asian in the overall population, but I'd hardly call it a disadvantage.

[Imprecision]

There are always a lot more Asians on this board than I would suspect. I generally assume someone is white unless their picture shows otherwise. Or unless his username is a dead giveaway.

 

Nevertheless, I still bet there are few traditional Asians on this board. By traditional, I mean identifying with traditional Asian values, speaking their ancestral languages, deeply immersed in the culture, etc. Haha, except me. I'm as traditional as they come - Even people back in rural China tell me I'm traditional.

 

Btw, dr_styles, if your parents are Chinese, then you should just ask them to set you up with a Chinese girl. That would resolve your "dateless" problem.