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Why do some people settle....


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when the sex is lacking or the sexual chemistry is just not there? The scenario is they are in LTR, or they are developing LTR, they know the sex is not satisfactory but they stay in the relationship anyway, it was like this from the beginning. They have stong feelings for their partners, but the sex is definitely lacking.


Lately it seems more and more I have been exposed to this, either with very close friends or posts on this board.


I really need to understand the rationale behind this, I was the complete opposite, if the sex was not good, or there was no sexual chemistry I would not even pursue something more, but my friends seem to be making these type of choices and I want to understand more about it and why they are making those choices. I love and support my friends, but because I don't think this way I have trouble understanding why they would make such a choice...


Is it really settling, or something else? I realize that I view it as settling for less, but maybe that is not true for them, or they don't see it that way...


Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

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there may be other things that the partner has to offer that make up for a lack of chemistry. stability, nice partner, etc... being at similar places in your life. maybe if they are both ready to settle down and have a family....


as humans, we only have so many years on this planet and we don't have an infinite amount of time to search for the 'perfect partner.' some people luck out and find their soul-mate who makes them happy on every level. i don't think you're likely to find 110% of what you are looking from. eventually, you'll have to compromise on something. that isn't necessarily a bad thing - you could find a really good partner, even if they aren't nearly as attractive or rich as the imaginary partner you had in your head before you met them.


and remember, if a woman wants to have her own biological children, that kind of 'hastens' the dating game too a bit.

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What do you think makes two people now have great sexual chemistry? My ex has now told me that I wasn't aggressive enough for her which boggles my mind because she always acted like sex did nothing for her (Unless it was oral sex) so it was often hard to initiate sex. I have now come up with the theory that maybe I just wasn't attracted to her enough to really let my "animal" come out.


I guess it's a problem when you're with someone and you're finding other girls more attractive.

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