Recently broken up..heartbroken

[lohorizon]

Hey all,

 

My first post on here and it's gonna be a long one. Hopefully someone is patient enough to read through it and give me some good advice. Maybe I'm being crazy..or not..you tell me.

 

First a little background; I'm 28 yrs old and have a 9 yr old daughter (who wasn't a part of my life until a year ago. I wont get into too much detail about that or i'll be here all night). So anyways, a year ago I get reunited with my daughter and her mother. Her mother got back together pretty much right away..that was a mistake to say the least. It did NOT work out however I have a relationship with my daughter again so that part worked out excellent. Anyways, the mother of my daughter and I split back in March.

 

Fast forward to July, I get introduced to this girl and we TOTALLY hit it off from the start. I was upfront about my previous situation and laid it all out so there were no surprises. She seemed ok with it. She got along great with my daughter, my family, my friends. (My family/friends never liked ANYBODY i dated before). Things were going so well and I could feel myself falling in love with this girl...in fact I'm still in love with her. About 3 weeks ago, things just suddenly died off. She emailed me basically saying that she is uncomfortable with my situation with my ex and still believes I am looking to get back with her. Which I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that is not the case. She admits she is the jealous type, even though she also admits that she SHOULDN'T be the jealous type. She also mentioned that she believes we are moving too fast and should slow down because "she is not going anywhere." Ok fair enough, I gave her space, thinking that's what she needs and things will work out, I even brought her a flower and let her know I'll be waiting for her...which she REALLY seemed to appreciate.

 

Yesterday we had lunch, after 2 weeks of unsuccessfully trying to get her out to do something, she told me it was over. Her reasons were "she is too busy" and a combination of things that have to do with "her" and my baggage. I asked her straight up if this has anything to do with my ex, she tried to brush it off but said "yeah that's part of it". Those are the only reasons she gave me...which I am having a very hard time swallowing.

 

I am in love with her. I texted her this morning basically telling her that i'm still in love with her. Do I need to chase after her? Do I let her go?

[sunlovingme]

Id say the best thing to do is go no contact. You told her how you feel now it is up to her to come to you. Trust me my ex has been no contact at me and I have not forgotten him in the least. She needs time to miss you and realize what she would be losing.

[vertigoxo]

Oh boy. See, a lot of people are never fans of having a boyfriend/girlfriend's ex lingering in the picture. They are always afraid that they will try and make a move on you, thus stealing you from her.

 

And I can't blame her for it. Exes, even though they say they are over everything, even though they seem to be perfectly fine with the way things are between them and their ex... Add another partner in the picture, and BOOM! The ex gets jealous. All the time.

 

I remember reading an article about how to get an ex back immediatley. The two most important things are;

 

1. Act like you are fine with the break up, and
   
2. Start dating other women and make sure she knows of it.
   

 

Women who see you with another woman gets jealous isn't an exception, it's the rule. It is human nature to want what we can't have. People tend to ignore that "nice guy over there, but we're just friends" until that "friend" gets it on with another woman. That's when jealousy starts to ignite and cat fights are starting.

 

And because of all of this, your girlfriend decides to call it off early so she wouldn't get burned by your ex. The best thing you can do is to leave her alone for now, start up NC for yourself, and hope for the best. Good luck.

[lohorizon]

Well obviously no contact is the way to go. Hopefully I didn't screw it all up by texting her this morning and professing my love for her.