sharples2 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I woke up at 9 this morning and checked my phone. Aparently I texted the ex girlfriend at 4:00am. So dumb me. I sent: "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that enough time has gone by that I only want to be friends with u. I love you as a friend and only want the best for you. You taught me how to truly love someone with all my heart. We started dating when I was 20 (2 year relationship) and just starting to be able to go out and drink. The negative things I did when we were dating will be something I will always know to avoid. U don't know how much I would love to go back and change everything in a heart beat but that is in the past. I only look ahead with my head held high. I hope that Marc (Current Boyfriend) would understand at somepoint, but I know why you wouldn't want to meet up and catch up on old times. I am about to leave the company and hope the best for you. I love your family will all my heart and wish them the best. U will always a special place in my life. I love you. If you don't respond I completely understand. Bye Mel" She sends me the text at 9:30am same day. "You will always have a place in my heart. I will never forget the things we did togehter. Yes we had our ups and downs but I would never hold anything against you. I loved the kinky things I did to you. Your the only one I would ever do that to. No one else. You changed my life for the better and made me realize that life is beautiful. I will always love you and please don't think that would ever change. I still do think about you and would love to def catch up on old times! If you leave the company it will be hard for me knowing that thats where we have met and had wonderful times together. Sometimes I wish you just loved me as much as I loved you when we broke up I know we would still be together but I understand that you were only 22 at the time and wanted to live it up. Which is okay. I am tearing up as I'm writing this to you. I hope you know if you ever needed anything that I am right here for you. Take care " I wouldn't mind meeting up and going out and talking with her but not sure on how to approach it or what she is thinking by this text. Mixed messages. Been 13 months since we broke up and she has been dating this new guy for the past 6. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 She is not very into him and wants to see you. You have a decision to make.... If she left you for him, I would not see her again. If the circumstances were different, perhaps....? Link to comment
sharples2 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 We broke up cause I started hanging out with my friends and family a little more and less with her. She took it as I wasn't that interested in her so she broke up with me. Then she tried to get back together right after and I was still pissed off that she would break up with me over something stupid. She didn't start dating this guy until Feb of this year. I know that she isn't that into him. I don't know if I should wait a few days to respond or how to respond to it. Just a little weird that she would "tear up". She isn't over me. She is rebounding with him and I think after the 6 months with this guy she is realizing now that she doesn't love this guy or see it being better than what we had. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Sounds like you def have a chance at reconcilation....if you want that. This is one of those RARE cases where one did not break up to be with someone else. In this case, I think reconciliation may be worth a shot. Link to comment
sharples2 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 I never did anything where she wouldn't want to be back together (cheated, hit her, love wasn't there). It should have been something small that we could have talked about and we would still be together but she over reacted and it took me 7 months to realize how much I loved this girl. We were still having sex and I took it as we will get back together until she cut that off and started seeing this older guy. She will be 28. I'm 23 and the new guy is 30. She sees him because he is 30 and thinks because of his age he is serious about a relationship and me being younger that I am not serious or I could break up with her in 4 years and she will be 32 and have to start dating again. He is just rebounding off of his ex wife with her and she is doing the same thing to him with me. Just not sure what to say in the text to her. Link to comment
Esteller Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 you could always say that why dont we go grab something to eat for lunch one day? i mean if its cool with your guy and all.. but if not then dont beat yourself over the head im sure there will be opportunity i know because every girl i dated somewhere down the line i end up chating with them again just as friends.. even if i didnt think i would... i end up doing so.. i hope this helps u.. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 ... How did you feel before she started seeing the older guy? Did it take her seeing him for you to realize your feelings for her? Just food for thought.... As for how you will respond....that depends on what you want. If you want to try again, then agree to meet with her. Link to comment
sharples2 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 I thought that we would eventually get back together at some point. I even made a few comments but never really tried to get back together with her. I went out and dated a few girls and after that I realized how much I truly loved the girl. Even though we are not together I have had plently of chances to hook up with girls over the past 6-7 months that I shut them down because I feel like as soon as I can have sex with someone else then I truly didn't love the girl and she doesn't know that. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Well, it does sound like your feelings are quite genuine. I think you should meet with her. Link to comment
angeliamce Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Just tell her.....if I was the girl I would love to hear.......that you didn't hook up with anyone bc you really loved her. From her text she has feelings for you....meet her tell her, give her the time to end the other thing and then enjoy each other......yes, I know it will not be that easy, but it would be so nice if life could be that way. Link to comment
bronte Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I find it to be really weird that she's dating someone else and texted you that she "loved the kinky things she did to you." It definitely does sound like she still has feelings for you, but I'd have some doubts about a girl who feels comfortable being in a relationship with one guy and reminiscing with another about their past sex life. However, if you do still want to reconcile, I would tell her that if she ever finds herself single again you would love to meet up and chat about whether you two might have a future together. Meeting up with her before she ends the current relationship is just asking for trouble. Link to comment
Sandie_Cali Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 All I have to say is, she still loves you. But with her being in a relationship, it would not be cool for you to intervene while she is with someone. You might want to have lunch with her and see where her head is at, then make your decision at that time. Or like some of the posts state, tell her how you feel and let her know if she finds herself single and you are single, you never know. Link to comment
loulee Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Aparently I texted the ex girlfriend at 4:00am. This is very heartfelt I love the way you claim "Apparently" you texted the ex... like it was literally an accident, it was far far from this! This would have to be one of the longest and well thought out text messages that I have read recently, and at 4am.. You both have strong feelings for each other wait a few more days and perhaps organise to meet with her. i think both of you will benefit from doing just this!! And good Luck.. Link to comment
dimnickel1980 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 it sounds like you both still have feelings for each other. if you do meet up and feelings start to rise.. i kind of feel bad for the other guy.. he's probably clueless. If she left you for him, I would not see her again. misskitty, i have seen you post things like this is many,many topics. why do you feel so strongly about this? my ex left me for someone else.. i think.. along with distance issues. i'm just curious.. Link to comment
sharples2 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 Thanks for the input. I am going to text her tomorrow and leave it up to her if she wants to meet up and grab a bite to eat. If I don't hear from her or she says no then no biggie. Link to comment
sharples2 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 So I got a response back from her saying that she would love to hangout but she cant take the risk of Marc (Boyfriend) finding out. He would either break up with her or get in a big fight. So I replied that I completely understand and told her to talk to keep in touch and if she ever finds herself being single and if I was single then we could talk about possibly getting back together. Agneliamce- I did also mention about the whole not hooking up with other girls part. I got a few replies from her. "How can you still feel this way about me? I had a weird dream about us the other night. That I broke up wtih Marc and u came around the corner and put a ring on my finger and said I told you I would wait... woke up and was like..... woah" "I just wish I could see that you have learned but by the looks of it, you are still partying" "Thats the scary part, is my dream is trying to tell me something. I just wish you would of known a long time ago that you truly loved me because I would of went back to you in a min but u wanted to do you own thing" Then I asked if she loved Marc more than she loves me and that if she thinks he loves her more than I do. (Even though that is not something I should be asking but she is a different type of girl when it comes to really just throwing stuff out there. She replied "Those are really good questions. I know he loves me because he asked me what I would say if he asked me to marry him, cause he is scared I would say no. So I think he loves me alot but not more than your love for me". "I can't believe that you still feel this way about me" "I just wish you would of shown me months ago" After letting her know how I felt I wanted to know what she said to his question of asking her to marry him. I put: I just hope that you didn't tell marc that you would say yes. He will never feel the way about you like I do. And I know you love me more than you love him. We have a special bond that you can't find in anyone else. I hope we get back together one day. You have my heart and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world" She replied "I didn't say yes".. So I just left it at that and if it works out then fine. If not then I am not going to beat myself up about it and life goes on. I just think that there were a few good signs with her having a dream about it and telling him not that she wouldn't. That is just an ackward thing to ask your girlfriend of 6 months about marriage. They havn't even lived together. But I guess thats what you do once you have already been married is make up for lost time.. Link to comment
LostKat Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 You both definitely still have feelings for each other. You're handling it well. If something comes out of it, great. If not, life goes on. Enough time has passed to assess the feelings on both sides. If you keep up the contact, you will eventually see her. It sounds like she is not too happy in her new relationship. She may be content and have someone that relates to her more because of age but her heart is obviously with you. Her concern seems not to be with your age but what you do at that age. Live your life. Have fun. This is the time to do it. If she can't accept that and understand, then she may not be right for you. However, look at it from her point of view. You are going out partying, probably meeting other girls and acting stupid. That probably creates a lot of worry and insecurity in her. She is past that in her life. You can't change her and she can't change you. You both have to accept that and deal with it. Play it cool and see what happens. You really have nothing to lose. Link to comment
sharples2 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Nothing new as of now. All I can say is that she knows where I stand and how I feel and I am not going to contact her unless she wants to reachout and talk about getting back together. She sees the security in him being 30 but her heart is with me but because of my age it is holding her back. I am not going to sit around and wait for her to get things straight with her life. And I know for a fact once I go back to college in the spring, we wouldn't get back together any time soon or at least for another 3 years. Even through back in Jan she said for me to go back to school and we can talk about getting back together after i finish. what a joke. I would have moved on a long time before that. Link to comment
deuces Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Wow, I shed a tear reading that! Lol. Link to comment
Karma20 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 She obviously still has feelings for you and to be honest it seems the only thing keeping you apart is her not trusting the fact that you changed your ways. She seems afraid of losing the security she has with him for the unknown as to whether you really changed. Link to comment
pillowtalk Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I like this story, because even if it doesn't work out in a reconciliation, it makes me happy because it shows that when you love/loved someone, they don't ever really forget you, even if both parties have moved on, or even in other relationships. Link to comment
dean kaplan Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I like this story, because even if it doesn't work out in a reconciliation, it makes me happy because it shows that when you love/loved someone, they don't ever really forget you, even if both parties have moved on, or even in other relationships. I guess, I kinda feel bad for her new guy though, to have her talking like that to and about her ex. Mentioning the "kinky things" she did and all that, that's foul in my opinion, but it's life... it happens. Link to comment
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