Making contact... (aka, making deals... closing the deal, etc.)

[matius]

I think too much about things... but I'll tell ya, thinking less doesn't really work out any better.

 

I mentioned this because it has a major impact on my dating successes & failures.

 

One of the most difficult things for me (besides actually meeting someone), is when I'm hanging out the first few times with them trying to make things physical...

 

To me it seems quite obvious why I'm hangin' round you know (no not just for sex, but that's certainly part of it). Currently, I've seen this girl a couple times and we've gotten drinks & eats ... of course, there's a lot of sexual tension / joking kind of thing going on. But at the same time, when moves are made to get a bit closer an air of severe caution storms the place.

 

So a game is a game I suppose. But should it just be made clear ... "yes, I find you attractive & I hope to make out with you"? Sounds retarded to me, but at least it's clear. At the same time, what else can I do... people say to do or not to do all of these things... which only makes me sit in one place and not try anything.

 

So, is this the norm? Or do all of these people with killer love lives just have a spark where no words are necessary & it just happens on the first few dates?

[Dancergirl425]

What kind of moves have u made specifically? Maybe it's your technique

[Brightest Dark]

Is it me or does 'making deals, closing the deal' make it sound like a business venture and not about actually liking a girl?

 

I don't think you should say 'I hope to make out with you'. That would put me off immediately. I think small moves are better than saying stuff like that - but maybe the girl's shy and she does not feel comfortable with you enough yet. Slow down a bit.

[matius]

What kind of moves have u made specifically? Maybe it's your technique

Yea I'd agree, that's why I'm here... the question I'm asking is what technique do successful people use. What do smooth people do... not looking for anything cheesy here, just what's classic & right.

 

I don't think you should say 'I hope to make out with you'. That would put me off immediately. I think small moves are better than saying stuff like that - but maybe the girl's shy and she does not feel comfortable with you enough yet. Slow down a bit.

 

Just want to clarify, I wouldn't actually say that... that just comes from my frustration with this type of thing. I used that title for the post so people would understand what I meant about getting physical. It has nothing to do with how much I like any one person. But you know it's not really that far off from a business venture. People get screwed all the time in the business of relationships.

 

If by small moves means a proper touch here, touch there, a joke in the right place or a compliment in the right place. Well then I think I do those things.

 

It's funny but I always hear these hookup stories or people getting together so quickly. Mind boggling. I don't know, I'm sure it's me. I don't lose hope