Is she cheating?

[W34R3L3610N]

First off I would like to say that I am always willing to accept that I could be wrong, and if the advice I receive here shows that I am then I will do everything in my power to be better.

My girlfriend and I have been going out since New Year and hit it off very quickly. We were sleeping togeather a few days after our first real date. As this was the party season we were out a lot with people we worked with (As we worked in the same building at the time). She had confesed her love to me about one week in and wanted to stay almost every night. The problems began about a month in when a (now habitual) mid week get-togeather with my friend Chris and my girlfriend upset me. It had been a talking point that Chris' girlfriend didn't like giving him oral sex and my girlfriend hounded the subject for some time. She even commented that she would do that all day if she could Being drunk I laughed and forgot about it. He lapsed into an alchohol fueld coma on my couch, i closed the door to the living room (normally always left open) and we went to bed. About 4 my Girlfriend woke me saying he was in the other room shouting about waking up in my house, (I'm a very deep sleeper) I rolled over to try get back to sleep saying "just leave him". she lay there for a minute watching me seem to sleep again then got up, went into the livingroom with someone she tells me she actually doesn't like and closes the door over (Instead of putting the usualy stopper under it) and then silence. for ten minutes i lay there listen, i was surprised she had actually gotten up, but more so that she was now in there with him and not a sound was being made (Walls are thin in my flat). Suddenly this absolutely intense feeling of dread hit me from the bottom of my stomuch and i thought i knew exactly what was going on, so intense as it was. i made a hell of a racket getting up and of course when i stormed into the living room they were both on separate couches, her looking at the ground and him putting his shoes on (he took them off the night before for the sleep on the sofa). I just couldn't believe what i was feeling, but i knew something had gone on. But i had to just stay quiet what proof was there, just someone checking on a friend.

On other visits over the next few week when drunk he actually asked her to "go down on him", she bent over in front of him revealing almost all of her cheast, made signals while hugged up to me, and he even arrived at my door when only she was in and was alone for over 2 hours with him, (she said he was sleeping it off on the couch the whole time)and of her own accord put her mobile number onto his. There have been a string of other things that have made me wonder if she is actually doing something behind my back.

I'v tried to go about this the smart way and discuss it with her in a calm and rational manner. she denies it all and tells me i'm paranoid then drags me off to bed. I have tried to let this go as just a string of coincidences but it is eating me alive. All i think about when not sleeping is weather or not she is lying to me and my mood is altered accordingly into a foul one. I'v gotten so emotional that i'v asked her to leave many times. I honestly don't want this to be true, she's cried whilst begging me not to finnish with her, but my heart tells me something happened. I just do not trust her and if this is not resolved i must finnish with her to avoid a horribly unhappy relationship for us both.

[alilbitworried]

Hi, the best advice I can give you is that it looks as if she has done something, but don't end it on what I am about to say. Since I am a girl myself, the first thing a girl does to get her man off of a subject she doesn't want to talk about is putting on the sex act. I have seen this many times. Why would she want to leave your side and go in with another man? It doesn't make any sense to me. If she has lord knows if he may have a STD and give it to her, then to you if you sleep with her. If you are not married and haven't been together that long then I would let her go, Life is too short and precious to waste it on a girl like this, you deserve so much better, and trust me they are out there. I hope this may help a little. Good Luck!

[Francis]

From where I come from, your partner has not only the obligation to be loyal but also to ensure that you feel secure with him or her. She is not ensuring that at all times you feel secure with her, even if she is not cheating.

 

However, from your story, it seems she wants the other guy more than you.

[Fancy111]

It seems to me that your girlfriend as not shown her loyalty to you by even discussing sexual topics with another man. It seems as if she wanted to let your b/f know that she could satisy him in ways his g/f wouldn't. I think from your description of what happened that night it is over 70% of a chance she gave him oral sex that night. I would cut her loose, it is to soon in your relationship for those types of issues, it will only get worse.

 

Don't drive yourself crazy with someone you don't trust and maybe shouldn't trust with your feelings.

 

good luck to you

[saltwatergirl]

It appears to me that she has/is/will soon be cheating on you with this guy. And I agree with the others, she has a responsibility to make sure you feel secure with her. She isnt' doing that. There is a reason for it.

 

Salt

[OceanEyes]

Obviously, since none of us here actually know you or your girlfriend personally, nobody can say 100% whether or not she's cheating or has cheated on you.

 

The conclusion we can draw from what you've said is that she's behaved highly indecently where this guy is concerned. Even myself, being a very sexual person with the man I'm with, will keep certian sexual topics between he and I only. There are just certain parts of intimacy that should be shared by only you and her. She's not honouring that and should damn well know better.

 

I don't think this has a happy outcome, and all of the signs are pointing to her being unfaithful. Also, another thing to pay close attention to is the feeling you get in your gut. I've heard this said before by people who have just 'known' that their partener is cheating (and they have been in the end). They just get this overwhelming feeling of disgust, hurt and panic in the pit of their stomach ... don't ignore that - it's human instinct.

 

I wouldn't trust her if I was you. I am a female and I don't think her intentions in your relationship are where they should be. Get out before you find something out that will really damage you.

[edexter73]

Hi there, I am new to this site but I know exactly what you feel right now. I have been with a woman for 1and half years now and I have felt that feeling at least 10 times now and it doesn't get easier. About 5 of those times were confirmed, I know I should go but that is me. Anyway, I say go with your gut feeling especially if you weren't a jealous person to begin with. Your gut is usually right, believe me I know. Sit this woman down and get the truth, it is much easier than wondering. Your health and well being will suffer, I promise you that. I used to feel sick to my stomach wondering and when the truth came out it hurt yes but at least you know and you can go from there. Good luck.