we like each other, but she just got a b/f

[ddriver7]

I wasn't sure which section to put this in so I put it here.

 

Okay, I'll try to keep it short and simple. There's this girl I met through a friend. We hit it off pretty well in the beginning. Soon after I started to like her. We got along great and had everything in common, we're very comfortable around each other. Long story short, she wasn't dating anyone and she really wanted a boyfriend. At first I was too dumb to even think of asking her out. So later on I decided I would ask her the next time I had a good chance to. The problem was I never got another good, appropriate chance to ask her out. So I kept kicking myself, and finally I had a great opportunity - but during that conversation she mentioned this guy she was into. That pretty much ended it for the moment. But I still really liked her and wanted to ask her out before it was too late. Then a friend was told me she likes me and I should go for it. So again, I try to find another good time to do it and I hear that she got a boyfriend only a couple of days before. So then I finally gave up and decided to move on.

 

Then I hear from a friend that the guy she's dating is a loser and that I'm much better for her. She was basically desperate for a boyfriend and wanted someone to be with, so she took the first guy she could. He also told me that I should catch her before its too late.

 

Now, I know this girl likes me, and I know I have a 99% chance of her agreeing to go out with me. But what do I do now that she's dating someone? It would be wrong to ask her out now, right? Her friends all say that they won't last a minute. And she's been flirting with me even after she's had this boyfriend, so now I'm even more confused.

 

What do you guys think? Should I wait and see if they break up? If so, how long after should I wait? How can I get her to realize that we'd make a great couple? I mean she already knows that but she hasn't acted on it yet. Any advice? Thanks!

[brtlangst]

Hehe, familiar story. I met my current bf in a similiar situation but I just needed to get out of the relationship he saved me from.

I would first ask yourself...do you really want to date this girl? I think it's awful when girls feel they need a boyfriend. But if you want to go for it the key is space. Mention your feelings but tell her that you'll wait...don't make her choose. Just work your way in and show her how much better you are. She should dump the guy for you. But I would make sure you wait a little while to date her after she breaks up with the guy.

[DoubleShot]

Wow, very similar to what I just went through these last few weeks. When I was reading it, I thought I wrote it. lol. But anyways, like brtlangst said, waiting is pretty much all you can do right now. Don't bug her about her new boyfriend and say things that may possibly make her mad. Even if you are jealous about it, don't pester her about it. In my situation, she ended up breaking up with him because of her feelings for me, so don't give up all hope. It sounds like she is interested in you quite a bit, and if your friends are telling you that this guy has nothing on you, then she will probably start to realize that you would be better and drop him. Give it a bit of time and keep in contact with her. It will only make things worse if you suddenly cut off all contact with her. Keep things going as friends and then when she does break up with the other guy, make your move (but not too soon.) Good luck man.

[ddriver7]

Thats weird you guys went through the same thing.

 

How do I tell her how I feel? I'm affraid if I do it would make things weird between us. I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing this on her, especially if it turns out she doesn't like me after all. But then again, she's been flirting with me more now than before she had a boyfriend, weird huh?

 

I know I have to wait a while, but I'm affraid if I wait she might lose interest in me since she's got a boyfriend now. I don't want to get pushed into the "just friends" category. Should I do something to impress her? Should I have my friends help me out here?

[WhiteIcE]

I went through the same thing too! But however I was on the other side of the spectrum. It's interesting to see what it's like from the other guy's point of view. Just keep in mind, if the guy she's dating is really into her, he's gonna get hurt if she dumps him and goes straight to you. Make sure he's not a friend too.

[ddriver7]

I don't even know this guy, never met him. I think he's probably really into her, and thats why I don't think my chances are that high. You see, like I said this girl was kind-of desperate for whatever reason. So I doubt she'd dump this guy right away for me considering she's been alone for so long. But I guess that can all change if I play my cards right. I don't really care if he gets hurt - I also got hurt and I have to live with her on my mind all the time now, when I know its all my fault for not making a move sooner. And I was also hurt when all of a sudden I heard she has a boyfriend. What really bothers me is she jumped into a relationship with some loser when I was obvioulsy there for her and I'm a better guy, I might add.