I cant understand it and its driving me nuts

[van_city]

I cant understand something and its driving me crazy.

 

 

As soon me and my ex broke up she said she wanted me to date other girls because she wanted to see me happy.

 

then a couple months later she said she wanted to be good friends with me because she missed me.

 

I dont understand how she can just have pure love for me and not have feelings of jealousy. Like, she just wants me to be happy. This drives me nuts because it makes me feel like she fell out of love with me.

 

But i asked her if she broke up with me because she fell out of love with me, and she said no, she said the kind of love she had for me changed-that it was like the love of the eiffel tower compared to the love of a cozy blanket- that she didnt see me as that blanket that could keep her warm anymore, but admired me like the eiffel tower.

 

I asked if the love had become platonic, and she said no.

 

So if its not that she fell out of love with me, how can she not be jealous at all? Its driving me nuts. And how can she be ok with being friends- a blatant downgrade from what we had...?

[isilv3r]

Do you trust your girlfriend to be telling you the truth on why she broke up with you?

[Guest]

Good point, I just think she's trying to make you happy like she said, she doesn't want to claim that she just walked off on you, she realised I guess that the relationship was kinda just wore off the first fun little bit and realising she doesn't love you? Don't let it get to you by the way, because it could be very well that it was her that changed and not you.

 

I just think she doesn't want to have to claim that she didn't try to be friends, she has some sympathy?? perhaps?

 

But I see what you mean about the jealousy thing, I like to keep my ex's distant so none of that happens just to be safe. It depends on what you want and your pride/maturity. like if you can hold up a friendship then cool, but if you dont want it, then get off it. But anyway, hope this helps a little. good luck.

[isilv3r]

Well said. From the sounds of it, she's using YOU as a scapegoat and making an attempt to save your feelings.

[HeartGoesOn]

No matter what she says, the fact that she broke up with you still remains. I would tell her not to contact you, unless she wants to try the relationship again.

 

You're only holding on to a few crumbs right now by remaining in contact with her. Why do that to yourself?

[Guest]

Yeah like honestly live up to your expectations, if you wanted that feeling from her, and she wants to provide something different, don't sell yourself out to her just to be her friend, because you've made an affirmation of what you want. if it feels like you're comprimising your feelings, don't do it.

[bronte]

i asked her if she broke up with me because she fell out of love with me, and she said no, she said the kind of love she had for me changed-that it was like the love of the eiffel tower compared to the love of a cozy blanket- that she didnt see me as that blanket that could keep her warm anymore, but admired me like the eiffel tower.

 

Geez, I'm not surprised you're confused! She loves you like she loves the Eiffel Tower, but in a non-platonic way...Oooookay.

 

I think the important thing to remember is that she's not necessarily telling you *everything* she thinks and feels. It sounds like she's trying to be really clear with you that she thinks the break-up was a good idea, and while she should probably take it easy on the weird metaphors, trying to be clear is not a bad thing in and of itself.