Im having problems letting go

[zionlion]

Im 22 and I have been with my girlfriend on and off for 8 years. Some 2 reasons for immaturity and growth and one we couldn't control. I understand that relationships are work. I dont want to say I know everything. I also dont want people to think that this is the only relationship we have been in. On the off periods we have seen other people. we have had other experiences.

 

She recently broke up with me for "I love u and Im happy but I dont always feel as strongly as I used to" This how she really feels not trying to spare my feelings. Relationships have there ups and downs but she said she been fighting hers for a lil while now. We both love each other and she expressed feelings of companionship.

 

My problem is I feel that I got shorted and there was so much I could do. We never had any big fights I had no idea she was feeling like this. She has 3 part-time jobs and I thought the stress was coming from that. I feel she should have talked to me about it and had been honest when she was trying to work on it not when she has gotten burnt out at trying. I feel if she wanted that spark back we should have did it together. In stead she kept trying the same thing expecting new results. Then she still does not know if she is missing something or even the root of the problem. She has never closed anything off to me before. She always been open with me. I guess she was afraid of hurting me.

 

I cant seem to let go. It wasnt that our lives were moving in different directions. It wasnt that we werent compatible. We get along very well. Now its possible that its too late because she is burned out from what I see is a flaw in methodology. She wants to be friends but I cant really be friends with her right now if at all. I can't get the mind set to move on

[riley123]

I think that you need to take a step back and think about one thing here...that you're 22 and have been in a relationship for 8 years! That's a long time and you guys have obviously been through a lot, but it would not be the worst thing in the world to free yourselves so you can spend some time apart and experience new things.

 

You both might find that your happiest with each other and come back. At least then you'll both know that you want to commit to each other 100%

 

Sometimes, breaking up is the right thing to do...as hard as it might be.

 

Good luck.