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No peace anywhere


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I find my life pretty has no good places anymore. Anywhere I go at anytime there is something there getting me down or frustrated.


The main problem is just how I'm in my mid-20s and well, a very bleak romantic future (an understatement). Part of that has been from an extremely sheltered lifestyle by my parents and their non-social lifestyle ... something they are very happy and content with. OK so that, extremely simplified, is the fundamental cause.


My current work is a "dry hole". The people there are all of a different age, life stage and most aren't too social. And it's in a remote-ish location so there isn't even that chance of random mingling if I were taking breaks in a city area. I should clarify my job and work itself is fine, and not under threat. However as busy or non-busy it gets at times, the "keeping me occupied" effect isn't working anymore.

Outside of work my social life is pretty hopeless. I either don't do things with the friends (anything nightlife style) or when I do it's pretty self-contained like group of people going to the movies, quiet drink or meal. Other times I'm either out with the non-social family, or doing my own things where no one seems to cares anyone else exists (like having a coffee, run of the park).

And at home ... well first obvious one is that you can't meet anyone at home but I can't complain about that. Gotta be home to rest and what not, however because I'm still at home (and "expected" to be till I get married I get treated like a kid and still try to over-protect/shelter me. The kid part I've read is common but it's a very annoying lack of privacy, trust and well, IQ. And their non-social influence which has cost me so much is still a hurdle sometimes. For instance I didn't go to a (real/store) hairdresser till just last year so I was a guy in his 20's who didn't know how to go to one and ask for a haircut. OK a little dramatised but you get the idea. And look I'll admit it - I am a little resentful at how they live and the situation I'm in, pretty oblivious to the problem it's caused ... they don't even see a problem.


Might be silly for me to say this at the end, but all that is a little meaningless because through some business trips where I've had my taste of independence so to speak, I've learnt I would still have trouble with the original love problem (kind of like too-little-too-late), but that doesn't make the family situation any easier to bear so I'm still aiming to move out soon.


gah, is there no place of peace for me?!



/end rant

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I've no clue how to help you with the love life cause that one has buggered me too. I can say that I used to live a very anti-social life but that has changed over the course of this year. Have you tried joining a club or society? Maybe something to do with team sport or the like. I believe they are very good because it kills some time during training, you do the activity that you enjoy the most, they normally have some events throughout the course of the season which are quite enjoyable sometimes, and you make friends from there. It doesn't mean that because you make friends with people who play that sport every activity or conversation has to revolve around that sport. Like you can have lunch with them (an activity other than the sport) and chat about other things that occupy your life or their lives. Consequently, your friendship may build from there and you'll have some close friends that you can call out for activities. This is something that I've done and it's great making this set of guy friends, and it could work for you.


Seeing that you hate the nightlife (I've read your other posts before and I'm with you on this too) perhaps you could asks your existing friends to go for a road trip or a tour of some area. You know there are many places to visit in Australia. You should know that. Even if you've been before, you should go again with friends, because going with friends changes the whole atmosphere and environment of it. I recently did this with friends and it was great fun.


I think that you have to start initiating some of the hang outs because your friends who go and party at night will only call you out to the clubs because it is what THEY like. Alternatively, you should do YOUR part and ask them to do stuff that YOU like. I think it comes to a point where opportunities have come to your doorstep to hang out with them (and it's fine that you don't like the places they go too) BUT you really need to be involved with planning things with them as well. I was too scared before to plan an outting, but I'm going to do it now. You should try.

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