anon_a_mouse Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 A quick couple of questions on early dating/courting with someone; Is it normal for the guy to ask/organise the early dates - say the 2-5th dates etc? or do the ladies sometimes initiate dates too? When is the right time to iniate a first kiss - should it be by the 4th date? --- and otherwise will the lady think you're not into them... or does it depend? Thanks Link to comment
peppercorn Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I think it's fine for the lady to initiate some dates too, but she'll want to know that you're interested by you initiating the second date. As for first kiss... definitely by the 4th date... and I would say probably safer on the third date, because she'll definitely be wondering how into her you are. I mean... some guys kiss on the first date, so... she'll probably have that to compare you to. Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 I think it's fine for the lady to initiate some dates too, but she'll want to know that you're interested by you initiating the second date. As for first kiss... definitely by the 4th date... and I would say probably safer on the third date, because she'll definitely be wondering how into her you are. I mean... some guys kiss on the first date, so... she'll probably have that to compare you to. Ok; I'm historically bad/procrastinator at making the first move. I guess this is something I'll have to overcome or things aren't going to end rosy! Link to comment
peppercorn Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Ok; I'm historically bad/procrastinator at making the first move. I guess this is something I'll have to overcome or things aren't going to end rosy! Hehe! Yeah, I have to admit that it's really important to a girl that the guy initiate the second date. I mean... what other REAL indication would she have that you're into her? Girls are used to hearing junk all the time and having men disappear... actions speak louder than words. Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Ok; I'm historically bad/procrastinator at making the first move. I guess this is something I'll have to overcome or things aren't going to end rosy! you have to pick up on her signals of interest if its ok to make a move for a kiss. i think the biggest sign is that she wants to spend more time with you. for example if your movie/dinner date ended and if you ask her if she wants to do something else after (something not originally planned) and she agrees it means there is a higher level of interest and chances are shes waiting for you to make a move. or an even more obvious one is if the date is at your place and you show her around and she sits on your bed.. also assume you will be doing all the date arranging from date #1 to date #100000000. nothing wrong with that. she might do some but only if she initiates it before you can. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 i usually ask the girl out. i try and get a kiss on the first date if i'm feeling it. Link to comment
Yanet Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Situation dependent, don't leave it to "date number X". Just consider: is there blatant flirting going on? Is there lots of sexual tension? If so then go kiss her. Link to comment
Timbone Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I was actually wondering about this topic as well. Just had the third date that went longer than I thought - Went to he beach, then walked around, had a drink, then she had me over at her place, we hung out and chatted and watched her son play and chase the cats (he's 9 months). Spent most of the day together (10am to 6 pm) but I think she's wanting to take it slow, so I didn't go for the kiss at the end of the date... I'm going to have to show some more physical interest, though we both were talking about wanting a deeper connection with who we wind up dating and being with, so she might want that mental connection before the physical gets in the way... I dunno. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 ^^^^go for it more tim. don't be scared. i bet she's waiting on you to make a move. Link to comment
Timbone Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Thanks for the boost, ghost, but it's tough to say what she's thinking and what she wants! The second date I tried for the little kiss on the lips and she turned her head to give me the cheek - not a huge deal, but a clear sign she wants to take it slow, especially since she agreed to and we had the 3rd date. She must find me reasonably attractive and interesting since she's been down for dates (and has clearly called them dates) and even asked why I hadn't called her much during the week, saying she did like talking to me, thinks I'm funny, and she's has been great responding to texts, the whole bit. I just really like and respect this girl, and I know she's only recently been split up/divorced (10 months to a year from a 10 year marriage to a guy that cheated on her), so I want to show her I mean business (and wanting to avoid the Friend Zone), but not to the point of disrespecting the speed at which she wants to take things - and finding that connection that I believe she wants first. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 she keeps seeing you, so she isn't thinking of breaking it off at this point. but i can see where she might get fed up with no advancement though. but, i'm a different type i guess, i just go for it. i've only had one girl stop me ever. she wanted to move waaaay too fast emotionally first. Link to comment
Timbone Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Well, I don't THINK she's considering breaking it off yet! I guess I don't want some ill-timed physical advance to be the breaking point for her if she's too fragile. But, I know she's been dating for a while now, and she even mentioned to me that she showed a friend of hers my dating profile page, so she's at least serious enough to say to a friend "this is the guy I've been out with a couple times now" However, I guess one can only wait so long for something mildly physical to come into a relationship, before it does become a Friends thing or too late to fan a dying spark of interest. I just know she has a lot on her plate, and want to give her some space to make decisions... but not too much space! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 if you make and advancement and she isn't ready she will let you know. if you make a moves and she stops and she is into you, it won't be a big deal. Link to comment
Timbone Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 that's true. If I do make a move and she's not into me, why do I want to be around someone that doesn't find me attractive enough to be physical with me? One way or another, she will let me know where I stand, for good or ill. Thanks, ghost. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 don't worry yourself about it not working out cause that will hold you back. Link to comment
Yanet Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 There are plenty of women who don't come with kids and a recent breakup. Just think about it. Link to comment
Timbone Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Yeah, good point ghost. I like her enough to have it freeze me from making any moves to show that I do like her! Oh the irony... Yanet - you're correct, there are other women with less baggage, but even fewer that find me as entertaining and are as fun to be around as she is. Still, this all blows up on me, then she wasn't the proper one after all. Link to comment
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