Very odd

[Vulcan800]

Ok got some insight on the girl I have been seeing. We had some misscommunication problems but basically I learned for a fact she does not want a commited relationship.

 

I of course told her I did. So basiclay it comes down to this. She said she still wants to see me and hang out like we did before which included holding hands kissing all that which confussed me because I asked her well since I know where we both stand is it ok to kiss you hold hands? basically show affection she replied with thats fine I don't mind.

 

So when we do go out I show her afffection and she returns it and she even initiates it sooooooo * * * ??? The affection thing by her comment" I don't mind" says to me I could take it or leave it but then her actions say different???? Confussed you say? indeed I say

 

But what iam trying to get at is, when we go out if anyone looked at us we are datting we look and act like a couple but she doesn't label it as such Ok fine whatever. I know she is obvious into me somwhat by the whole showing affection from her part aqnd the things she says.

 

And why would you show affection to someone you don't want to be with?

 

I know she doesn't want a friend with benefits thing cause I asked her about it. She said if she wanted a fling she could have that she said she wanted more than that

 

So whats between FWB and a relationship?? Some sort of grey area Iam not aware of??

 

Is this just a matter of time giving her time taking it slow and letting it progress naturaly?

 

Is she scared? confussed? feeling me out? or just looking 4 someone to kill time with?

 

I did admit I kinda pushed her a bit stressing a realtionship but appoligized to her for doing so and that I got alittle overexcited because she was such a cool girl and I became a bit trigger happy. I promissed I wouldn't push or put any pressure on her. I also promissed myself I wouldn't bring it up again.

 

Maybe I scared her away a bit by doing that? I dunno

 

I am wondering since we are attracted to each other and have an awesome time together and she also made it clear that while she was with me she wouldn't be with other guys.

 

So is there a possibilty here or it evolving into something more deep but just needs time to grow?

 

Eh I dunno any imput is much appreciated

[bronte]

That does sound like a weird and confusing situation! Is she recently out of a serious relationship? That could possibly explain not wanting to rush into making your relationship official (i.e., serious/exclusive) while still acting like she's quite interested in you...

[metwo]

it could be because she's got someone else?

[Vulcan800]

Well her last real realtionship was over a year ago and from what I have heard from her 2 out of those 3 they treated her like garbage.

 

So I guess I can take things slow

 

My question now is, do I still continue to show her affection and keep doing what I have been doing or do I step back a bit?

[metwo]

keep doing what your doing... if the other ones treated her like garbage.. she'll probably realize that your the real deal soon enough.. and if not.. her loss...

[Vulcan800]

thats what I was thinking I think the hardest part will be trying not to get too wrapped up in her if things don't work out.

 

I don't want to set myself up for another major heartbreak

[Dubb]

Personally I would go with the flow but make sure not to become attached to the outcome. I would also be dating other women. Be interesting to see how she would feel if you were seeing someone else.

[cat_lady]

For the first month after my bf called me a gf, I said.. uh no, I'm not your gf. So said.. what is this (we were not sleeping together but making out and didn't want to be affectionate in public), and I said.. I dunno, hanging out?

 

I was very hurt before by other guys and didn't trust guys, and didn't trust him.

 

Fortunately, he didn't really care or let it get to him. He didn't date other women. But he made it clear that it was not cool if I was doing the same thing with other guys that I was with him. He didn't bring up the relationship talk again. He wasn't more or less affectionate, its like that talk never happened.

 

A few weeks later his brother called me his girlfriend. It bothered me less. A few weeks later, he introduced me as his gf, and it bothered me ever less. Now, I willingly admit it.

[Vulcan800]

I talked to her yesterday. She said she would call me tonight and let me know how things went at work she gets off work at 6 it's 10 now and I highly doubt she is going to call tonight even though she said she would. It's this kind of stuff that makes me want to say screw it Iam done